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coachmarkos
my boys could swim
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 Posted: 07/25/05 - 23:07 Post subject: my wife is leaving the church
thoughts? 
She recently read "The DaVinci Code" and upon finishing it, told me she was thinking about leaving the church, because it was built on lies.
And then, yesterday, in church, she refused to go to communion, and afterwards told me she is leaving the church.
I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. She was not raised in the church her mother did not take them to church or CCD classes. She got confirmed in the church exactly one week before we were married.
She hasn't mentioned joining another faith, or anything like that...so I'm like
Believe me, I know the Catholic Church isn't perfect, and I'm not a hard line Catholic by any means. But I kind of like the tradition of the church, and want my children to share my faith.
like I said, thoughts?
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Noley
AZhat
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Posted: 07/26/05 - 00:48 Post subject:
Is she leaving the church and insisting to take the children out of it as well? Clarify that.
IMO. If she feels that she needs to explore other churches and places to find a place with religion...let her. I understand if she wants to do this and that should be her call. However, discuss with her your views on how the children are going to be raised. It's important to do that. If she agrees to leave them in the Catholic church, I bet she'll agree to have them go through all the things you want them to. If not, you'll have to reach a common ground on what you want to do. Get that?
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Pug
The Movie Geek
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Posted: 07/26/05 - 07:42 Post subject:
Leaving the Catholic Church specifically or leaving Christianity in general?
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robp
Pyromaniac
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Posted: 07/26/05 - 07:59 Post subject:
Being an agnostic who was raised somewhat Catholic, I say it's no big deal. My personal belief is that organized religion is a big crock. But that's just me and I don't think too many people hold that opinion.
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camelia bedelia
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Posted: 07/26/05 - 08:13 Post subject:
Did she join the Church for you? Maybe her heart just wasn't in it all along. I'm guessing she has been thinking about this for a while and the DaVinci code was just the thing that made her act on it. Better that she be true to her beliefs and maybe have a chance to figure out what she does believe than to go through the motions to keep everyone else happy. If she doesn't mind the kids being raised Catholic, it's not a big problem, is it?
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TOsteve
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Posted: 07/26/05 - 08:57 Post subject:
| Pug wrote: | | Leaving the Catholic Church specifically or leaving Christianity in general? |
Good question Pug. Is she having a crisis of faith or merely a disillusionment with institutional religion? Or are the two issues interwoven?
I went through a struggle in my faith in my early to mid 20's. When I learned to separate my faith in Christ from what I saw going on in many in church organizations it really helped.
Like your wife, my first reaction to my crisis of faith was to pull myself away from both God and the church but I soon realized that I was constantly fighting with myself to maintain the distance that I thought was necessary. Watch for this in her and gently encourage her if you see signs of this struggle. Through the patient support and encouragement of my spouse I eventually came to the understanding that I still needed both in my life.
I now have found a peace knowing that my faith is in Christ and that faith finds its human expression on earth in the church. Its true that sometimes that the 'human expression' gets bogged down in 'human weakness' but I'm blessed to have also found a group of believers who really desire to see Christ elevated in their lives and who want avoid the pitfalls of human frailty.
It would be refreshing if modern day churches had more of John the Baptist's attitude toward their ministries. When John was questioned about the fact that Christ had more disciples than he did his response was simple yet profound:
"He must increase, but I must decrease." John 3:30
Faith must increase and religious institutionalism must decrease. I'm rambling a bit but hopefully you find some value in what I've said. 
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kobyj
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Posted: 07/26/05 - 09:21 Post subject:
I have thought about it a few times. There are some things about the Catholic church that bug me, but I like how it is uniform and universal.
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cherylpf
crazy cat lady
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Posted: 07/26/05 - 09:24 Post subject:
| camelia bedelia wrote: | | Did she join the Church for you? Maybe her heart just wasn't in it all along. I'm guessing she has been thinking about this for a while and the DaVinci code was just the thing that made her act on it. Better that she be true to her beliefs and maybe have a chance to figure out what she does believe than to go through the motions to keep everyone else happy. If she doesn't mind the kids being raised Catholic, it's not a big problem, is it? |
Kind of my thoughts. She needs to find what works for herself. My only concern is if her motivation is a work of fiction. Which, the book may not be the primary motivation for this.
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rolling rock
The Pinball
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Posted: 07/26/05 - 09:32 Post subject:
| TOsteve wrote: |
When I learned to separate my faith in Christ from what I saw going on in many in church organizations it really helped.
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disheartening to say the least at least for me it was, it is and it will probably always be.
a good friend of mine told me "faith is a journey" and i really found that to be comforting and true.
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coachmarkos
my boys could swim
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Posted: 07/26/05 - 09:40 Post subject:
she seems to think the book is the greatest thing since sliced bread.
She got confirmed to marry me, but she was already baptised in the church.
Alot of what you say is true, and I think she'll allow the kids to be raised in the church.
She says she's leaving the Catholic church, and not Christianity. Although she has been to no other churchs, said any prayers, or done anything remotely connected to religon/faith.
She's pretty much agnostic. She doesn't think she is, but she is.
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cherylpf
crazy cat lady
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Posted: 07/26/05 - 09:44 Post subject:
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camelia bedelia
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Posted: 07/26/05 - 09:53 Post subject:
| coachmarkos wrote: |
She says she's leaving the Catholic church, and not Christianity. Although she has been to no other churchs, said any prayers, or done anything remotely connected to religon/faith.
She's pretty much agnostic. She doesn't think she is, but she is. |
Growing up Catholic, and knowing what a powerful hold the Church can have on you, I think you have to make a break from Catholicism before you can really explore anything else. But maybe "her thing" will be to not follow a religion, or even a god. Is that okay with you?
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marathonrnr262
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Posted: 07/26/05 - 10:16 Post subject:
| robp wrote: | | Being an agnostic , I say it's no big deal. My personal belief is that organized religion is a big crock. But that's just me and I don't think too many people hold that opinion. |
Someone pick me up off the floor, I agree with Rob 100%
Sheldon
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robp
Pyromaniac
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Posted: 07/26/05 - 10:26 Post subject:
| marathonrnr262 wrote: | | robp wrote: | | Being an agnostic , I say it's no big deal. My personal belief is that organized religion is a big crock. But that's just me and I don't think too many people hold that opinion. |
Someone pick me up off the floor, I agree with Rob 100%
Sheldon |
Off topic but.... if I didn't like my fish so much this would be my new sig line! 
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akern
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Posted: 07/26/05 - 10:41 Post subject:
| robp wrote: | | Being an agnostic who was raised somewhat Catholic, I say it's no big deal. My personal belief is that organized religion is a big crock. But that's just me and I don't think too many people hold that opinion. |
I'm right behind you Rob. In fact I'm going to go ahead and call "SHOTGUN!!" on the handbasket.
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