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RunsLikeAGirl
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Joined: 01 Apr 2003
Posts: 1499
Location: Upstate.
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 Posted: 02/11/05 - 12:37 Post subject: compassion and illness
Akern's comment in LE's confrontation thread got me thinking about this.
The president of my company just had a pretty severe stroke a couple of weeks ago - he was driving at the time, and was VERY lucky he didn't cause an accident. The area responsible for the restriction in blood flow is inoperable, so he really can't exert himself too much, or he'll have another one. His entire life will change - he won't have the coordination to go fly fishing and most likely won't be able to drive. He's only 57.
Here's the thing - the guy is a complete jerk. I'm talking major asshat, here. The company is in major trouble, and this guy is supposed to be doing marketing, but since he's the president, he instead goes fishing on company time and dollar. All the time. That's just one small example. The list of the problems I have with this man is endless. As a result, I have a hard time finding compassion for him. I think the rest of the company feels the same way - I know I'm the only one that sent him flowers other than the company gift, and they were sent out of guilt because I just don't feel that bad. Am I the only one that ever feels this way? What goes around comes around?
Sigh. I'm generating some seriously bad karma... 
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Laurie Ellen
Queenie
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 11286
Location: The Dark Side of the Moon
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Posted: 02/11/05 - 12:42 Post subject:
I went through that BIG TIME last year when M's father died. He had a lot of M's problems with anger and making himself unbearable to be around. When he died it was sad because he was 63, but honestly he made himself so totally unloveable that I haven't missed him even for 1 second. What a terrible thing to leave behind! Being such a jerk that people won't even miss you if you die.
Illness or death happens to everyone. Not just good or kind people. It's still sad, but it took me a while to be ok with not grieving because it was really a relief not to have him around anymore.
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jrjo
Gone Fishin
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 16451
Location: Lake Wobegon, MN
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Posted: 02/11/05 - 12:42 Post subject:
I think it's human nature to have feelings like that. It's near impossible to find something to like in those kinds of people.
What I wonder about guys like this president, is why hasn't management or employees for that matter gone over his head and reported all this stuff to the board of directors. Or is he a sole-proprietor? If not, he reports to somebody and they should be all over him for tail-spinning the company. 
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HighHeat
Big Daddy
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Joined: 30 May 2004
Posts: 6682
Location: Out of the frying pan, and into the fire.
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Posted: 02/11/05 - 12:43 Post subject:
| Laurie Ellen wrote: | | It's still sad, but it took me a while to be ok with not grieving because it was really a relief not to have him around anymore. |
Sounds like your grieving happened while he was still here.
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RunsLikeAGirl
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Joined: 01 Apr 2003
Posts: 1499
Location: Upstate.
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Posted: 02/11/05 - 12:44 Post subject:
| jrjo wrote: | I think it's human nature to have feelings like that. It's near impossible to find something to like in those kinds of people.
What I wonder about guys like this president, is why hasn't management or employees for that matter gone over his head and reported all this stuff to the board of directors. Or is he a sole-proprietor? If not, he reports to somebody and they should be all over him for tail-spinning the company. |
He's the owner - it's not a public company. No one will stand up to him because he's such a collosal icehole. It's dysfunctional.
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Laurie Ellen
Queenie
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 11286
Location: The Dark Side of the Moon
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Posted: 02/11/05 - 12:46 Post subject:
| RunsLikeAGirl wrote: |
He's the owner - it's not a public company. No one will stand up to him because he's such a collosal icehole. It's dysfunctional. |
My God, this sounds familiar! 
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cherylpf
crazy cat lady
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Joined: 14 May 2002
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Posted: 02/11/05 - 12:46 Post subject:
| Laurie Ellen wrote: |
My God, this sounds familiar! |
very much so, here too...
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bpdou
Member
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Joined: 09 Apr 2004
Posts: 1713
Location: Louisville
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Posted: 02/11/05 - 12:49 Post subject:
I'd say the opposite of love is not hate. The opposite is apathy.
If I'm thinking "serves him right" probably some bad karma there.
If I'm not thinking anything, well, nothing I can do about that. Serves him right, indeed. Thus the opposite of love comment above.
I don't like to wish bad things ON someone, no matter what. I figure they'll find their own bad things easy enough.
I do think the serves him right is serves him right he's been such a jerk and burned all those bridges and now he's not getting any compassion.
I'm also willing to believe that an event like that in some people's lives can turn the asshat around and open their eyes. Some, tho, just drives them deeper into asshatdom.
And, as I said in the other thread, I don't think tragic/troubling events NOW ever excuses bad behavior in the past. He was a jerk then. All there is to it.
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jrjo
Gone Fishin
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 16451
Location: Lake Wobegon, MN
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Posted: 02/11/05 - 12:53 Post subject:
| RunsLikeAGirl wrote: | | He's the owner - it's not a public company. No one will stand up to him because he's such a collosal icehole. It's dysfunctional. |
..if that's the case, then I guess it's his to run into the ground.
...btw.. I do hope you've got feelers in the job market if the ship sinks
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