What gives you strength when things get sucky?
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genie
Master of Prissface
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Location: Finding serenity one day at a time
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 Posted: 11/14/04 - 11:48 Post subject: What gives you strength when things get sucky?
Sorry...I occasionally get very introspective on Sunday mornings... 
I had dinner with a friend Friday night and we had this really in depth discussion about strength, coping and ways to get through the tough times. She's very religious, I am not, although I am what I consider a spiritual person. We're both going through a lot right now and were discussing our various coping methods and the things that we feel we can draw strength from when the days turn dark. Even if there's nothing going on in your life at the time, it's always nice to reflect on what you do have going for you and what kind of support will always pull you through.
What are those things for you? What are you most grateful for when life hands you lemons?
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JACKED UP
PRESIDENT
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Joined: 06 Jun 2003
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Location: www.johnnydu.com
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Posted: 11/14/04 - 11:53 Post subject:
Very honestly, my friends here. That and the gym. Go there when it's closed, just me in my own little world.  
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genie
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Posted: 11/14/04 - 11:59 Post subject:
Me too on the friends part. My friends are my true family and I am thankful every day for their presence in my life. Gotta start getting back to the gym though, it used to be a big comfort til I got too busy. Hopefully this thread will be positive and inspiring to anyone who's having a time of it lately, if everyone shares their strategies. 
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brie k
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Posted: 11/14/04 - 12:00 Post subject:
A few things.
Prayer.
Faith that bad times don't last forever.
Faith that this is part of the Overall Plan for my life. and I have no choice but to get through it.
Support of family and friends.
To be honest, I don't feel strong most days. I wonder how f*cked up the kids are going to be because of the decisions I'm making today. I wonder that I'm not doing enough for their mental health. Lib and I had a HUGE thing yesterday and I could see the wheels turning, thinking that if she were with her father, things would be different. I know she was thinking that because I thought that when Mom did something I thought was unfair. And yeah, things would be different. I admitted that to her. But I also told her that different isn't necessarily better. Yeah, she'll get it when she has kids of her own, but hell, that's a long time to have to wait for understanding, kwim?
My life is challenging right now, but perhaps the biggest thing that keeps me in a more positive state of mind (Not total positive, I have moments of despair and doubt) is knowing that there are parents out there who are doing far more than I am with far less. So I think if they can do it, I sure as hell ought to be able to. Overall I guess I realize that I'm very blessed and very capable of making a good life for the children.
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kristin31
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Posted: 11/14/04 - 12:40 Post subject:
The ocean. And quite frankly, right about now, it is not working. I don't know if I have the strength to deal with what is going on in our lives right now or not at this point. Honestly, I'me ready to melt down.
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Cappy
Excelent
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Posted: 11/14/04 - 13:11 Post subject:
My wife and children, and a few members of the riff raff family
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gretriever
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Posted: 11/14/04 - 16:33 Post subject:
| JACKED UP wrote: | | Very honestly, my friends here. |
Some ladies here, who will go nameless, posted some very nice things about me in another thread a couple days ago. There are times when I feel out of sync with everything - running, work (well, there all the time), even here. And when I read stuff like that, it speaks lots, and is a reassurance, and a head slap, and lets me know that I do have something to offer besides bad comedy.
I really believe that whether one has religious convictions or not, that God puts each of us here for a reason, and that that reason is for good. Whether to just one person or a lot is not in our hands either. Some are fortunate enough to realize it, and some of us are still trying to figure it out (which maybe means we're doing it and aren't aware of it - much like most of my life  ).
Running goes a long way to release the day-to-day frustrations, and teaches me to focus on what matters - family, faith, friends.
Last edited by gretriever on 11/14/04 - 18:27; edited 1 time in total
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JACKED UP
PRESIDENT
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Posted: 11/14/04 - 17:27 Post subject:
| gretriever wrote: |
Some ladies here, who will go nameless, posted some very nice things about me in another thread a couple days ago. There are times when I feel out of sync with everything - running, work (well, there all the time), even here. And when I read stuff like that, it speaks lots, and is a reassurance, and a head slap, and lets me know that I do have something to offer besides bad comedy.
I really believe that whether one has religious convictions or not, that God puts each of us here for a reason, and that that reason is for good. Whether to just one person or a lot is not in uor hands either. Some are fortunate enough to realize it, and some of us are still trying to figure it out (which maybe means we're doing it and aren't aware of it - much like most of my life ).
Running goes a long way to release the day-to-day frustrations, and teaches me to focus on what matters - family, faith, friends. |
I luv U.
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monk25
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Posted: 11/14/04 - 18:37 Post subject:
For me it is family, God and faith that no matter how bad things might get, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Just some perspective: A year and a half ago I was living in the Bronx, worried about my kids (the Bronx isn't the greatest place in the world to raise kids) worried about my rent, money and feeling pretty hopeless about ever moving to the suburbs and getting a house. Add to that hating my job. In a lot of ways, running was my salvation (I couldn't always share all of my concerns). I prayed a lot, (sometimes even while I was running). Things got better. Somehow, with the help of my family and maybe a couple guardian angels (my dad and my wifes parents come to mind), I find myself and my family living our dream. A house in suburbia, a job that I love, finances coming together, happy kids, a backyard, health, you name it. A year and a half ago I had my doubts that I would be here so soon. Now, no matter how bad things might seem, I think back to other time in my life when things seemed pretty bleak. It ALWAYS gets better. Just keep telling yourself that.
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genie
Master of Prissface
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Posted: 11/14/04 - 19:01 Post subject:
Monk, that is a great story!! I remember how excited you were when you first posted about getting your house in the burbs. That's really a good perspective too.....I can see how using your strategy in reverse will also work: if things are crappy now, think back to when they were not. Since life goes in cycles, chances are it will be good again soon. I like that way of looking at life. Thanks for sharing your thoughts--and it's great to see you back again!!!
Gdawg, I'm with you on the things happen for a reason and I'm thinking that not always knowing your purpose can be a good thing--it leaves much room for discovery and learning about yourself. I know I don't always realize that during the good or the bad times. One thing I do know, is that one person's triviality can be another person's trauma, and what I really appreciate about this group is you don't get a lot of that judgmental "well it could be worse, I know someone who has....." crap here. Yes, it can always be worse, but one of the most counterproductive, negative things you can do for someone in pain is to invalidate their feelings by telling them to suck it up and be grateful they don't have (insert random bad stuff here) and compare them to someone else. Thank you all for being human enough not to do that to each other.
This is good stuff, folks.....keep it coming! You guys always come through with great inspiration.
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Kimba90
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Posted: 11/14/04 - 19:52 Post subject:
I'm not religous at all, but I do believe that events/things do happen for a reason, and we're meant to get through them.
I depend on myself alot. I'm a really strong stoic person, sometimes far more than I want to be, but that seems to be the role I have, to be the strong one through whatever crisis/circumstance is going on.
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rolling rock
The Pinball
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Posted: 11/14/04 - 21:28 Post subject:
i'm such an introverted person, i've learned to rely mostly on me, myself and I and have consequently developed a great sense of inner strength along the way -- meanwhile, the real me, myself and I more accurately translates into the Father, Son and Holy Spirit in my life. it took a few years to get that message, but it's so apparent now, and also a huge source of strength.
friends have always pulled me through too, sometimes more than family in the most stressful of times.
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copteacher
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Posted: 11/14/04 - 21:33 Post subject:
G.O.D.
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Laurie Ellen
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Posted: 11/14/04 - 21:47 Post subject:
| gretriever wrote: |
Some ladies here, who will go nameless, posted some very nice things about me in another thread a couple days ago. There are times when I feel out of sync with everything - running, work (well, there all the time), even here. And when I read stuff like that, it speaks lots, and is a reassurance, and a head slap, and lets me know that I do have something to offer besides bad comedy.
I really believe that whether one has religious convictions or not, that God puts each of us here for a reason, and that that reason is for good. Whether to just one person or a lot is not in our hands either. Some are fortunate enough to realize it, and some of us are still trying to figure it out (which maybe means we're doing it and aren't aware of it - much like most of my life ).
Running goes a long way to release the day-to-day frustrations, and teaches me to focus on what matters - family, faith, friends. |
I WORRY WORRY WORRY. I seem to just worry. I am sort of like rr, I just deal. I don't seem to even remember that I could look elsewhere for help. When I come out of it (you always come out of it) then I tell people (sometimes) and they say "why didn't you SAY something??" and I think "I don't know!!"
But all the same I'm glad for friends... they're the good stuff... some of the good stuff that life is made of. And of course 2 young ladies in my life that although I know I would (have to) be able to live without, I cannot imagine how on earth I could do so.
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robp
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Posted: 11/15/04 - 08:29 Post subject:
| Kimba90 wrote: | I'm not religous at all, but I do believe that events/things do happen for a reason, and we're meant to get through them.
I depend on myself alot. I'm a really strong stoic person, sometimes far more than I want to be, but that seems to be the role I have, to be the strong one through whatever crisis/circumstance is going on. |
I couldn't of said it better from my perspective.
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