re: body image, what if your child...

Member

is getting chubby? What do you do? How do you handle it?

My daughter, as most of you know, is 11, turns 12 in May. Up until lets say 10, she was a thin kid. Tall and thin. Now she's chunking out. I just bought her jeans today at Old Navy, and they're 16s. Kid 16s, but still. I'm just at a loss here. We talk about healthy eating habits, and my little snacker is opting more and more for raw veggies and such (I've quit buying candy, but valentines day didn't help moderate as I was), and she is getting on the treadmill here and there. She isn't into sports, and I'm not of the mind (or the pocketbook for that matter) to force her into something she doesn't want to do. I wasn't athletically inclined in school either, so I get that.

Part of me thinks it is just the winter, the kids being in all the time and not getting much exercise. Plus, she went from PE almost every day in grade school (or at least recess where she ran around with her friends) to PE every other day last semester (no recess in Middle school) and this semester she doesn't even have PE. (It's an elective, I didn't know that or just wasn't paying attn when we were doing classes last year, urg, my fault).

I just don't know what to say and do other than gentle nudging, without getting to carried away on the whole appearance thing. That IS part of it. I remember how cruel classmates are, so I don't want her to be that "fat girl" (a word I never use, incidentally, fat) and I don't want her to have self esteem issues either. The other thing is that her father's side of the family (maternal) are all overweight, including my husband. So I worry that she has a genetic predisposition. Plus there are the health concerns. So many issues for a young kid.

Getting jeans today was really hard on her. We were thinking she'd be in 14s, and she was just beside herself when those didn't fit. I just didn't know what to say or do, other than go find jeans that would fit. I hate to get started on this conversation with her because I don't want to contribute to whatever weight issues she will have later on (or now) in life...

I will discuss this with my therapist and her ped, but wanted to get some input from all you as well.

TIA.

Excelent

Perhaps it could be the winter, spring is just around the corner. If I were in your situation, I would encourage her and the rest of the kids get active in sports (if they already aren't) or other outdoor type activity.

Member

VERY slowly and "sneakily" get her involved in doing some walking, say after you do you run maybe she would join you for a "cool down" walk ? Perhaps she could pace you with her bike ?

I do think you're right. With the nice weather coming soon there will be more outside time and time to keep active. Let's not forget there's lots of things happening inside that body right now too. Funny this reminds me about our neighbors - for many years their daughter was, putting it nicely, chubby. I saw her last year, she had lost about 50 lbs. Her mom said it was a change of diet and activity level.

Member

Walk around the block with her. Buy her a yoga DVD. Use words like 'fitness' and 'health' and not 'weight' and 'size'. Get rid of all the sh!t food in your house, if you have any. If the choice is between chips and an apple, or just an apple, the apple will win.

Flailing Homosapiens

Ahh, I did the same thing. Her hormones are kicking in and her metabolism is changing. Add that to alot of her social events as a teenager will be food-oriented.

I don't know what to tell you as I resented the fact that my mother would make comments about my weight etc.

Is there a pool nearby? Perhaps some family swims will help.

Kermitologist

yup, puberty is knocking on the door... and i wonder if, maybe shes ready to start wearing junior size clothes...thats about the age i started wearing "teenager" sizes, and i do remember chunking out abit when i was in middle school.

and mabe since its (hopefully) starting to get nice, maybe you can do a 'family' walk around the block or something on the weekends, or get all the kidlets to help with yard work. digging, planting, mulching, etc is fun, the kids have an excuse to get dirty and everyone will be active...

good for you not to want to force her into doing anything shes not interested in... good luck!

Flailing Homosapiens

You know. I didn't read that part where she was beside herself that the 14's didn't fit. She may motivate herself, as she's getting to the age where she notices things about people. family included, and may make the concious choice to be fit.

Gone Fishin

A few things.. don't take this the wrong way, but I'm one of those "fix-it" kind of guys. You can't depend on school for PE to help with weight. In your mind, figure she's at zero exercise and it's all up to you. Another is to not provide any kind of mental "excuse" that her genetics give her a predisposition. Once she has that ghost in her head, it'll become a battle. Disconnect her body image from her family and give her the mental power to become the shape she wants. And another thing is you're the parent and you CAN control the food. Even if it's Valentine's Day or any other holiday, toss it. We do. And we do it often. It'll get a few glares from Grandma, but once they hear you tossed the candy the day after they left, they'll get the message. Finally, you've got to take the horns and get her off the couch. Take her on long walks or bikes to do errands together. Make plans to go to park programs and go on hikes with naturalists. Get a family membership to a fitness center and get her there alongside you. Maybe it's just a "dad" mentality, but I have no qualms about being "overbearing". Whatever it takes to turn the tide, it's up to you...keep us posted, I'm interested how it goes. Smile

Member

It is normal for a girl for a girl to chub up before she hits puberty. That's not to say it is not good, like always, to make healthy eating and exercise a part of her life, but I wouldn't worry too much that she's putting on some extra weight right now. She is supposed to.

It's really hard to deal with all those body image issues in young girls, isn't it? Our daughter is turning 10, and I can see some of it hitting already. We try not to make weight an issue, but I know sooner or later it will be for her. I also know that if we start talking too much about healthy eating and exercise, she's smart enough to figure out that there is a concern about her weight.

I don't know what the answer is. I think all we can do as parents is make sure we have healthy foods available for them without trying to control every bite they take, provide opportunities for exercise without pushing and hope for the best. The example you've given her over the years of a healthy life-style will go a long way.

Member

when i was young...i was usually skinny skinny. however, just before a growth spurt, i chunked up a bit, grew taller and became skinny again.
As I grew older (after 30) I chunked up and chunked up. Im not any taller tho

The Pinball

why do i think this is just around the corner for me Neutral

tough stuff Brie. good advice so far. think i'll just listen and learn here.

Member

Good advice from everyone, I thank you all.

Our first obvious step is to get the family out and start walking around the neighborhood. I think I'm also going to put an end to snacking. I'm a grazer myself, choosing healthy foods more often than not, but I'm not sure it's good for the kids to be grazers at this young age, regardless what they're eating. I don't think any of the kids have a concept of hunger, they just eat whenever, and I think Libby often eats because she's bored.

I've thought about buying a smallish pool (not too small, the $400 one at walmart that is quite large, inflatable) for the kids for the summertime. I'm trying to decide if it's worth the investment and worry that invariably will follow. Time to get Will back into swimming lessons and start Jake.

Anyhoo. Thanks everyone. I understand that part of Libby's growth is due to the whole puberty thing beginning, it just seems like a lot of growth though, a bit too much. I will speak to the ped about it.

Fresh, Hot & Wild

When I started 6th grade I was wearing 16s as well and I had chunked up a LOT. I also started my period that year. I also needed a bra.

I was heavily involved in dance (ballet and tap-3 hrs a night 3 days a week), so lack of exercise wasn't really the issue. I also had PE everyday (which I absolutely hated and still do till this day).

I wore a 4-6 throughout my middle school/high school years until I went to college, when my thyroid crapped out.

I would chalk it up to hormones, but it wouldn't hurt to have it checked out with her doctor. I also quit growing taller that year and a few other things were the starting triggers of my thyroid disease. Make sure he checks it and that it's functioning normally.

my boys could swim

Brie,

That's a tough one. My kids are all pretty much thin as a rail, so I have no personal perspective for you on this one.

Sounds like you have gotten some good advice here. I think the winter thing probably has something to do with it. Make sure that she is active at home...I find that, as a PE teacher...some parents(and I'm pointing no fingers here) think that the time they spend in PE should be all they need to keep them healthy. This is just not true. It needs to be done much more than in class.

re: body image, what if your child...

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