speaking of making mothers mad

crazy cat lady

This story boggles my mind. This girl is my age and I'm familiar with where she is from, went to college and where she went to later. I can't imagine doing this to my family.

http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/ssistory.mpl/front/3212371

June 6, 2005, 1:04AM

'Missing' student found — 7 years later
Aggie presumed dead was leading a new life while family mourned
By ANNE MARIE KILDAY

Copyright 2005 Houston Chronicle

When Texas Ranger Frank Malinak took Ann Dickenson's hand and told her there was news about her missing daughter, Dickenson feared the worst.

"I said, 'She's dead, isn't she?' " Dickenson recalled Sunday afternoon. "And he said, 'No, she is alive and well.' "

Brandi Stahr, now 27, disappeared from the campus of Texas A&M University in October 1998, shortly after her parents found out she had failed courses and stopped attending class. Although her parents feared she was dead, Stahr has been living and working in Florence, Ky.

Malinak, who had spent countless hours trying to find Stahr, told Dickenson: "I promised you I would never give up."

He didn't give up — but he did benefit from an anonymous tip. It came after Ann Dickenson confided to a friend in their small town that the family was considering having Stahr declared legally dead. They learned on May 25 that someone in Central Texas had called the missing persons hot line in Austin and reported that Stahr was in Kentucky.

Despite the seven painful years, Dickenson said, the first words she said to her daughter were: "I love you."

"Then she said, 'Momma, I love you,' " Dickenson said, her voice trembling. "And then she said the longer she was gone, the harder it was to pick up the phone."

After Stahr's falling out with her parents over grades, they told her to move back home to Moody and enroll at Baylor University.

She took off with just a few toiletries and an overnight bag, leaving behind a new computer, a state-of-the-art stereo, a nice TV and a walk-in closet filled with clothes.

Because the family had already taken back her car — a brand-new Mustang — they had no idea where she could be.

"Everyone assumed that she was dead, but she's not, thank God," said her stepfather, Ken Dickenson. "She has been working with the same company for five years and seems perfectly content."

Ann Dickenson said her youngest daughter was somewhat "spoiled."

"Spoiled rotten, in fact," Dickenson said.

"I blame some of this on the fact that I pretty much let her do what she pleased, but she wasn't a bad kid," said Ken Dickenson, who married Ann when Stahr was just 10. "I didn't have to be concerned about her at all,"

After she disappeared, police reassured them that young girls frequently run off and she'd eventually return. After a few weeks, however, Brazos County authorities and the Rangers started an intensive search.

Malinak, who has been on the case since the beginning, feared that Stahr might have been a victim of serial rapist and murderer Ynobe Matthews. Hours before Matthews' execution last year, the Ranger showed him Stahr's photo in hopes of a last-minute confession.

Ann Dickenson, who is taking medication for depression, even gave a sample of her DNA to a national registry in case her daughter's remains were found.

Since learning that her daughter is alive and well, Dickenson said she has fought the urge to feel anger.

"I thought I would like to shake her and ask her why in hell she had done things, not just to me, but to her sisters and her brothers.

"But the truth is, you love your children unconditionally. I am just so happy that she's alive," Dickenson said.

For the past five years, Ann Dickenson and her daughter Tammy have released balloons on Stahr's birthday — one for each year of her life, said Ken Dickenson.

And all of those years, she has been working at a Sam's Club in Florence, Ky. She is a department manager, has invested in a 401(k) retirement plan and owns stock options. She never changed her name and continued to use the same Social Security number.

That is a far different young woman than the 20-year-old college sophomore who stopped attending classes, starting drinking with a different group of friends, and "maxed out" credit cards, Ken Dickenson said.

Dickenson said the family relationship was "very strained" when he learned Stahr had failed the first semester of her sophomore year. Dickenson said he drove to College Station to confront her.

"We had her living in an apartment, with a phone and the whole nine yards. It turned out she wasn't even living there," Dickenson said.

Dickenson said a walk-in closet in the apartment was filled with dirty clothes.

"Instead of washing her clothes, she would just go out and buy something new," Dickenson said. He learned that Stahr had run up more than $25,000 in credit card debt.

"So I pulled the financial plug immediately. And she was determined that she was not going to come home and attend Baylor," Dickenson said.

Stahr has told her parents that she had some "overwhelming things happen in her life that she just couldn't deal with, so she left," Dickenson said.

Although Ann Dickenson and her other daughters have "a great deal of apprehension" about reuniting in Kentucky, Ken Dickenson is ready to go.

"We don't want to drive her away and have her go disappear again," Dickenson said. "We want to make sure it's OK with her. But I would say we'll do it within the next couple of weeks," Dickenson said.

News that Stahr is alive, published in the Waco and Bryan-College Station newspapers, has attracted nationwide attention, Dickenson said.

A producer from ABC TV's "Good Morning America" is trying to convince Ann Dickenson to reunite with her daughter in New York City, Ken Dickenson said.

Ann Dickenson was a little reluctant to go that far.

"I want her to know we don't expect her to come home," she said. "She's now 27 years old, she doesn't have to come back to Texas. She is happy, she has got her own life to live. And I want her to live it to the fullest."

Saccharomyces cerevisiae

crazy cat lady

Pyromaniac

This dingaling wins first prize. Good though that she's still alive.

AZhat

Oompa Loofah

They said that they didn't have access to IRS files in another article I read.

She's not doing so bad--she made it to management.

Before we judge too quickly we have no idea of the dynamic of the family and what she was trying to get away from. Maybe there were years of abuse and she finally had a melt down.

It sounds like the debt she rang up was a way of punishing her parents.

I am in no way defending her actions, but at the same time, not all parents are kind and loving behind closed doors.

crazy cat lady

Hipster Doofus

Hipster Doofus

Disregard - double post dunno

Frightened Inmate #2

Oompa Loofah

AZhat

I'm still stuck on the fact that she was not found with her SSN# still being used the entire time and that she did not change her identity! How did it not come up in any databases somewhere?? I know I get an annual report from the SS Dept. each year reporting my total earnings since I've ever had a paycheck...

HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN NOW????

The Pinball

7 years.

no wonder the mom is depressed. i'd have been committed by now, most likely past the point of any return. (as in...who's she? go away and leave me alone, you scary people) truly unimaginable pain from a parent's point of view, it's not something i really think i'd survive. Sad

Member

I don't think this is the same as Wilbanks. First of all, this woman never called the police to misrepresent herself. From what I gather, she didn't want them to look for her, so how can she be blamed for the fact that they did? We don't know that she never called her parents and said "stop the search." She's still telling them not to visit and they're not listening.

Sounds like life got better for her when she left.

Oompa Loofah

speaking of making mothers mad

LIFEFORM SOCIAL COMMUNITY NETWORK