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elkid
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Joined: 18 Nov 2002
Posts: 8353
Location: hiding out in Philly
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 Posted: 04/01/03 - 13:15 Post subject:
jrjo raises an interesting premise, even for this heathen.
Anybody know how much the stay together percentage goes up for a couple whose parents have never divorced? My parents have been married for nearly 40 years, my in-laws for nearly 33. NO ONE in my family is divorced, so to me divorce is a repugnant, horrible idea - I would feel like a complete failure had I gotten divorced. (What other people do, fine, that's their business, but for me it wasn't an option.) But I bet for a person whose parents were divorced, not so much so.
:idea: :idea: Thoughts? :idea: :idea:
Last edited by elkid on 04/01/03 - 13:21; edited 1 time in total
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Pebbles
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Joined: 21 May 2002
Posts: 2947
Location: Bedrock
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Posted: 04/01/03 - 13:15 Post subject:
| purple hayes wrote: | .
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Holy Crap! If Bambam looked like this guy I'd be more worked about my cooking! 
Speaking of cooking--who's ready for pizza? I know I am! 
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genie
Master of Prissface
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 16194
Location: Finding serenity one day at a time
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Posted: 04/01/03 - 13:21 Post subject:
| keltic63 wrote: | | within the past 3 years of losing weight and getting in shape, the mrs. has become more suspicious of my reasons for doing so. it has caused problems with the relationship. about a year and a half into the changes for me, I caught myself in a store mirror and didn't recognize myself. It hit me pretty hard, so how hard that must be for the spouse??? looking at a stranger everyday. I'd like for mrs. keltic to keep going with her life, to find something she really enjoys, and find something that makes her happy. BUT I can't do that for her, she has to find it herself. Painful for both sides, I'd say. |
BINGO!!!! Exactly what I was saying. They can't always handle our positive changes for a variety of reasons, so they resent us for it, which makes us feel uncomfortable and really puts a negative spin on what, under more supportive circumstances, could be a really good thing. Sad indeed.
This is a great discussion!!
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robp
Pyromaniac
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Joined: 26 Jul 2002
Posts: 16242
Location: Waiting in line at the beer store...
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Posted: 04/01/03 - 13:25 Post subject:
| elkid wrote: | jrjo raises an interesting premise, even for this heathen.
Anybody know how much the stay together percentage goes up for a couple whose parents have never divorced? My parents have been married for nearly 40 years, my in-laws for nearly 33. NO ONE in my family is divorced, so to me divorce is a repugnant, horrible idea - I would feel like a complete failure had I gotten divorced. (What other people do, fine, that's their business, but for me it wasn't an option.) But I bet for a person whose parents were divorced, not so much so.
:idea: :idea: Thoughts? :idea: :idea: |
My parents have been married for pushing 50 yrs. My youngest sister is divorced, my other sister is still married but it's been a battle. My spouses dad is on his 4th wife, her mom never remarried.
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Cappy
Excelent
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Joined: 16 May 2002
Posts: 27368
Location: Spreadsheetylvania
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Posted: 04/01/03 - 13:29 Post subject:
Both of our parents are divorced. FIL remarried, but he died 6 years ago, MIL remarried. My dad never remarried, Mom remarried, SFIL passed away 18 months ago. Holidays are quite a challenge.
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Pebbles
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Joined: 21 May 2002
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Location: Bedrock
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Posted: 04/01/03 - 13:30 Post subject:
| Pebbles wrote: | | purple hayes wrote: | .
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Holy Crap! If Bambam looked like this guy I'd be more worried about my cooking!
Speaking of cooking--who's ready for pizza? I know I am! |
adding--where do you find these pictures, PH?
Last edited by Pebbles on 04/01/03 - 13:33; edited 1 time in total
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akern
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Joined: 31 May 2002
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Location: CTU
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Posted: 04/01/03 - 13:33 Post subject:
| keltic63 wrote: | | Pebbles wrote: |
Ask yourself these questions...
Have you lost weight in the past year? yes
Do you look better than you did a year ago?yes
Do you feel better than you did a year ago? yes
Have you gone to bed early more than once so you can get up for a run or race?yes
Have you changed your eating habits?yes, but not necessarily for good, i'm working on that
Have you changed your daily routine to accomodate your running, biking etc.?yes
If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, then you have changed.
And you know sometimes--- we all hate change!
And change is NOT a bad thing, but to a spouse it means we are different. And I think, for some people this can be very scary--like--Who is this person? What are you going to change next???
Also, if we LOOK better (turning head with those muscle  ) than we did when we got married, I think that also can have an effect on a relationship. So, to make a long story short, it may not be the actual running(although in my case it was  ) but what the running may transformed us into--does that make sense? |
within the past 3 years of losing weight and getting in shape, the mrs. has become more suspicious of my reasons for doing so. it has caused problems with the relationship. about a year and a half into the changes for me, I caught myself in a store mirror and didn't recognize myself. It hit me pretty hard, so how hard that must be for the spouse??? looking at a stranger everyday. I'd like for mrs. keltic to keep going with her life, to find something she really enjoys, and find something that makes her happy. BUT I can't do that for her, she has to find it herself. Painful for both sides, I'd say. |
I too, lost some weight and when the compliments started rolling in is when we started to have problems. Keith has a friend who told him the only reason a wife works out is to find a boyfriend. 
The only reason I made the change was because I was not happy with me . It had nothing to do with looking good for anyone. Its been about 3 years now and I haven't run off yet, so he's a little easier on me lately.
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rolling rock
The Pinball
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 16218
Location: unknown zone
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Posted: 04/01/03 - 13:38 Post subject:
| akern wrote: |
I too, lost some weight and when the compliments started rolling in is when we started to have problems. Keith has a friend who told him the only reason a wife works out is to find a boyfriend.
The only reason I made the change was because I was not happy with me . It had nothing to do with looking good for anyone. Its been about 3 years now and I haven't run off yet, so he's a little easier on me lately. |
what a DORKY thing to say...........yeah, i'm out there to find me a
may-an..then i'll club him over his head and drag him home.
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robp
Pyromaniac
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Joined: 26 Jul 2002
Posts: 16242
Location: Waiting in line at the beer store...
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Posted: 04/01/03 - 13:38 Post subject:
| akern wrote: |
I too, lost some weight and when the compliments started rolling in is when we started to have problems. Keith has a friend who told him the only reason a wife works out is to find a boyfriend.
The only reason I made the change was because I was not happy with me . It had nothing to do with looking good for anyone. Its been about 3 years now and I haven't run off yet, so he's a little easier on me lately. |
I personally couldn't care what others think about how I look. I decided at age 30 and weighing 190 lbs that I didn't like where I was headed. I made a decision to change and stuck by it. She's convinced I did it to attract someone else but nothing could be further from the truth.
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Sandy Cheeks
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 4605
Location: in the city that never sleeps
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Posted: 04/01/03 - 13:40 Post subject:
Remind me again why people get married?
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Cappy
Excelent
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Joined: 16 May 2002
Posts: 27368
Location: Spreadsheetylvania
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Posted: 04/01/03 - 13:41 Post subject:
| Sandy Cheeks wrote: | | Remind me again why people get married? |
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Pebbles
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Joined: 21 May 2002
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Location: Bedrock
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Posted: 04/01/03 - 13:44 Post subject:
| rolling rock wrote: | | akern wrote: |
I too, lost some weight and when the compliments started rolling in is when we started to have problems. Keith has a friend who told him the only reason a wife works out is to find a boyfriend.
The only reason I made the change was because I was not happy with me . It had nothing to do with looking good for anyone. Its been about 3 years now and I haven't run off yet, so he's a little easier on me lately. |
what a DORKY thing to say...........yeah, i'm out there to find me a
may-an..then i'll club him over his head and drag him home. |
 Yous one tough woo-man! 
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kristin31
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 8045
Location: Caught in the crossfire of childhood and stardom
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Posted: 04/01/03 - 13:48 Post subject:
| Cappy wrote: | | Sandy Cheeks wrote: | | Remind me again why people get married? |
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Ok..., maybe I am a heathen or something, but last time I checked marriage and bumping uglies were not mutually exclusive.
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Sandy Cheeks
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Location: in the city that never sleeps
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Posted: 04/01/03 - 13:53 Post subject:
| kristin31 wrote: | | Cappy wrote: | | Sandy Cheeks wrote: | | Remind me again why people get married? |
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Ok..., maybe I am a heathen or something, but last time I checked marriage and bumping uglies were not mutually exclusive. |
Tee-hee!
Maybe he meant "as close as you can come to guaranteed "
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Cappy
Excelent
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Joined: 16 May 2002
Posts: 27368
Location: Spreadsheetylvania
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Posted: 04/01/03 - 13:55 Post subject:
| Sandy Cheeks wrote: | | kristin31 wrote: | | Cappy wrote: | | Sandy Cheeks wrote: | | Remind me again why people get married? |
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Ok..., maybe I am a heathen or something, but last time I checked marriage and bumping uglies were not mutually exclusive. |
Tee-hee!
Maybe he meant "as close as you can come to guaranteed "
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I liked the test drive so I decided to buy it.
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