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phillycat
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 Posted: 01/28/05 - 10:15 Post subject: When is it crossing the line?
Ok. The other day my boss and I were disagreeing about a document that she thought that I had not updated. She made a really big deal about it in front of some senior officers, so I wanted to show her that she was incorrect, that I had in fact updated it like she had asked me.
We continue the disucssion, because she is still confused, back in my office. In the midst of our arguing, she says to me "shut the f**k up". In the end, she realized that I was right and that she had made a mistake, but I just can't get it out of my head that she said that to me.
I've worked in places before where it wasn't a big deal to talk like that, but it isn't that way here.
What do you guys think? Am I making too big of a deal about this?
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BamBam
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Posted: 01/28/05 - 10:17 Post subject:
The obvious thing to say is:
YES, So shut the f**k up 
In seriousness, that is a very disrespectful thing for your boss to do, especially after she realized she was wrong and didn't circle back to apologize. Maybe she will today.
Last edited by BamBam on 01/28/05 - 10:20; edited 1 time in total
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HighHeat
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Posted: 01/28/05 - 10:17 Post subject:
NO
Outside of a very few select careers, I would say telling your employee to shut the f*ck up is a very big deal.
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robp
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Posted: 01/28/05 - 10:17 Post subject: Re: When is it crossing the line?
| phillycat wrote: | Ok. The other day my boss and I were disagreeing about a document that she thought that I had not updated. She made a really big deal about it in front of some senior officers, so I wanted to show her that she was incorrect, that I had in fact updated it like she had asked me.
We continue the disucssion, because she is still confused, back in my office. In the midst of our arguing, she says to me "shut the f**k up". In the end, she realized that I was right and that she had made a mistake, but I just can't get it out of my head that she said that to me.
I've worked in places before where it wasn't a big deal to talk like that, but it isn't that way here.
What do you guys think? Am I making too big of a deal about this? |
She owes you an apology.
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MastrBrewr
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Posted: 01/28/05 - 10:19 Post subject:
I don't think so. I would be pretty po'd if some said that to me. IMHO, it would be okay if it were in a joking/casual conversion between friends in the office, but there's just no place for it in a business context.
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gretriever
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Posted: 01/28/05 - 10:19 Post subject:
Fully agree with Rob and Heater on this.
Only there's a chance I'd've told them the same thing right back. You can't kill someone who's already dead.
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Cappy
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Posted: 01/28/05 - 10:20 Post subject:
I believe she owes you and those that heard her outburst an apology
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TriBob
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Posted: 01/28/05 - 10:26 Post subject:
| Cappy wrote: | | I believe she owes you and those that heard her outburst an apology |
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andydp
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Posted: 01/28/05 - 10:32 Post subject:
Very simple: your salary does not include verbal abuse from your boss. I would strongly suggest you ask your boss for an apology or you will go speak to her boss.
A really neat thing to do is contact a labor lawyer and have them come into a meeting with you, your boss and her boss. You will be amazed at the attitudional changes that will happen. The lawyer will not be cheap $250+, but it will be well worth it. When you bring a lawyer into the picture it sends a very clear signal: you will fight and it will cost them lots of money
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phillycat
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Posted: 01/28/05 - 10:42 Post subject:
Thanks for the advice everyone. I am still thinking about my next move, but I am pretty sure that I will do something.
My tendancey is just to sit back and take it. That's what I've done in other jobs, but I think that she is really crossing the line here and I don't think I need to take it.
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copteacher
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Posted: 01/28/05 - 10:51 Post subject:
If it happened in our station with the officers. No, foul language is always used, though that does not mean I condone it.
That is highly unprofessional and she at best owes you a sincere apology.
Certain professions okay. Most professional ones no way.
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andydp
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Posted: 01/28/05 - 10:54 Post subject:
| phillycat wrote: | Thanks for the advice everyone. I am still thinking about my next move, but I am pretty sure that I will do something.
My tendancey is just to sit back and take it. That's what I've done in other jobs, but I think that she is really crossing the line here and I don't think I need to take it. |
I'm going to say it again: You are not being paid to have vulgarities shouted at you. That is not part of your job. If you were in a union - you would have every right to file a grievance against that supervisor.
Do not "sit back and take it" !!! Do something that shows you will NOT tolerate this sort of treatment from a supervisor.
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phillycat
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Posted: 01/28/05 - 10:57 Post subject:
| rtpd113 wrote: | If it happened in our station with the officers. No, foul language is always used, though that does not mean I condone it.
That is highly unprofessional and she at best owes you a sincere apology.
Certain professions okay. Most professional ones no way. |
Funny that you mention that. I am friends with the chief of police here and asked him what he thought. He said the same thing you did and that in our office, where students are quite often within heaing distance, it is not acceptable.
I my old job in the textile biz, my boss would swear in ways that would make me blush on a regular basis. But that's the business and his comments were never directed to me.
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andydp
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Posted: 01/28/05 - 11:02 Post subject:
| phillycat wrote: |
I my old job in the textile biz, my boss would swear in ways that would make me blush on a regular basis. But that's the business and his comments were never directed to me. |
The excessive use of vulgarities just shows me a lack of self control and a very limited vocabulary.
Edited to add:
If the boss that shouted those vulgarities at you was a male, would you still "lie there and take it" ? Doesn't her use of vulgarities constitute a "hostile working environment" under Sexual Harrassment Laws ? Sexual Harrassment has been upheld in all scenarios (i.e. Male to Female; Female to Male, same sex situations) You may want to bring that up to her boss...
Last edited by andydp on 01/28/05 - 11:22; edited 1 time in total
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coachmarkos
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Posted: 01/28/05 - 11:15 Post subject:
your boss should apoligize.
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