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Noley
AZhat
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Joined: 16 Aug 2003
Posts: 10494
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 Posted: 07/01/05 - 08:11 Post subject: new perspective...
I'm going to post something that's more on the personal side for me. I just feel like sharing this, because sometimes we get lost in what we feel is important...not important. Sometimes the drama we produce is not really a huge production like we tend to think it is. I'm guilty of this.
My Stepfather:
My stepfather has always had poor vision since I've known him. In '77 he started his first series of eye operations to remove cateracs from his 39 year old eyes...YOUNG!
By '83...he lost vision in left eye entirely due to a tear in his retna.
In '84...he nearly lost vision in his right eye due to the same thing. They fixed it, but he had terrible vision from that time on. However, he could drive, see to read, watch TV, see people, etc.
Winter '05 it was discovered that his one good eye was deteriorating and there was a hole in his retna. Doctors had to operate, no matter what, to see if they could save his vision. Unfortunately, the operation did not work. Just weeks after the surgery, he learned that he would not see ever again.
With all that I've been dealing with, this was a blow to me that I could not take on. I just got here to see him for the first time and now I'm dealing with it as best as I can. The first thing I'm learning is that he's in good spirits and is coping the best he can. Now that I am here, it's very hard for me to see him in this state. He no longer can drive, watch tv, read, get around independently, etc. He's trying many things that are admirable. Goes to the workout room and walks on the TM. Takes out the trash for my mom. Has found paths to get around the house. Getting assistance to learn how to live blind.
The Touching Side:
My children are here in Florida and know Grandpa cannot see. It's hard for them to understand it, but they know. Grandpa is so great to reassure them and here's how...
Nole1: "Hi, grandpa!"...hugs when we first got here.
Grandpa: "Nole 1...my how tall you are!" as he hugged her.
Nole2: (while jumping in the pool) "Grandpa, I can make a big splash...watch!"
Grandpa: "Wow Nole2...that splash was really big!"
Nole3: (showing grandpa a picture he colored) "Look at the Spider Man picture I colored grandpa"
Grandpa: "That sure it a nice picture Nole 3" (as he held it to his face pretending to see it.
I don't know? I feel so terrible, but am humbled by my stepfather's kindness to my children to reassure them. He cannot see what the little Noles are doing, but he comforts them all the same...to be a good Grandpa. This is very hard for me to see and experience. He's always been very good to me and I know that he's coping with a lot.
I've had my woes as of late, but this puts an entirely new perspective on things. I see life in an entirely new way. I'm fortunate to be able to see. He can see so much too...just in a different way.
Thanks for reading.
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Cappy
Excelent
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Joined: 16 May 2002
Posts: 27368
Location: Spreadsheetylvania
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Posted: 07/01/05 - 08:14 Post subject:
Very nice, you Stepdad, sounds like a great man
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Dancer
Member
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Joined: 21 Nov 2002
Posts: 2518
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Posted: 07/01/05 - 08:21 Post subject:
Makes all the little troubles in everyday life not seem so important anymore.
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JACKED UP
PRESIDENT
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Joined: 06 Jun 2003
Posts: 21238
Location: www.johnnydu.com
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Posted: 07/01/05 - 08:22 Post subject:
Hugs to you. A reminder that we shouldn't sweat the small stuff. He is a great man. 
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Maddies Wench
Flailing Homosapiens
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Joined: 12 Jun 2003
Posts: 6103
Location: Seeking out the poorer quarters where the ragged people go.
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Posted: 07/01/05 - 08:25 Post subject:
I'm looking at the coolness factor of it.
He can tell who's speaking by their voice.
He can tell who he's hugging by size? Smell?
He's not. wallowing. in. it.
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j1miller
Puppy Love!
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Joined: 07 Jul 2002
Posts: 15447
Location: Lost on trail.
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Posted: 07/01/05 - 08:39 Post subject:
Very touching. Family are just the best. Hold yours tight, Noley.
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keltic63
the kilted one
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Joined: 17 May 2002
Posts: 8574
Location: under the weather
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Posted: 07/01/05 - 08:44 Post subject:
a good friend of mine is blind; I've noticed that we are the ones who have more trouble with the irony of a blind person saying something like "I see" when what we mean is "I Understand". You eventually get used to that kind of thing. Your kids are responding well too, by not adjusting their behavior around him. that's a good thing. Yes, very touching, indeed. Go back to visit in a year, see what the training has done. I'm sure he'll be doing great!
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jrjo
Gone Fishin
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 16451
Location: Lake Wobegon, MN
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Posted: 07/01/05 - 09:52 Post subject:
He doesn't need to 'see' to have a chance to 'see' his grandkids. Those little noleys are probably giving him the best days he's had in a long time. Good story NF!
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thegman
Member
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Joined: 23 Sep 2002
Posts: 3088
Location: 12 yards out.
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Posted: 07/01/05 - 23:07 Post subject:
| jrjo wrote: | | He doesn't need to 'see' to have a chance to 'see' his grandkids. Those little noleys are probably giving him the best days he's had in a long time. Good story NF! |
I thought the same thing. I expect he can see them very clearly in his mind's eye.
I'd also bet he'd tell you that he doesn't need to see them to enjoy having them, and you, there.
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Floridaboiler
POTFH
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Joined: 18 May 2002
Posts: 11322
Location: Jacksonville, Florida
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Posted: 07/01/05 - 23:11 Post subject:
| Dancer wrote: | | Makes all the little troubles in everyday life not seem so important anymore. |
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Sahara
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Posted: 07/01/05 - 23:25 Post subject:
I'm in tears from reading your post. My 79 yo father has macular degeneration. He had to give up his beloved golf with his buddies last summer because he just couldn't see the ball anymore. His vision has progressively gotten worse since mid-winter when "floaters" developed. He gave up golfing with his buddies last summer because he couldn't see to hit or follow the ball. Every few months, though, he heads to the driving range solo just to see if he can hit any balls.
He and my mother are on a three week vacation to visit the Michigan farm he grew up on (my cousins now run it), visit his remaining brother & sister as well as other relatives, and take the ferry across the lake to Milwaukee to visit my brother & family. He told me that he may not have the ability to drive that way again and to be able to see these places and people. Much like your stepfather, he's such an amazing man. Not at all dwelling on difficulties nor brooding about changes but enjoying the things he always has as well as moving forward to experience things in a different way. I'm strong around him only because he's so strong himself. I'm a fortunate daughter to have him. How wonderful, too, for you and your children to have your stepfather in your lives.
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gretriever
Hipster Doofus
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Joined: 16 Jul 2003
Posts: 19385
Location: A moving target in a firing range.
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Posted: 07/02/05 - 07:31 Post subject:
| jrjo wrote: | | He doesn't need to 'see' to have a chance to 'see' his grandkids. Those little noleys are probably giving him the best days he's had in a long time. Good story NF! |
And he doesn't need to 'see' to know how much his stepdaughter loves him. He knows.
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