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runaroundsue
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 Posted: 10/16/03 - 13:11 Post subject:
I paid for my wedding while hubby was still in school. All invitations were for guests. In a family situation, I wrote out the individual names of the children. It meant for only a few coworkers and a few classmates as my immediate family is huge (10kids) and we could only afford 150 plates. I spent my entire savings...at least my dress was cheap. I'm still waiting for my honeymoon though 
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airehead
Oompa Loofah
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Posted: 10/16/03 - 13:16 Post subject:
| runaroundsue wrote: | | I paid for my wedding while hubby was still in school. All invitations were for guests. In a family situation, I wrote out the individual names of the children. It meant for only a few coworkers and a few classmates as my immediate family is huge (10kids) and we could only afford 150 plates. I spent my entire savings...at least my dress was cheap. I'm still waiting for my honeymoon though |
This was us exactly! We didn't register either because all our friends were as poor as we were! My dress was $150 and we just did finger foods. I had a small honeymoon. Someday I'd like a big one. But, we're still just as married. I think you have to decide your priorities.
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runaroundsue
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Posted: 10/16/03 - 13:19 Post subject:
ok....we debated that one.....I wanted examples. I'll give another
baby shower invite from the mom-to-be.....I live in WI and she lives in FL.
tacky or not?
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Molly600
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Posted: 10/16/03 - 13:20 Post subject:
Here's what Emily Post (etiquette guru) says:
Respect your invitation.
Do not ask your host or hostess if you can bring a date or your children. The invitation will be addressed to the people invited. If you may bring a guest, your invitation will read “Mr. John Phelps and guest.” If your children are invited, they will either receive their own personal invitations or their names will be listed under yours on the envelope. This is not the time to question your host’s decision, to argue or to beg for an exception. And, please, do not add their names to a reply card!
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Molly600
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Posted: 10/16/03 - 13:22 Post subject:
| runaroundsue wrote: | ok....we debated that one.....I wanted examples. I'll give another
baby shower invite from the mom-to-be.....I live in WI and she lives in FL.
tacky or not? |
That's questionable and depends on the situation. If there is obviously no way you are coming and you aren't a close relative, seems like asking for a gift (to me). If it's a close friend or relative and they know you are going to come, then that's a different story. I only invited out of town friends I knew would be coming to my showers because otherwise I felt like I was just asking them to send a gift.
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runaroundsue
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Posted: 10/16/03 - 13:24 Post subject:
| Molly600 wrote: | | runaroundsue wrote: | ok....we debated that one.....I wanted examples. I'll give another
baby shower invite from the mom-to-be.....I live in WI and she lives in FL.
tacky or not? |
That's questionable and depends on the situation. If there is obviously no way you are coming and you aren't a close relative, seems like asking for a gift (to me). If it's a close friend or relative and they know you are going to come, then that's a different story. I only invited out of town friends I knew would be coming to my showers because otherwise I felt like I was just asking them to send a gift. |
but isn't it a faux pas for a mom-to-be to have a shower for herself???
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Molly600
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Posted: 10/16/03 - 13:29 Post subject:
| runaroundsue wrote: | | Molly600 wrote: | | runaroundsue wrote: | ok....we debated that one.....I wanted examples. I'll give another
baby shower invite from the mom-to-be.....I live in WI and she lives in FL.
tacky or not? |
That's questionable and depends on the situation. If there is obviously no way you are coming and you aren't a close relative, seems like asking for a gift (to me). If it's a close friend or relative and they know you are going to come, then that's a different story. I only invited out of town friends I knew would be coming to my showers because otherwise I felt like I was just asking them to send a gift. |
but isn't it a faux pas for a mom-to-be to have a shower for herself??? |
Oh, yes, didn't get that as the deal...uh definitely tacky to throw yourself a shower no matter who you invite! 
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genie
Master of Prissface
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Posted: 10/16/03 - 13:41 Post subject:
| elkid wrote: | The bulk of you must've been fortunate to have someone pay for your wedding. I was not. To keep costs down (The Paramedic was in graduate school, so we had only my pitiful salary to work on) we invited guests for single people only if they'd been together for a while and were in a committed relationship. No one complained (at least to us) as they understood the situation. I also said no children, and the only person who complained was my cousin but I told her to stuff it 'cause I didn't like her anyway.
If you are the only invitee, you have a choice: either go as one, or don't go. It's in poor taste to ask the bride/groom to accommodate your "need" for a date, because they most assuredly considered that before they sent the invite out. |
I see your point there, and I guess I was also thinking of people who had been in a longer term relationship and were recognized as a couple, niot just any single person who'd have to dredge up a date. The couples I would have invited as you did. I also agree no children, other than the flower girl/ring bearer if you have them, for many reasons, most of all headcount/costs.
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cherylpf
crazy cat lady
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Posted: 10/16/03 - 13:52 Post subject:
Oh wedding ettiquette.  Is there a rule about how long you have to be completely out of touch with the bride to make it tacky to be invited to her wedding? don't think I'm not taking names of all the people I've shelled out gifts for and will send invites back their way when (if?) my time comes...
As for the guest thing, I kind of agree with Emily Post. I would hope that if you are good friends with the bride that she would know if you have a serious relationship and to add that person's name to the invitation. If you aren't in one and she is strapped for cash, I think its acceptable to send just one to 1 person, no guest, I have friends with these enormous families who got into that situation. So if you got an invitation for just you and you are married or whatnot, I think it is very reasonable to say no I'm not coming.
As for what Shelf says, weddings are a big date occasion, and I hope to be able to afford to invite "and guest" should the day arrive that I have a wedding...I know if I personally am not bringing a date, I make sure one of my other girlfriends will also be there to endure it with me.
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Sahara
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Posted: 10/16/03 - 14:19 Post subject:
Office wedding shower invitation...
Please come to So&So's baby shower! ...
So&So needs furniture, so I'm collecting $15 per person for a group gift certificate from IKEA.
I spoke to the host before the invitations went out because I was friendly with both host and bride. I told the host point blank it was tacky and that I would not contribute. She saw it as making it easy for the guests; they didn't have to go shopping because she was doing all the work. Different perspective but one that I totally disagree with.
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akern
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Posted: 10/16/03 - 15:07 Post subject:
Weddings suck. That's why I eloped. $400 was the total cost of my wedding.
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pokychick
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Posted: 10/16/03 - 15:10 Post subject:
| akern wrote: | | Weddings suck. That's why I eloped. $400 was the total cost of my wedding. |
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kattzoo
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Posted: 10/16/03 - 15:14 Post subject:
| pokychick wrote: | | akern wrote: | | Weddings suck. That's why I eloped. $400 was the total cost of my wedding. |
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Count me as another big fat I hate weddings. I hate having them, being in them, and going to them. Now receptions are a different story...
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runaroundsue
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Posted: 10/16/03 - 15:54 Post subject:
| Sahara wrote: | Office wedding shower invitation...
Please come to So&So's baby shower! ...
So&So needs furniture, so I'm collecting $15 per person for a group gift certificate from IKEA.
I spoke to the host before the invitations went out because I was friendly with both host and bride. I told the host point blank it was tacky and that I would not contribute. She saw it as making it easy for the guests; they didn't have to go shopping because she was doing all the work. Different perspective but one that I totally disagree with. |
I encountered the reverse. Coworker sent around a collection for a gift she bought. The contribution? $3. I said that I was going to buy my own gift for the couple as I planned to attend with my spouse. They said, "so are we" . They thought I was being cheap for not contributing. i think I finally gave them the $3 and ask them not to put my name on the card.
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purple hayes
Frightened Inmate #2
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Posted: 10/16/03 - 16:03 Post subject:
| akern wrote: | | Weddings suck. That's why I eloped. $400 was the total cost of my wedding. |
Total cost of reception :: 1 pony keg of beer, 5 bags of pretzels.
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