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blue
your favorite weapon
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Joined: 21 May 2002
Posts: 7010
Location: armed and ambitious
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 Posted: 12/18/03 - 16:55 Post subject: so i'm thinking if i'm rudolph...
and it's christmas eve, and Santa and the other Reindeer finally decide i have a purpose other than being ridiculed - i'm saying "you make fun of me all year round cuz i got a shiney nose, look there's rudolph the freak with the glowing nose - don't want him playing our reindeer games. he could take someones eye out with that thing. well look who comes crawling back. i got news for you santa, i ain't haulin' your large festive ass all across the world. get yourself another reindeer, cuz i ain't saving christmas. put that in your jolly pipe and smoke it"
but i guess that's the price you pay when you want friends... acceptance is a b*tch.
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MechEngDropout
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Posted: 12/18/03 - 16:58 Post subject:
Is there a deeper meaning bloo? Please share, I love bad Christmas stories.
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brie k
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Posted: 12/18/03 - 17:53 Post subject:
If you were Rudolph, you'd be a girl. My evidence is as follows:
Truth About Reindeer
While both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summertime, according to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers until after they give birth in the spring.
Therefore, according to (most?) every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen had to be a girl.
We should've known. Only women would be able to drag a fat-a$$ man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.
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blue
your favorite weapon
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Joined: 21 May 2002
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Posted: 12/18/03 - 18:01 Post subject:
| brie k wrote: |
We should've known. Only women would be able to drag a fat-a$$ man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.
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while that may be true (rudolph is a girl) - i have a few holes in your story.
for one, if the magic of christmas were to be judged based on scientific theory, your theory falls apart right where the reindeer start flying.
now given that these are flying reindeer (one with a nose that glows), is it not possible that these are super reindeer, and that the males keep their antlers to produce "lift" for the sleigh?
secondly - no man in his right mind would have 8 women take him on a one night round the world trip. (think of all the pee breaks)
now given that santa does chain them all together, and does have a whip, maybe he's onto something. if, of course, they are all in fact female. 
and thirdly - how hard can it possibly be to go *everywhere* without getting lost. it's kind've hard to go to the wrong place when you have everywhere to go.
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BamBam
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Posted: 12/18/03 - 18:58 Post subject:
| brie k wrote: | If you were Rudolph, you'd be a girl. My evidence is as follows:
Truth About Reindeer
Therefore, according to (most?) every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen had to be a girl.
We should've known. Only women would be able to drag a fat-a$$ man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.
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sounds like the reindeer are Ho's to Santa's Pimp....what a inspiration to all the little girls out there.... 
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Floridaboiler
POTFH
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Joined: 18 May 2002
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Location: Jacksonville, Florida
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Posted: 12/18/03 - 19:06 Post subject:
| blue wrote: | | brie k wrote: |
We should've known. Only women would be able to drag a fat-a$$ man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.
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while that may be true (rudolph is a girl) - i have a few holes in your story.
for one, if the magic of christmas were to be judged based on scientific theory, your theory falls apart right where the reindeer start flying.
now given that these are flying reindeer (one with a nose that glows), is it not possible that these are super reindeer, and that the males keep their antlers to produce "lift" for the sleigh?
secondly - no man in his right mind would have 8 women take him on a one night round the world trip. (think of all the pee breaks)
now given that santa does chain them all together, and does have a whip, maybe he's onto something. if, of course, they are all in fact female.
and thirdly - how hard can it possibly be to go *everywhere* without getting lost. it's kind've hard to go to the wrong place when you have everywhere to go.
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 Way to go Blue!!!
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gretriever
Hipster Doofus
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Posted: 12/18/03 - 21:23 Post subject:
But, Blue,
IF all the reindeer are male, what reindeer parents are going to name their male offspring Vixen or Dancer? And who, other than maybe Liberace, would name their boy Prancer?
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Orange Bubble
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Posted: 12/18/03 - 23:25 Post subject:
| Floridaboiler wrote: | | blue wrote: | | brie k wrote: |
We should've known. Only women would be able to drag a fat-a$$ man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.
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while that may be true (rudolph is a girl) - i have a few holes in your story.
for one, if the magic of christmas were to be judged based on scientific theory, your theory falls apart right where the reindeer start flying.
now given that these are flying reindeer (one with a nose that glows), is it not possible that these are super reindeer, and that the males keep their antlers to produce "lift" for the sleigh?
secondly - no man in his right mind would have 8 women take him on a one night round the world trip. (think of all the pee breaks)
now given that santa does chain them all together, and does have a whip, maybe he's onto something. if, of course, they are all in fact female.
and thirdly - how hard can it possibly be to go *everywhere* without getting lost. it's kind've hard to go to the wrong place when you have everywhere to go.
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Way to go Blue!!! |
I second that. What a great comeback to brie's also very wonderful response. Kudos!
Now let's discuss this stuff about pee breaks.... 
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Noley
AZhat
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Posted: 12/19/03 - 00:41 Post subject:
| gretriever wrote: | But, Blue,
IF all the reindeer are male, what reindeer parents are going to name their male offspring Vixen or Dancer? And who, other than maybe Liberace, would name their boy Prancer?
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I think you forgot to add Cupid to this list.
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blue
your favorite weapon
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Joined: 21 May 2002
Posts: 7010
Location: armed and ambitious
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Posted: 12/19/03 - 02:06 Post subject:
| gretriever wrote: | But, Blue,
IF all the reindeer are male, what reindeer parents are going to name their male offspring Vixen or Dancer? And who, other than maybe Liberace, would name their boy Prancer?
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clearly they are *code* names. for the protection of their families and the sake of the operation they must live double lives.
wouldn't christmas just go to hell in a handbasket if they ever kidnapped comet or cupid and held them for ransom?
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gretriever
Hipster Doofus
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Joined: 16 Jul 2003
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Location: A moving target in a firing range.
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Posted: 12/19/03 - 08:55 Post subject:
| nolefan85 wrote: | | gretriever wrote: | But, Blue,
IF all the reindeer are male, what reindeer parents are going to name their male offspring Vixen or Dancer? And who, other than maybe Liberace, would name their boy Prancer?
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I think you forgot to add Cupid to this list. |
Cupid (the original arrow-tosser) was, in theory, a male.
Or so I've been told. Hence the phrase "I'm With Cupid."
(I will escort myself to the penalty box)
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