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akern
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 Posted: 04/01/03 - 13:56 Post subject:
| kristin31 wrote: | | Cappy wrote: | | Sandy Cheeks wrote: | | Remind me again why people get married? |
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Ok..., maybe I am a heathen or something, but last time I checked marriage and bumping uglies were not mutually exclusive. |
AMEN SISTA!! 
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rubberlegs
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Posted: 04/01/03 - 14:29 Post subject:
| elkid wrote: | jrjo raises an interesting premise, even for this heathen.
Anybody know how much the stay together percentage goes up for a couple whose parents have never divorced? My parents have been married for nearly 40 years, my in-laws for nearly 33. NO ONE in my family is divorced, so to me divorce is a repugnant, horrible idea - I would feel like a complete failure had I gotten divorced. (What other people do, fine, that's their business, but for me it wasn't an option.) But I bet for a person whose parents were divorced, not so much so.
:idea: :idea: Thoughts? :idea: :idea: |
well the numbers don't probably stack up in my favor, but if you've never been through the divorce of your parents, you can't fully understand the pain. I hope to save my children from the crap that I went through as a child when my parents were marching down the path to divorce. I'm sure there are many children of divorced people who feel the same way.
Another point I'd like to bring up to you all is that sometimes divorce isn't always about choice. If a woman is abused, her only choice may be to divorce. If someone's spouse continually cheats on them, refuses to participate in any form of therapy or counseling, do they really have a choice? I know the common thought is we always have choices, but in my opinion there are legitimate reasons for divorce. I certainly hope and pray that I never fall into one of those situations, but I'm definitely careful about casting judgement on those who have (not saying anyone here has).
Last edited by rubberlegs on 04/01/03 - 14:30; edited 1 time in total
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purple hayes
Frightened Inmate #2
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Posted: 04/01/03 - 14:29 Post subject:
| Pebbles wrote: | | purple hayes wrote: | .
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adding--where do you find these pictures, PH? |
I've got lots of pictures of myself in a Speedo. Would you like some more?
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Cappy
Excelent
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Posted: 04/01/03 - 14:37 Post subject:
| purple hayes wrote: | | Pebbles wrote: | | purple hayes wrote: | .
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adding--where do you find these pictures, PH? |
I've got lots of pictures of myself in a Speedo. Would you like some more? |
 
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airehead
Oompa Loofah
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Posted: 04/01/03 - 14:45 Post subject:
| rubberlegs wrote: |
Another point I'd like to bring up to you all is that sometimes divorce isn't always about choice. If a woman is abused, her only choice may be to divorce. If someone's spouse continually cheats on them, refuses to participate in any form of therapy or counseling, do they really have a choice? I know the common thought is we always have choices, but in my opinion there are legitimate reasons for divorce. I certainly hope and pray that I never fall into one of those situations, but I'm definitely careful about casting judgement on those who have (not saying anyone here has). |
I agree with this, but I think we all do.
My parents have been UNhappily married now for 43 years. She has tried to leave him several times, but through no fault of her own has had to come back. (Talk about her feeling humiliated---the first was a car accident that left her really injured). I think sometimes divorce is the only answer especially for the reasons above. I have seen it with my own eyes and there are so many long-lasting implications of watching miserable parents that I can't even begin to explain them all.
Divorce is horrible, but sometimes staying together is far worse. Trust me, I know.
As far as spouses who are upset with your running/lifting--it has nothing to do with "when" but in the feeling that they are being left behind. Similar to the feelings (although this isn't logical) like you have a new mister/mistress. It's not about what time you see your girlfriend--but that you have something apart and separate from your spouse. It isn't logical, because often they could just as easily join you, but choose not to join in with your running/etc. It leaves them feeling left behind, like they are the ones failing you so hat you had to find an activity away from them, it leaves them feeling unnattractive that they aren't working out. It makes them feel guilty that they don't share your sport interests. A lot of these feelings are illogical, but they exist. They feel left out.
I know some of you are trying SUPAH hard to include your spouses and they refuse to join you. At that point it becomes their responsibility to identify what's eating them and deal with it. Because jealousy is very destructive whether it is logical/legitimate or not.
Sorry so long winded.....
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akern
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Posted: 04/01/03 - 15:04 Post subject:
| purple hayes wrote: | | Pebbles wrote: | | purple hayes wrote: | .
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adding--where do you find these pictures, PH? |
I've got lots of pictures of myself in a Speedo. Would you like some more? |
All I want to know is....... What happened to your legs!!
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elkid
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Posted: 04/01/03 - 15:07 Post subject:
| airehead wrote: | | rubberlegs wrote: |
Another point I'd like to bring up to you all is that sometimes divorce isn't always about choice. If a woman is abused, her only choice may be to divorce. If someone's spouse continually cheats on them, refuses to participate in any form of therapy or counseling, do they really have a choice? I know the common thought is we always have choices, but in my opinion there are legitimate reasons for divorce. I certainly hope and pray that I never fall into one of those situations, but I'm definitely careful about casting judgement on those who have (not saying anyone here has). |
I agree with this, but I think we all do. |
Yes. There are always legitimate reasons for divorce, like physical safety (either through abuse or cheating). In my situation during The Bad Time, I was the problem. Plain and simple. I'm just really glad I made the choice to clean up my act. Otherwise I would've copped out like a lot of people too fearful of or unwilling to face themselves in the mirror and change.
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purple hayes
Frightened Inmate #2
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Posted: 04/01/03 - 15:08 Post subject:
| akern wrote: | | All I want to know is....... What happened to your legs!! |
Lots of lower body lifting turned them into LEGS OF STEEL!
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akern
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Posted: 04/01/03 - 15:09 Post subject:
| purple hayes wrote: | | akern wrote: | | All I want to know is....... What happened to your legs!! |
Lots of lower body lifting turned them into LEGS OF STEEL! |
Legs of steel that have been left out in the sun too long!
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purple hayes
Frightened Inmate #2
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Posted: 04/01/03 - 15:10 Post subject:
| akern wrote: | | purple hayes wrote: | | akern wrote: | | All I want to know is....... What happened to your legs!! |
Lots of lower body lifting turned them into LEGS OF STEEL! |
Legs of steel that have been left out in the sun too long! |
You're just jealous.
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flarunner
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Posted: 04/01/03 - 16:39 Post subject:
| airehead wrote: | | ...As far as spouses who are upset with your running/lifting--it has nothing to do with "when" but in the feeling that they are being left behind... |
BINGO!
The fact, PH, is that you are spending all that time on training and not with your wife.
My unsolicited, single-perspective suggestion: Talk with your spouse. Ask spouse if your running, etc. upsets/bothers/annoys/etc. him/her. If the answer is yes, find out WHY.
But be prepared to explain why running, etc. is important to you.
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omega lambda
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Posted: 04/01/03 - 22:32 Post subject:
| flarunner wrote: | | airehead wrote: | | ...As far as spouses who are upset with your running/lifting--it has nothing to do with "when" but in the feeling that they are being left behind... |
BINGO!
The fact, PH, is that you are spending all that time on training and not with your wife.
My unsolicited, single-perspective suggestion: Talk with your spouse. Ask spouse if your running, etc. upsets/bothers/annoys/etc. him/her. If the answer is yes, find out WHY.
But be prepared to explain why running, etc. is important to you. |
AND YET ANOTHER BINGO!
But I also think that the feeling of being left behind is two-fold; left behind as in not spending time together, and left behind as in one of you is disciplined/changing and in or getting in good shape and the other is not. Both leave a lot of room for fear, doubt and jealousy.
Actually, I could "BINGO" all over the place because there's an awful lot of wisdom in this thread. Jrjo made an excellent point about compatibility, and Pebbles made an excellent point about obsession, and rubberlegs made an excellent point about divorce, and Pebbles made another excellent point about cooking and how it is directly proportional to your husband's physique.
And Cheeky, to remind you of why people want to get married; in my most humble opinion, when you marry your best friend, you've got it all. Love, romance, friendship, and a lifetime of making Kodak moments together. Sure, you can have this without marriage, but there's something to be said for committment. It takes all those things and puts a different color on it. Sort of like rose-colored glasses.
And so I would like to say I'm one of the lucky ones. I married my best friend and we support each other's activities completely and then we found another activity that we really like doing together (tandem cycling for all you gutter-minded folk!  ).
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airehead
Oompa Loofah
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Posted: 04/01/03 - 22:41 Post subject:
| omega lambda wrote: | | I married my best friend and we support each other's activities completely and then we found another activity that we really like doing together (tandem cycling for all you gutter-minded folk! ). |
Is that what they're calling it nowadays???
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pokychick
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Posted: 04/01/03 - 22:49 Post subject:
| airehead wrote: | | omega lambda wrote: | | I married my best friend and we support each other's activities completely and then we found another activity that we really like doing together (tandem cycling for all you gutter-minded folk! ). |
Is that what they're calling it nowadays??? |
It is?! I am so out of the loop these days.
Would it be too personal to ask if you like the front or back better, or
does it depend on the mood? 
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omega lambda
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Posted: 04/01/03 - 23:49 Post subject:
| pokychick wrote: | | airehead wrote: | | omega lambda wrote: | | I married my best friend and we support each other's activities completely and then we found another activity that we really like doing together (tandem cycling for all you gutter-minded folk! ). |
Is that what they're calling it nowadays??? |
It is?! I am so out of the loop these days.
Would it be too personal to ask if you like the front or back better, or
does it depend on the mood? |
I prefer the back, the view is better! 
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