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keltic63
the kilted one
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Joined: 17 May 2002
Posts: 8574
Location: under the weather
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 Posted: 09/08/03 - 19:32 Post subject: well I didn't want to put up a public thread about this
but I said something in another thread and a few of you have pm'd me.....
Sunday, I moved out of my house, left the wife, and that also meant leaving the kids. I got an apartment less than a mile from them so I can still be close to take care of them. There are several issues in the marriage, and the marriage hasn't been good for a long time. I've been in therapy with another issue, and as we dug into it, the marriage things kept coming up. I felt, as did my therapist, that it might be best for me to move out of the house and take care of myself. At the moment, the original issue (an Eating Disorder, for those of you out of the loop) is being used against me.
I am having trouble dealing with the reputation that I will have: Bad Man, Leaves wife and kids.
Thanks to all of you who have offered your support and listening ears.
this is an incredibly supportive group of friends here in the Running Forums. If you are of the type that believes "No Divorce, Evah" please do me a favor and keep that to yourself. I've got enough guilt over this, you couldn't possibly add any more to it.
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copteacher
Adjunct
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Joined: 08 Jun 2002
Posts: 20588
Location: Teaching in the Halls of Justice
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Posted: 09/08/03 - 19:35 Post subject:
I got your back Steve.
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airehead
Oompa Loofah
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Joined: 12 Nov 2002
Posts: 18788
Location: Between here and eternity...
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Posted: 09/08/03 - 19:50 Post subject:
You are a very level-headed individual; if you have reached this point it is only after a lot of time and thought and heartache.
I think you need a  for your heart
and a  for your courage.
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Sandy Cheeks
Member
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 4605
Location: in the city that never sleeps
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Posted: 09/08/03 - 19:52 Post subject:
I think you will find that with the prevalence of divorce today, you won't have a bad reputation. First, because people who have been through it know there is always more than meets the eye; secondly, because even those who haven't been through it have siblings or friends or parents who have.
You will probably meet people who disagree with your decision - but it's your life and you are the one who has to live in it. I believe that people know what is best for themselves.
You are a good person, keltic. Don't forget that. And by you being a happier and healthier person, you're going to be a better father. And you didn't "leave the kids" - you plan to be just as involved in their lives as you were before. There's a big difference.
Take care of yourself!
Cheeky
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Maddies Wench
Flailing Homosapiens
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Joined: 12 Jun 2003
Posts: 6102
Location: Seeking out the poorer quarters where the ragged people go.
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Posted: 09/08/03 - 19:56 Post subject:
Until they walk in Keltic's shoes, no one should be passing any kind of judgment. Get yourself healthy. A healthy Keltic is a healthy daddy. Period. Perpetuating a bad marriage only creates a tense environment for the kids and they will pick up on it.
*standing at the drawbridge with a big sword smilie*
I gotcha back too.
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Cappy
Excelent
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Joined: 16 May 2002
Posts: 27368
Location: Spreadsheetylvania
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Posted: 09/08/03 - 20:08 Post subject:
Sometime you need to make some tough unpopular decisions in your life, and its seems that some people feel that it gives them a right to judge you right or wrong. I am sure this is rough time in your life now.
Hang in there dude.
Cappy
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crazyfrog
Kermitologist
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Joined: 31 May 2003
Posts: 7610
Location: atlanta
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Posted: 09/08/03 - 20:23 Post subject:
dont stress anymore than you need too! we love you and you cant expect to take care of the kids if you arent healthy yourself...
hugs to you, im sure you are doing whats best...
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rolling rock
The Pinball
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 16217
Location: unknown zone
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Posted: 09/08/03 - 20:34 Post subject:
| rtpd113 wrote: | | I got your back Steve. |
can i get his other back? 
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purple hayes
Frightened Inmate #2
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 14462
Location: ON YOUR LEFT!
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Posted: 09/08/03 - 21:14 Post subject:
Hang in there Keltic. You've probably got a tougher time ahead of you than most because you're in such a high profile position (teacher and music director at church).
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kristin31
Member
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 8045
Location: Caught in the crossfire of childhood and stardom
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Posted: 09/08/03 - 21:23 Post subject:
I hope that everything works out for the best for you and the rest of your family. You can't stay in an unhealthy situation forever, no matter what anyone might tell you is best for another party.
I wish you luck, strength, and health. If you want to talk, pm me. (I went through a very messy divorce a couple years ago so whatever advice/ear I can give you I will).
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Laurie Ellen
Queenie
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 11286
Location: The Dark Side of the Moon
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Posted: 09/08/03 - 21:34 Post subject:
| rolling rock wrote: | | rtpd113 wrote: | | I got your back Steve. |
can i get his other back?
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I want some, too!
You wouldn't have done it if it wasn't the best thing. I know you, Steve, and I trust you that you needed to do it. I'm (we're) here for you. You're also a terrific father, never forget that, and you'll continue to be. I hope you will find something better now.
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Just Bring It!
Member
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Joined: 19 Aug 2003
Posts: 52
Location: Central Maine
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Posted: 09/08/03 - 21:42 Post subject:
Keltic, know of my thoughts and prayers! I am Irish-Catholic myself and I know how capable we are of making ourselves sick with guilt---I think it is a hereditary thing 
I was a Franciscan brother in simple vows until two years ago. I am absolutely tortured with guilt for having left, even though I know Christ was calling me to do something else with my life.
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cherylpf
crazy cat lady
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 17304
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Posted: 09/08/03 - 21:50 Post subject:
Hang in there, take care of you.
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shelflifers
Member
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Joined: 10 Jun 2002
Posts: 18633
Location: Austin, TX
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Posted: 09/08/03 - 22:15 Post subject:
Since everyone's supporting you, I've decided not too, keltic.
From the talks we've had I think this was the right move for you, brotha. No real advice. Just take care of yourself and your kids.
joel
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kattzoo
Member
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Joined: 28 Feb 2003
Posts: 3812
Location: Happily at the back of the pack
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Posted: 09/08/03 - 22:27 Post subject:
Keltic...I'm sending good thoughts and prayers your way. It takes a strong person to do what's right for them and their family even when it seems like the "wrong" thing to do. Over the past several months, your unhappiness in your marriage has been evident in your posts, as well as your love for your kids. I'm sure things will work out for you.
Since everyone else has your back, I'll be happy to walk by your side. (or you can toss me in front like a human shield if needed)
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