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cherylpf
crazy cat lady
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 Posted: 08/24/06 - 22:15 Post subject: and sometimes it doesn't go as planned
my seemingly healthy patient today unexpectedly and quickly went into respiratory distress which lead to failure which lead to a 40 minute "code"/unsuccessful resuscitation efforts and he didn't survive. It was my first time to deal with losing a patient I personally worked with and man it sucks, there is no way around it. I had no idea how quickly I'm impacted by people and how affected I would be by something like this. I'm haunted by today...his last words "I'm choking..." his wife's face...the resident who wouldn't stop the code...
Just wanted to vent a little...sorry...
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TriBob
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Posted: 08/24/06 - 22:22 Post subject:
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JUJR
Grunt
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Posted: 08/24/06 - 22:44 Post subject:
I'm so sorry Cheryl...my mom was a nurse for, forever...she's gone now, but I think you just never get used to losing patients, especially the ones who you really enjoy...if you ever do, it may be time to get out of the profession. 
big hugs to you girly...I'll say a prayer for you tonight, I hope time will help you heal. 
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Zatoichi
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Posted: 08/25/06 - 01:31 Post subject:
Sorry Cheryl. 
Huge props to you and all the other dedicated folks in the field of medicine - I could never do what you do.
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JACKED UP
PRESIDENT
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Posted: 08/25/06 - 05:51 Post subject:
I'm so sorry.
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Kimba90
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Posted: 08/25/06 - 05:55 Post subject:
I'm sorry Cheryl, big stressful events, especially your own patient. Does the hospital have a debriefing/destressing session for codes? We are supposed to but I don't know if it really happens.
I attended a code a few weeks ago. The patient was actually one of the hospital employees, a PT assistant who had been my therapist. She did not make it. That actually affected and bothered me for 7-10 days. It probaly would have helped me if I had talked it out with someone.
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Cappy
Excelent
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Posted: 08/25/06 - 07:20 Post subject:
Losing your first patient is always the toughest, talking about it will certainly help.
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robp
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Posted: 08/25/06 - 07:38 Post subject:
| Zatoichi wrote: | Sorry Cheryl.
Huge props to you and all the other dedicated folks in the field of medicine - I could never do what you do.
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Well said.
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rolling rock
The Pinball
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Posted: 08/25/06 - 08:00 Post subject:
so sorry cheryl. i can't imagine being that close, and then realizing this will happen again, and probably again.....hope talking these things out will help you.
what zatoichi said.
{{{pf}}}
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gretriever
Hipster Doofus
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Posted: 08/25/06 - 08:05 Post subject: Re: and sometimes it doesn't go as planned
I'm sorry, Cheryl. You knew going into the profession that these things do happen, but it still can never be easy, especially for the first time.
But one comment in your post is puzzling.
| cherylpf wrote: | | ...the resident who wouldn't stop the code... |
Did you mean "wouldn't"? If you did - that is, if it was the resident's call to "give up" (a poor choice of words, I know, but I couldn't come up with anything else), you can at least take comfort that you yourself did all you could within your job repsonsibities.
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marathonrnr262
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Posted: 08/25/06 - 08:07 Post subject:
I work in the office setting and get to know my patients very well. Some of them I have known for more than 10 years. I know them very well and they know me too.
A quick story. I was taking care of a lady. She was worried because we were going to replace her pacemaker. I kept reassuring her that the procedure was really not that big a deal and they we do it all the time. This was Friday and she was scheduled to go on Monday. I told her that I was expecting a phone call on Monday night. (I gave her my private line number.) I gave her a big hug and she left. On Monday morning I had a note on my desk that she had died over the weekend. A completely different ailment took her life. That was last year and I still think of her. I still see her husband, but not as often as I saw her.
Take note that you are doing a good job and that your reward is those that get better. We cannot save them all. The cycle of life will continue no mater how hard we try.
Sheldon
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cherylpf
crazy cat lady
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Posted: 08/25/06 - 08:47 Post subject: Re: and sometimes it doesn't go as planned
| gretriever wrote: | I'm sorry, Cheryl. You knew going into the profession that these things do happen, but it still can never be easy, especially for the first time.
But one comment in your post is puzzling.
| cherylpf wrote: | | ...the resident who wouldn't stop the code... |
Did you mean "wouldn't"? If you did - that is, if it was the resident's call to "give up" (a poor choice of words, I know, but I couldn't come up with anything else), you can at least take comfort that you yourself did all you could within your job repsonsibities.
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Sorry, I did mean wouldn't, but that was a small positive for me, that despite other major circumstances with this patient they continued the code, had hope for this guy for 40 minutes. That they did not "just call it" earlier was heartening in an odd way, even though even I was starting to realize the inevitable outcome.
My roommate is a critical care nurse in a different hospital and has codes as part of her day to day (my floor does not). I have hashed out the entire day for her (as I keep remembering other details of earlier in the day) for hours on end last night and she's helped me understand a lot of what was a blur for me. I also go back to work tomorrow where I'm sure it will still be discussed.
To be clear, I still love my job, but as has been mentioned I couldn't have anticipated what this would be like.
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pokychick
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Posted: 08/25/06 - 09:13 Post subject:
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jrjo
Gone Fishin
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Posted: 08/25/06 - 09:48 Post subject:
| marathonrnr262 wrote: | | Take note that you are doing a good job and that your reward is those that get better. We cannot save them all. The cycle of life will continue no mater how hard we try. |
Well said. Hang in there Cheryl. The good you're doing is what it's all about.
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HYPERASHEL
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Posted: 08/25/06 - 10:51 Post subject:
so sory pfff. yes it's a field that can be filled with overwhelming joy when a sick/hurt patient thanks you. unfortunately there is a flip side and you found it now. if it didin't affect you we'd worry about you, just greive a bit but try not to dwell on it. focus on the good you have done but remember this experience.
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