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coachmarkos
my boys could swim
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 11387
Location: 1st in AFC West
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 Posted: 11/14/05 - 12:28 Post subject: memories...
Sam: What'll you have Normie?
Norm: Well, I'm in a gambling mood Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap.
Sam: Looks like beer, Norm.
Norm: Call me Mister Lucky.
I might have to watch TVLand tonight.
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coachmarkos
my boys could swim
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 11387
Location: 1st in AFC West
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Posted: 11/14/05 - 12:32 Post subject:
Frasier Crane: All right, let's review. Last night, I got knee walking drunk and now I am back this bar a mere seven and a half hours later, hung over... well, it's official. I have a problem.
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JACKED UP
PRESIDENT
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Joined: 06 Jun 2003
Posts: 21238
Location: www.johnnydu.com
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Posted: 11/14/05 - 12:33 Post subject:
Thanks for the earworm. 
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airehead
Oompa Loofah
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Joined: 12 Nov 2002
Posts: 18788
Location: Between here and eternity...
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Posted: 11/14/05 - 12:35 Post subject:
Ok. I had a STRANGE dream about Norm this weekend. 
Please. NO MORE NORM.
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coachmarkos
my boys could swim
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 11387
Location: 1st in AFC West
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Posted: 11/14/05 - 12:36 Post subject:
another classic:
| Quote: | | Cliff: Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers. |
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rolling rock
The Pinball
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 16218
Location: unknown zone
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Posted: 11/14/05 - 12:41 Post subject:
| coachmarkos wrote: | another classic:
| Quote: | | Cliff: Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers. |
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he's my hero
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Cappy
Excelent
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Joined: 16 May 2002
Posts: 27368
Location: Spreadsheetylvania
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Posted: 11/14/05 - 12:42 Post subject:
One of the best comedy TV series ever
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runswithscissors
Member
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 8797
Location: In a badger state of mind
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Posted: 11/14/05 - 12:58 Post subject:
That show taught me how to make my favorite drink - it isn't right unless you slightly bruise the cucumber.
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prohemp
Member
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 7716
Location: in the cradle of liberty
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Posted: 11/14/05 - 13:09 Post subject:
Norm while Cliff is bothering somebody: Hey Cliff, this guy over here says you know nothing about photosynthesis..
SAM and Bar patrons: NORM!!!
Sam: How's life treating you Norm
Norm: Like it caught me in bed with its wife
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Cappy
Excelent
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Joined: 16 May 2002
Posts: 27368
Location: Spreadsheetylvania
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Posted: 11/14/05 - 13:13 Post subject:
Sam (to Norm): Whatcha up to Norm
Norm: My ideal weight if I was nine feet tall
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coachmarkos
my boys could swim
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 11387
Location: 1st in AFC West
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Posted: 11/14/05 - 14:58 Post subject:
| Code: | | Sam: [regarding Norm's bar tab] You know, Norm, you've been coming in here a long time. Look at the first entry, "skinny guy at the end of the bar". |
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andydp
Member
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Joined: 23 Sep 2003
Posts: 8122
Location: Upstate NY near Albany
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Posted: 11/14/05 - 15:24 Post subject:
19 Norm's greetings on Cheers
1. "What's shaking, Norm?"
"All four cheeks & a couple of chins."
2. "What's new, Normie?"
"Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're demanding beer."
3. "What'd you like, Normie?"
"A reason to live. Give me another beer."
4. "What'll you have, Normie?"
"Well, I'm in a gambling mood Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap."
"Looks like beer, Norm."
"Call me Mister Lucky."
5. "Hey Norm, how's the world been treating you?"
"Like a baby treats a diaper."
6. "What's the story, Mr. Peterson?"
"The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery. Let's cut to the happy ending."
7. "Hey Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you."
"I know, if she calls, I'm not here."
8. "Beer, Norm?"
"Have I gotten that predictable? Good."
9. "What's going on, Mr Peterson?"
"A flashing sign in my gut that says, 'Insert beer here.'"
10. "Whatcha up to, Norm?"
"My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall."
11. "How's it going, Mr. Peterson?"
"Poor."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"No, I mean pour."
12. "How's life treating you, Norm?"
"Like it caught me sleeping with its wife."
13. "Women. Can't live with 'em....Pass the beer nuts."
14. "What's going down, Normie?"
"My butt cheeks on that bar stool."
15. "Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"
"All right, but stop me at one....make that one-thirty."
16. "How's it going, Mr. Peterson?"
"It's a dog eat dog world, Woody, and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear."
17. "What's the story, Norm?"
"Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer."
18. "What's going on, Mr. Peterson?"
"The question is what's going in Mr. Peterson? A beer please, Woody."
19. "Can I pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"
"A little early isn't it, Woody?"
"For a beer?"
"No, for stupid questions."
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coachmarkos
my boys could swim
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 11387
Location: 1st in AFC West
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Posted: 11/14/05 - 15:26 Post subject:
Norm: You know what I love?
Sam: Beer Norm?
Norm: Sure, I'll have one.
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Floridaboiler
POTFH
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Joined: 18 May 2002
Posts: 11322
Location: Jacksonville, Florida
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Posted: 11/14/05 - 20:14 Post subject:
| Cappy wrote: | | One of the best comedy TV series ever |
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Floridaboiler
POTFH
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Joined: 18 May 2002
Posts: 11322
Location: Jacksonville, Florida
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Posted: 11/14/05 - 20:27 Post subject:
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