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crazyfrog
Kermitologist
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Joined: 31 May 2003
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Location: atlanta
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Posted: 09/20/04 - 12:26 Post subject: is this a "mom" thing?
or maybe a menopause thing?
i think the bfs mom has gone off the deep end.
a few weeks ago, she told the bf that he had to get most of his stuff out of the basement and into a storage place. yes, he does have a lot of crap (bikes and bike parts, and car stuff) down there, but its not taking over the basement. then, last thurday, she went off about how we never help around the house and that our rooms are "embarrassingly dirty" and she will have to cancel the baby shower thats at our house in october if we didnt get things cleaned up pronto. she also informed us that we need to start packing our belongings and move them into strorage too. even though our house wont be ready untill xmas, provided that there are absolutely no problems.
so, im a little stressed. i spent the weekend packing up most of my room and made a trip to the storage place yesterday. i realize that the boys (the bf and his brother) really dont help out, but i do. and even when i do, his mom still goes behind me and redoes whatever i just did.
if this is what i have to look forward too when im "old" please shoot me now and put me out of my and everyone elses misery.
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akern
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Posted: 09/20/04 - 12:32 Post subject:
It's probably just the stress of living together. I know when my brother moved in with me it was pretty rough because I was used to living alone. So the slightest thing would make me crazy. You try not to be totally b*tchy but sometimes you just.can't. hold. it. in.
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JACKED UP
PRESIDENT
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Joined: 06 Jun 2003
Posts: 21238
Location: www.johnnydu.com
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Posted: 09/20/04 - 12:35 Post subject:
| akern wrote: | | It's probably just the stress of living together. I know when my brother moved in with me it was pretty rough because I was used to living alone. So the slightest thing would make me crazy. You try not to be totally b*tchy but sometimes you just.can't. hold. it. in. |
BF
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brie k
Member
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Posted: 09/20/04 - 12:38 Post subject:
| JACKED UP wrote: | | akern wrote: | | It's probably just the stress of living together. I know when my brother moved in with me it was pretty rough because I was used to living alone. So the slightest thing would make me crazy. You try not to be totally b*tchy but sometimes you just.can't. hold. it. in. |
BF  |
Just grit your teeth and be all about "Yes Ma'am." It's hard to live with parents, and I'd imagine it's hard to be a parent living with grown kids.
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Maddies Wench
Flailing Homosapiens
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Joined: 12 Jun 2003
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Location: Seeking out the poorer quarters where the ragged people go.
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Posted: 09/20/04 - 12:38 Post subject:
I have a couple of theories.
A: If could be menopause messing with her patience level.
B: The stress of living together is getting to her and she's been a "holder inner" up until this point.
c: She's recently come under the influence of someone who's telling her she's being taken advantage of and to put her foot down. She respects this person, so she makes an attempt to do just that.
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crazyfrog
Kermitologist
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Joined: 31 May 2003
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Posted: 09/20/04 - 12:39 Post subject:
| brie k wrote: | | JACKED UP wrote: | | akern wrote: | | It's probably just the stress of living together. I know when my brother moved in with me it was pretty rough because I was used to living alone. So the slightest thing would make me crazy. You try not to be totally b*tchy but sometimes you just.can't. hold. it. in. |
BF  |
Just grit your teeth and be all about "Yes Ma'am." It's hard to live with parents, and I'd imagine it's hard to be a parent living with grown kids. |
but ive lived there for 5 years. and believe me, NOONE is more excited about moving out than ME!
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brie k
Member
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Posted: 09/20/04 - 12:46 Post subject:
| crazyfrog wrote: | | brie k wrote: | | JACKED UP wrote: | | akern wrote: | | It's probably just the stress of living together. I know when my brother moved in with me it was pretty rough because I was used to living alone. So the slightest thing would make me crazy. You try not to be totally b*tchy but sometimes you just.can't. hold. it. in. |
BF  |
Just grit your teeth and be all about "Yes Ma'am." It's hard to live with parents, and I'd imagine it's hard to be a parent living with grown kids. |
but ive lived there for 5 years. and believe me, NOONE is more excited about moving out than ME! |
I know that's got to be true. I lived with my Dad when Libby was little, and it was hella hard. Hang in & hold on, you're almost there. Just continue to be kind, regardless what she is saying and doing. She is the mom, and someday you may be a mom too. I hate to be all "old" and say that any or all of this will make more sense once you are a parent yourself, but it is true.
Besides, I'm sure it has less to do with you and more to do with her own child. Do something extra-nice for her though, without being too obvious. I'd like that!!!
Hugs to you, Froggie. You're a good person, and probably a great "tenant".
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akern
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Posted: 09/20/04 - 12:47 Post subject:
| crazyfrog wrote: | | brie k wrote: | | JACKED UP wrote: | | akern wrote: | | It's probably just the stress of living together. I know when my brother moved in with me it was pretty rough because I was used to living alone. So the slightest thing would make me crazy. You try not to be totally b*tchy but sometimes you just.can't. hold. it. in. |
BF  |
Just grit your teeth and be all about "Yes Ma'am." It's hard to live with parents, and I'd imagine it's hard to be a parent living with grown kids. |
but ive lived there for 5 years. |
Exactly! No offense but she's probably counting the days as well.
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rolling rock
The Pinball
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Posted: 09/20/04 - 12:58 Post subject:
sounds like she's had it with you frog. j/k
it's probably more that things are piling up in her mind -- your moving will be alot easier if you begin cleaning out and kinda packing stuff that's not used alot . she sounds like she just doesn't want to let it go to the last minute....plus, the messy room thing i guess i can relate to. my daughter's room isn't messy, but it is full of stuff. i can't stay in there very long or i hyperventilate and pass out---i hate junk but let her have her space.
she might be stressing about the shower she is having at her house too, wanting things to be "perfect", and in her mind it isn't so she's beginning to verbalize it ....it wouldn't hurt to indulge her by packing up lots of stuff you aren't using and putting it in the basement, ready to go when you move. maybe the b/f could clean up his basement stuff and throw away the junk that's not being used -- i'd imagine that would really rock her world.
you'd really be doing yourselves a favor by starting on this pitching and packing thing cuz moving junk you don't ever use is just stupid.
living together is so stressful. props to you froggie for hanging in there and being a decent housemate.
good luck riding out the last few months.
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purple hayes
Frightened Inmate #2
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Posted: 09/20/04 - 13:35 Post subject:
Do you help with storing the bikes? I have room for a single speed road bike, a full-suspension rig and a CX bike.
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alyson98
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Posted: 09/20/04 - 14:37 Post subject:
| purple hayes wrote: | Do you help with storing the bikes? I have room for a single speed road bike, a full-suspension rig and a CX bike.  |
Me too! I'll even pay shipping!
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crazyfrog
Kermitologist
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Posted: 09/20/04 - 15:44 Post subject:
thanks everyone.
mw, i think youre right about all of your theories...
i definately think menopause is involved. and maybe the stress of having us there is too much. but the cleaning thing really gets on my nerves and i dont understand it. she gets mad when noone helps, but when I do, she goes back behind me and does it over again. and the boys know very well that if they let stuff go, mom will eventually do it herself. and that is why she still cleans the little brothers room and does his laundry and just about everything except go to the bathroom for him. even though hes 18 years old.
my rooms mostly packed. i just have to organize what i have left and im going to be a nice as possible untill were out. everyone please cross your fingers that nothing comes up and the house is done ASAP...
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duathlon
Member
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Location: Boston, Massachusetts
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Posted: 09/20/04 - 23:00 Post subject:
Just a thought, contrary to the belief that it is getting to her what if she is actually unhappy that you and BF are moving out and she isnt sure how to react to it....
Just like when I left for school from home.... I remember being easily irritated at my parents for little things (stupid me) and them a little bit iffy to me too because I didnt wanna leave and neither did they want me to....
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MechEngDropout
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Posted: 09/20/04 - 23:08 Post subject:
| purple hayes wrote: | Do you help with storing the bikes? I have room for a single speed road bike, a full-suspension rig and a CX bike.  |
I'll store your bikes, though I can't guarantee that you'll be able to get them back.
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