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keltic63
the kilted one
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Joined: 17 May 2002
Posts: 8574
Location: under the weather
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 Posted: 02/04/06 - 16:07 Post subject: let's make this as difficult as possible.......
today is the first time that I've had my youngest son with me for an overnight visit. what a battle! I picked him up about 30 minutes ago, we're getting ready to do some shopping BECAUSE, she wouldn't send everything he needs.  so now we have to go out and buy "Pull Ups" because he is a bedwetter, underwear because he didn't bring clean ones with him, and something for breakfast because I don't have any of that sugary kids' cereal.
But, I do have him. That's a big hurdle. I was to have him 2 weeks ago, and it didn't happen. I'm thinking it's going to be one continuous battle to get these kinds of visits.
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blue
your favorite weapon
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Joined: 21 May 2002
Posts: 7010
Location: armed and ambitious
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Posted: 02/04/06 - 16:11 Post subject:
now you need to rent some scary movies.
i think that's the next step.
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JACKED UP
PRESIDENT
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Joined: 06 Jun 2003
Posts: 21238
Location: www.johnnydu.com
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Posted: 02/04/06 - 16:15 Post subject:
Being a child of divorce myself and knowing the struggle it was for me personally, my heart hurts seeing parents not focus on what's best for the children.  You seem to be wanting to do that and she's being difficult.  Sorry but it prolly will be a battle.
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cherylpf
crazy cat lady
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 17305
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Posted: 02/04/06 - 16:19 Post subject:
If my ex-BIL wasn't already remarried I'd fix him up with her. They're a match made in heaven. My sister has similar visitation with her kids as you do with your kids and I don't know the last time their dad sent clothes for church (their visitations are typically over weekends and/or holidays), clean underwear and all the medications. You'd think after 6 years he'd figure out how to pack the kids up.
My sister has her kids this weekend. exBIL revised his superbowl plans so she could have them so he could pick them up on Sunday. What a martyr he is.
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robp
Pyromaniac
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Joined: 26 Jul 2002
Posts: 16242
Location: Waiting in line at the beer store...
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Posted: 02/04/06 - 17:54 Post subject:
I know the feeling Keltic. I'm glad my son is 16 now, I pick him, he's got his stuff and ignores her bullsh!t. Another month or two, I won't even have to go pick him up as he'll be driving over on his own.
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crazyfrog
Kermitologist
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Joined: 31 May 2003
Posts: 7610
Location: atlanta
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Posted: 02/04/06 - 22:30 Post subject:
im glad she obviously cares enough about the boy to send him with all his overnight stuff. 
sorry shes being so difficult.
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keltic63
the kilted one
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Joined: 17 May 2002
Posts: 8574
Location: under the weather
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Posted: 02/04/06 - 23:43 Post subject:
amazing! we bought what we needed, had a nice sit-down dinner at Bob Evans, drove to my 18yo's chorus concert (district chorus, 69 particpating schools, 188 of the most-talented singers.....beautiful concert, that the youngest slept through) hour drive home (more sleep) then up for about an hour in which he thought he'd never go to sleep and he might have to go home..... I tickled him until that thought left his mind.
I'm getting to be a dad at a time when I haven't had a chance to be a dad: overnight and in the morning. first time in 2.5 years. 
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karlene
Canadian Bacon
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Joined: 17 Oct 2005
Posts: 5563
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Posted: 02/04/06 - 23:46 Post subject:
| keltic63 wrote: | amazing! we bought what we needed, had a nice sit-down dinner at Bob Evans, drove to my 18yo's chorus concert (district chorus, 69 particpating schools, 188 of the most-talented singers.....beautiful concert, that the youngest slept through) hour drive home (more sleep) then up for about an hour in which he thought he'd never go to sleep and he might have to go home..... I tickled him until that thought left his mind.
I'm getting to be a dad at a time when I haven't had a chance to be a dad: overnight and in the morning. first time in 2.5 years. |
Its so great that you have him!
I truely hope that someone  's her in the back of the head and she realizes that you are still around for him while some men would have been long gone...
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brie k
Member
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 5661
Location: where the wild things are
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Posted: 02/05/06 - 10:33 Post subject:
Packing up the kids' things to go to Charlotte is the most awful thing I ever have to do. I always worry that I won't pack everything. They end up taking enough for a year-long stay as a result! (Which in some ways, I'm sure is just as bad.)
At any rate, since you know this woman is going to be a d!ck about it, maybe you can be proactive and have some things that you can keep there, particularly church clothes. I'd hit Walmart or Target, and also get a few sets of playclothes while you're at it. This way you don't have to break the bank, but will always have things on hand.
I am glad you are getting to spend time with him. I hope it gets easier as time goes by.
You're a great dad, btw! 
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Gogirlgo
Member
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Joined: 25 Jul 2002
Posts: 4777
Location: No deal, stalker.
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Posted: 02/05/06 - 12:20 Post subject:
I agree with what everyone else has said. Also, this is the first visit, so you can't expect it to be all smooth. It's possible that as she gets more used to the idea, it will be smoother.
I forget to check my kids' bag when they go to Daddy's; I sometimes get a phonecall that they'll stop here before school so Goette Deux can get socks or whatever. I figure it's all part of the learning curve.
Maybe she's intentionally leaving stuff out to make it difficult for you; maybe she relied on him to get a bag together that he's not old enough to do by himself. Maybe she just spaced it b/c she had other stuff on her mind.
Anyway, I'm glad you got to have your child with you, Kelt.
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Noley
AZhat
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Joined: 16 Aug 2003
Posts: 10494
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Posted: 02/05/06 - 12:40 Post subject:
I find it horrifying that there are parents and ex-spouses out there who take it upon themselves to make their children pawns in divorce games to play out. I do.
I do not understand why people to take the low road to do what they do and ultimately hurt the children. I don't. It's not a parent's job to do that. A loving parent does all that they can to create normalcy for the children to go by and develop meaningful relationships with their children even divorced. Just because there is a divorce doesn't mean that everything should lean one way towards one parent.
Now...I have a situation where I'm not the norm. My ex and I do all that we can to raise these children well together...apart. Do you get that? We talk on a constant basis. We do things together when it involves activities with the children (games, birthday parties, projects the kids work on, conferences). We never put the children in the middle of our disagreements. We accept our current life situations and do not allow our feelings to get in the way of it (ie. my ex having a GF and I accept that she is going to be a part of our lives). We are both mature enough to know that if anything...WE WILL DO ALL WE CAN TO MAKE BETTER OF OUR CHILDREN'S LIVES!!!
It's not the children's fault. So why do they have to be put in the middle and suffer? Your ex is indirectly hurting your son. She is. Does she do it because of the she's so selfish that she cannot see past herself? Whatever the case...it's sad.
Divorce is hell.
Divorce sucks.
Divorce with children is the hardest thing I've ever had to work at to make sure they are alright.
It's not a game.
Children are not pawns.
It's time to see more people taking the high road!!!
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