need your partying opinions
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karlene
Canadian Bacon
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Joined: 17 Oct 2005
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 Posted: 05/22/06 - 10:10 Post subject:
| Library Chick wrote: | | Since he's been out a couple of years, it's possible that he's been in similar situations since then. And if he hasn't, at least he'll be surrounded by family to help support him rather then with a group of friends who may not be aware of his past, or are too busy partying to care. |
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keltic63
the kilted one
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Joined: 17 May 2002
Posts: 8574
Location: under the weather
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Posted: 05/22/06 - 10:11 Post subject:
| rolling rock wrote: | | keltic63 wrote: | | I'm still going to slice this down the middle: is he recently out of treatment? then maybe I'd consider going non-alcoholic for the party. are we talking 6 months sober? I'd serve the alcohol, knowing that if he really wanted it he could get it on his own anyway, and having it at your party is no more of a temptation than stopping at the bar down the street. |
true dat.
it's been a couple years i think, since he stopped completely. |
and if he went through AA, or some other program, I'm sure they discussed the very situation you describe, and gave him the tools to deal with it.
Serve up the Beer!
oh, and what time should I be there?
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rolling rock
The Pinball
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Joined: 15 May 2002
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Location: unknown zone
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Posted: 05/22/06 - 10:13 Post subject:
i hate to get petty and bitter but if i had a dime for every dang party we've been to over the last 15 years that had "forbidden" food for my son, i'd practically be trump....that kid's life has been about denial and resistance and he's done a great job of it, starting at age 3....
i mean, i've never ever been to one halloween, homeroom, Christmas, july 4th, valentines day, birthday, graduation, whatever party when the host said "oh, out of respect for your son, we aren't serving cake or cookies or candy or anything at all with any hint of sugar in it" 
guess i just answered my own question.
i really appreciated your input everyone....it makes me more comfortable with the decision too.
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Kimba90
Member
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Joined: 03 Dec 2003
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Posted: 05/22/06 - 10:38 Post subject:
MY FIL and BIL are both alcoholics. When FIL was first going through treatment, we didn't have beer at the family gatherings.
He's been sober about 9 years and BIL about 5, and we have beer and wine at events again. Although any leftovers are to go home with someone.
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Ms. Jenn
Fresh, Hot & Wild
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Joined: 14 Feb 2004
Posts: 7935
Location: Suite 550
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Posted: 05/22/06 - 13:36 Post subject:
He's going to have to learn to resist sometime. Might as well start now.
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airehead
Oompa Loofah
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Joined: 12 Nov 2002
Posts: 18788
Location: Between here and eternity...
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Posted: 05/22/06 - 14:58 Post subject:
| rolling rock wrote: | i hate to get petty and bitter but if i had a dime for every dang party we've been to over the last 15 years that had "forbidden" food for my son, i'd practically be trump....that kid's life has been about denial and resistance and he's done a great job of it, starting at age 3....
i mean, i've never ever been to one halloween, homeroom, Christmas, july 4th, valentines day, birthday, graduation, whatever party when the host said "oh, out of respect for your son, we aren't serving cake or cookies or candy or anything at all with any hint of sugar in it"
guess i just answered my own question.
i really appreciated your input everyone....it makes me more comfortable with the decision too. |
When I cooked or set up parties for my office, I tried to remember who was diabetic or had other dietary restrictions. (I made sure the chicken/beef/pork dishes were kept far apart--we had one Muslim)
Personally, I agree with everyone here. Serve what you would normally serve. It is good to be treated like a normal human being and not a child. He will appreciate not being singled out. Plus, being around peeps gives him a form of accountability.
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purple hayes
Frightened Inmate #2
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 14462
Location: ON YOUR LEFT!
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Posted: 05/22/06 - 14:59 Post subject:
What about the lactose intolerant? 
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airehead
Oompa Loofah
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Posted: 05/22/06 - 15:01 Post subject:
| purple hayes wrote: | | What about the lactose intolerant? |
Soda has no lactose.
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rolling rock
The Pinball
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Joined: 15 May 2002
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Posted: 05/22/06 - 15:02 Post subject:
| airehead wrote: | | rolling rock wrote: | i hate to get petty and bitter but if i had a dime for every dang party we've been to over the last 15 years that had "forbidden" food for my son, i'd practically be trump....that kid's life has been about denial and resistance and he's done a great job of it, starting at age 3....
i mean, i've never ever been to one halloween, homeroom, Christmas, july 4th, valentines day, birthday, graduation, whatever party when the host said "oh, out of respect for your son, we aren't serving cake or cookies or candy or anything at all with any hint of sugar in it"
guess i just answered my own question.
i really appreciated your input everyone....it makes me more comfortable with the decision too. |
When I cooked or set up parties for my office, I tried to remember who was diabetic or had other dietary restrictions. (I made sure the chicken/beef/pork dishes were kept far apart--we had one Muslim)
Personally, I agree with everyone here. Serve what you would normally serve. It is good to be treated like a normal human being and not a child. He will appreciate not being singled out. Plus, being around peeps gives him a form of accountability. |
and that'd make you one thoughtful person 
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j1miller
Puppy Love!
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Joined: 07 Jul 2002
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Location: Lost on trail.
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Posted: 05/22/06 - 15:02 Post subject:
Just do what you normally do.
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rolling rock
The Pinball
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Posted: 05/22/06 - 15:03 Post subject:
| purple hayes wrote: | | What about the lactose intolerant? |
lactaid for them
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purple hayes
Frightened Inmate #2
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Posted: 05/22/06 - 15:03 Post subject:
| airehead wrote: | | purple hayes wrote: | | What about the lactose intolerant? |
Soda has no lactose. |
Phenylketonurics?
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airehead
Oompa Loofah
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Joined: 12 Nov 2002
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Posted: 05/22/06 - 15:04 Post subject:
| rolling rock wrote: | | airehead wrote: | | rolling rock wrote: | i hate to get petty and bitter but if i had a dime for every dang party we've been to over the last 15 years that had "forbidden" food for my son, i'd practically be trump....that kid's life has been about denial and resistance and he's done a great job of it, starting at age 3....
i mean, i've never ever been to one halloween, homeroom, Christmas, july 4th, valentines day, birthday, graduation, whatever party when the host said "oh, out of respect for your son, we aren't serving cake or cookies or candy or anything at all with any hint of sugar in it"
guess i just answered my own question.
i really appreciated your input everyone....it makes me more comfortable with the decision too. |
When I cooked or set up parties for my office, I tried to remember who was diabetic or had other dietary restrictions. (I made sure the chicken/beef/pork dishes were kept far apart--we had one Muslim)
Personally, I agree with everyone here. Serve what you would normally serve. It is good to be treated like a normal human being and not a child. He will appreciate not being singled out. Plus, being around peeps gives him a form of accountability. |
and that'd make you one thoughtful person |
It was hard because we had one guy who had ballooned up past 300lbs and we tried to make diet/light dishes, due to a heart condition, but he would still sneak bad stuff, too.
Could you pm me some birthday ideas for diabetics? (Dessert stuff)
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keltic63
the kilted one
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Joined: 17 May 2002
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Posted: 05/22/06 - 15:04 Post subject:
don't forget to include Bean-O as a condiment!
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Gogirlgo
Member
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Joined: 25 Jul 2002
Posts: 4777
Location: No deal, stalker.
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Posted: 05/22/06 - 19:01 Post subject:
I worked with a woman in recovery. And one time, after she'd been a recoverer for at least 10 years, things at the job were getting very harsh. And there was an event she wasn't attending and I asked her why, and she said b/c she was really stressed, and she knew there'd be alcohol there, and she was so stressed she might be tempted to drink so wasn't going.
Even though your relative has been out for a while now, you might still let him know there will be alcohol there just in case he's in a tough place right now. But I'd do it like this: Hi, Bill. (But only say that if his name is actually Bill.) We're so looking forward to having you come to the party, and I just wondered what you'd prefer we have on hand for you." That way he knows it won't be the only thing there (ie there will be alcohol) and he gets whatever he likes.
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