well someone had to say it... (life skills)

your favorite weapon

call it one of those life lessons. sometimes you just don't say it.

today in class, we started our final group presentations on the projects. one group would go today, the rest would finish up next week. our teacher called for blood "we are vegan meat eaters in the business world. there is no mercy. let's get it on."

first up to bat, group 2, Mickaela, Nick and Derik.

Mickaela is my number one competition. She's the one that has troubles with group work, and doesn't really have tolerance for dumb people. she graduated at the age of 16 and probably lacks some social skills. she's perfectly nice when she doesn't think someone is a moron.

that aside.

today we started group presentation and her group was up first. the presentation wasn't the smoothest thing ever run, and it was obvious they weren't going to get amazing marks. but as is required, there's a Q&A session afterwards at which point we get to grill the group presenting (depending on if we're up to it)... it was high gear today.

nick and mickaela hate each other. nick got the first question - a reading of the guidelines to the presentation that specifically pointed out the obvious investing rule they broke (no more then 20G's in a stock). whoops.

i got the second one in, a respective challenge on "how can you hit high profit on low risk stock?" i got a reasonable answer, and didn't feel like instigating anything today.

a few filler questions, that they flailed with and all was not well. it set the stage for a baited question.

cue danielle from my group who asks "you mentioned lessons learned from investing, what lessons have you all learned about group work?". we all know the answer. mickaela said the truth, she's bitter about it, but she worked at it and tried to do her best. fair enough, good answer kid.

now here's where it gets interesting.

mickaela has an issue with being very nervous and vulnerable in front of class. her mark is riding on her group, and due to the lack of group skills, they aren't able to carry each other. when a fellow group member rambled off (and there were some really useless points made) she'd roll her eyes and look on in bewilderment. they were oblivious. the whole class saw it.

my friend colleen (re: my g/f's best friend who i more or less just accept and deal with) says "chris this isn't right. she's doing it again" (re: embarassing her group) i said "they know about it, just let it go" she goes "no i'm going to say something" i say "colleen don't you dare" she goes no "i'm going to say something"...

the Q&A is over... so i thought... up goes colleens hand.

"just a comment - it looks really bad for your group when you stand up there and roll your eyes and make faces, it's ignorant, rude and disrepectful. and it hurts the entire presentation, and makes your group look bad".

Shocked

it was like a bomb went off.

everyone thought it. no one would say it.. mickaela turned the angriest shade of red i've ever seen...

the group had already been picked apart, and she just got slapped in the face. the session ended in a hullaballoo and some applause for the group...

mickaela comes to sit down and colleen tries to say "i didn't mean that personally - you just need to -...." mickaela ain't listening.

the poor girl, left for the washroom irrate... i saw her coming towards our next class, and i say "hey, you gonna be ok?" a very stern "no" was the answer... she left a minute into accounting.

so that's the story..

she got hers, and i felt like absolute poop for her. most people took a bit of joy in it knowing that she did deserve a good talking too, but everyone knew it just wasn't something that you did.

i argued with colleen tonight and i said "that wasn't right what you did" and she said "someone had to say it", and i tried to explain to her not like that. colleen argued that it wasn't high school anymore, it's the real world and she needs to hear it from somebody. and i said to her, exactly it's not high school and you know better then that. at which point she told me where to go, and avoided the issue by saying why are you sticking up for her?

the fact is, she was wrong.

you don't ever put someone up in front of 30 of their peers, and then take a chunk out of her like that. i told her she could've just as easily b*tched her out in the hall if she was that concerned, or pulled her aside and mentioned it. i told her it was unprofessional, and no matter how big a biatch she is, that no one deserves to go through it.

colleen said she did deserve it... she insists it was just a pointer, and her argument got weaker as it went along (everyone already pasted her indirectly). well colleen my friend i hope you keep an open mind when someone puts your through the ringer like that. and i told her that.

she comes from a mennonite school, and preachs alot, but if she wants to talk about life skills, i have a few to teach her.

tomorrow, i need to check up on how my number one enemy is doing, and apologize for something that was poorly handled. because she's still a person, even if she can't work well with others.

no one deserves that. not ever.

on a side note - we present monday morning. colleen did the same companies that mickaela covered. mickaela is a very smart person, and we'll find out how vengeful she is... i'd leave her to burn but my mark is on the line too. a damn shame, because she'd deserve it after what she pulled today.

any thoughts?

-blue

Oompa Loofah

As painful as it was, Colleen (right or wrong) did Mickaela a favor. It will happen again in life, and maybe Mickaela learned how to deal with it--so when it does happen in the real world, she's more ready than if it had never happened. Bosses can be pretty ruthless in the real world.

And Colleen had some valid points--if Mickaela is listening those will help her in life, too.

Member

It's a tough lesson to learn. As bad as it is, she probably would never change if Colleen had waited until after to say something. Sometimes the only way to change people is to make a big impact, and Colleen did just that. I'm not saying it was right, but I bet it will make that girl better in the long run.

crazy cat lady

I don't know....We had several of those type presentations in business school, a lot of them ended with the Q&A you are talking about, a lot of them were classes filled with these brown-nosers trying to make a point by humiliating those with obvious flaws in their reports. The thing is, everyone has to make a presentation, and everyone has to be critiqued by the class. The jerks always ALWAYS got theirs when their day came, and usually the prospect of that happening kept the questions to strictly appropriate report related ones. I'm with you Blue, I think Colleen should have kept her mouth shut or at least made it private. Mickaela has a lot to learn in life, sure, but I don't think that was the appropriate way to help her conquer her flaws. I also worry for Colleen's back when she presents! Shocked

Um, can I just tell you how I hated those? THe WORST was an individual 30 page sales proposal I had to write and present to the class, then I also had to submit the proposal to a guy a week before the presentation so he could study it, search for my holes and give me hell during the presentation. GOOD times.

Gone Fishin

The reality of real life business that I've seen is if you publically humiliate someone in front of a group like that, it'll come back to bite your own butt twice as hard. Granted, this was an "educational" setting and there could be a way of looking at it as learning, reality in business is most often it's best to stay away from crashes and burns, otherwise you'll get scorched too.

your favorite weapon

jrjo - i hear yah. i think it's best avoided at school too.

as with the rest of yahs,

i can't say she didn't deserve it. but who's gonna be the better person? it's not up to her to cut her down. it's a tough call.

you kind've have to wonder if anyone ever sat down with M and just actually talked to her about it. i mean, she's been outta school since she was 15... probably missed out on some important school life lessons.

i just kinda feel like rubbish when that happens to anyone.

i'm all about winning, but not like that.

Member

I personally don't feel like Colleen did her any favors. Whatever faults MK may have, and it sounds like they're many, she didn't deserve to be spoken to like that in front of an entire class. If something HAD to be said, it could have been phrased much more diplomatically. I don't think it was Colleen's place though, or anyone else's for that matter. She was rude. Colleen needs to learn the life lesson that it is always better to be the better person and shut the f*ck up the next time she feels she needs to say something or she will burst, especially when the expense of doing so is not hers, but rather to whom she is speaking. But then I could stand to learn that lesson now and again as well, so I guess I'm the pot here.

I'm heartened though, Blue, that this has affected you this way. It is nice that you are feeling some empathy or compassion or whatever you want to call it.

Flailing Homosapiens

I have no opinion either way on what Colleen did. There are arguments for both sides on that one, although I am saddened that she chose to do it such a public forum.

Your take on this is what was interesting from an outsider's standpoint, which I think can be a lesson to many folks. Even if you don't care for a person, criticsm should always be constructive, fair, and professional.

Member

Praise in public,
criticize in private.

AZhat

Member

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well someone had to say it... (life skills)

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