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cherylpf
crazy cat lady
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 17305
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 Posted: 02/07/05 - 17:38 Post subject: parents and health
I'm the kid and the baby on top of that. Yet, I treat my parents like the kids though when it comes to their health. Anyone else do this? My sisters don't, just me. My mom is going in for a pretty big surgery this week and I worry. Its like they know what they should or shouldn't do, but don't follow them. To them, its almost like our health (us kids') is more important than theirs, they are not their own priority. I am pretty sure my mom isn't anticipating the recovery that she'll need, so I was just lecturing my parents "No carrying anvils up the stairs mom!" essentially, because if an anvil needed to be carried up the stairs, she would, doctors orders or no. They sort of laugh at me "oh cheryl" but I'm being serious. I plan to stay at their house quite a bit in the next few weeks...we have the oddest relationship. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one like this too.
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airehead
Oompa Loofah
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Joined: 12 Nov 2002
Posts: 18788
Location: Between here and eternity...
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Posted: 02/07/05 - 17:44 Post subject:
I'm the same way with my parents. I'm always the one that goes for their surgeries and I stay after for their recuperation. I talk to their docs and their church to stay on top of things.
I love them and want to do for them as much as I can.
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phillycat
Member
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Joined: 14 Jul 2004
Posts: 1953
Location: Da hood
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Posted: 02/07/05 - 17:45 Post subject:
I go through the exact same thing with my Mom, but my sisters do the same thing. My mother never takes things seriously when it comes to her health. Now that my sisters and I are on her, she is always telling us how great she feels and how everything is fine. Just the other day she was telling me how she was up on a ladder washing the kitchen walls....this is my Mom who is 76 with severe Parkinson's. 
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cherylpf
crazy cat lady
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Joined: 14 May 2002
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Posted: 02/07/05 - 17:50 Post subject:
| phillycat wrote: | | Now that my sisters and I are on her, she is always telling us how great she feels and how everything is fine. |
My mother too, its like she's on to us, so she plays up the healthy act. My sisters will say some things, but they usually call me to talk to them if they are really worried.
I feel for you and your family and Parkinson's, we went through that for 13 years with my grandfather.
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phillycat
Member
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Joined: 14 Jul 2004
Posts: 1953
Location: Da hood
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Posted: 02/07/05 - 17:52 Post subject:
| cherylpf wrote: |
My mother too, its like she's on to us, so she plays up the healthy act. My sisters will say some things, but they usually call me to talk to them if they are really worried.
I feel for you and your family and Parkinson's, we went through that for 13 years with my grandfather. |
I think the best advice that I can give is to have an agreement with their doctors so that you can call the doctors directly and find out what is going on. My one sister has this agreement with my Mom's primary care doctor which is very important because my Mom gets things all mixed up.
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Maddies Wench
Flailing Homosapiens
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Joined: 12 Jun 2003
Posts: 6103
Location: Seeking out the poorer quarters where the ragged people go.
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Posted: 02/07/05 - 18:26 Post subject:
My mother is as healthy as a horse as far as I know. But then, I doubt she would tell me if she was going in for surgery except to make some flippant comment about her being worth more to me dead than alive.
We're "keep it to yourself" people for the most part, but since my sister has some personality disorder that caused her to orphan herself at an early age, when the call comes it will be to me.
I don't even know where my sister is. 
Good thing I have friends huh?
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msparks
Member
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Joined: 13 Nov 2003
Posts: 3182
Location: Jammin' at the Frim Fram, Frippin' in the Krotz
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Posted: 02/07/05 - 18:55 Post subject: Re: parents and health
...and I worry. Its like they know what they should or shouldn't do, but don't follow them. To them, its almost like our health (us kids') is more important than theirs, they are not their own priority.
Well, look who just caught on! 
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Ms. Jenn
Fresh, Hot & Wild
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Joined: 14 Feb 2004
Posts: 7935
Location: Suite 550
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Posted: 02/07/05 - 22:43 Post subject:
Although we suspected my mother had emphysema for years, she had personally known for 3 years before the family found out (including my dad). He only found out when he had taken her to the ER and he heard the ER doc say "You have Empysema...babble, babble", and Mom says "I know that. Dr. Biddle told me three years ago" 
Parents. PITA.
I have one thing to say to you Cheryl, your parents raised a fine child and continue doing what you're doing. You can NEVER care too much for your parents. Unless of course they're certified assclowns, which I seriously doubt yours are.
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andydp
Member
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Joined: 23 Sep 2003
Posts: 8122
Location: Upstate NY near Albany
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Posted: 02/08/05 - 09:12 Post subject:
My mom is 86 ye4ars old and has several medical issues. She takes over 20 pills a day. As the only child I'm the one getting her to MD offices and visits. She currently lives in an assisted housing facility near me.
I can't say I have had problems getting my mom to keep up with her health now or before. She was very conscious of her health and maintained it. My dad on the other hand did not follow his health too well.
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runaroundsue
Member
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Joined: 18 Sep 2002
Posts: 6629
Location: supporting GREENer pastures
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Posted: 02/08/05 - 11:29 Post subject:
My parents run to the doctor for my dad's needs on a dime.....my mom will just let it go.....I get pissed at my dad for not prodding her a little. When the family finally convinces her to see her doctor, my dad won't accompany her. Yet, she go with him to all his doctor appointments (and between his eyes, heart, diabetes.....there are alot). Of course we KNOW it will never change, this is the guy that dropped my mom off at the hospital when she was in labor and then drove to work.
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