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keltic63
the kilted one
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 Posted: 10/30/03 - 10:54 Post subject: Update: need some advice
the SIL called and left another message last night. this is 2 voicemail messages, and while they are not extremely nasty, they also are not kind. I have them saved but need to get them recorded to tape because my voicemail messages are erased after one week. any ideas on that? next, the SIL is promising to call me everyday until I talk to her. I don't have to talk to her at all, but what are my rights about civil harassment? should I have to have harassing messages on my phone everyday?
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gretriever
Hipster Doofus
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Posted: 10/30/03 - 10:58 Post subject:
If you haven't told her it's harassment, tell her (can that be taped without her conesnt? I dunno), and that you'll take legal steps if she doesn't stop.
And if she doesn't stop, take those steps.
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Noley
AZhat
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Posted: 10/30/03 - 11:00 Post subject:
Can you get her number blocked off your phone? I thought there was a feature like that.
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keltic63
the kilted one
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Posted: 10/30/03 - 11:03 Post subject:
| nolefan85 wrote: | | Can you get her number blocked off your phone? I thought there was a feature like that. |
I wondered about that too, but 'm using my cell phone until I decide I actually need a landline.
gretriever, she is leaving messages on my voicemail, so the consent is already there as far as recording her voice. legally she wouldn't have an argument because in leaving the message she knows it is recorded.
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cherylpf
crazy cat lady
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Posted: 10/30/03 - 11:05 Post subject:
| gretriever wrote: | If you haven't told her it's harassment, tell her (can that be taped without her conesnt? I dunno), and that you'll take legal steps if she doesn't stop.
And if she doesn't stop, take those steps. |
Can you write her a registered letter explaining its harrassment and cc'd with your counsel and anyone else you think appropriate?
Thats ridiculous, I'm sorry you are having to go through this on top of everything else. What could she possibly have to tell you that would be worth that kind of energy on her part?  
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brie k
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Posted: 10/30/03 - 11:07 Post subject:
| gretriever wrote: | If you haven't told her it's harassment, tell her (can that be taped without her conesnt? I dunno), and that you'll take legal steps if she doesn't stop.
And if she doesn't stop, take those steps. |
 I think you first tell the police that you are getting harassing calls and they will deal with it, but I'd also tell your lawyer as well. Tell her you are going to do these things too, and maybe she will stop. You don't have to talk to her, and she has no right to keep forcing the issue.
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Molly600
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Posted: 10/30/03 - 11:10 Post subject:
 Geez what's her deal? Do you know what she's even trying to go/get?
If it keeps up you can definitely make a police report, at least to have it on record if things keep up.
Sorry and hang in there.
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gretriever
Hipster Doofus
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Posted: 10/30/03 - 11:12 Post subject:
| keltic63 wrote: | | nolefan85 wrote: | | Can you get her number blocked off your phone? I thought there was a feature like that. |
I wondered about that too, but 'm using my cell phone until I decide I actually need a landline.
gretriever, she is leaving messages on my voicemail, so the consent is already there as far as recording her voice. legally she wouldn't have an argument because in leaving the message she knows it is recorded. |
Sorry, keltic, I should have clarified this. I meant, if you call her to tell her, can it be recorded?
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Molly600
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Posted: 10/30/03 - 11:14 Post subject:
| gretriever wrote: | | keltic63 wrote: | | nolefan85 wrote: | | Can you get her number blocked off your phone? I thought there was a feature like that. |
I wondered about that too, but 'm using my cell phone until I decide I actually need a landline.
gretriever, she is leaving messages on my voicemail, so the consent is already there as far as recording her voice. legally she wouldn't have an argument because in leaving the message she knows it is recorded. |
Sorry, keltic, I should have clarified this. I meant, if you call her to tell her, can it be recorded? |
FYI, here's a list state by state of what type of consent you need to tape calls. http://www.rcfp.org/taping/
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copteacher
Adjunct
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Posted: 10/30/03 - 11:18 Post subject:
Steve if you want me to tell you how we handle it. PM me and I will advise you what to do. We deal with this all of the time and I will explain all of your options.
I just feel it is better if we do it privately.....let me know I am quite school on this.
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Maddies Wench
Flailing Homosapiens
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Posted: 10/30/03 - 11:19 Post subject: Re: Update: need some advice
| keltic63 wrote: | | the SIL called and left another message last night. this is 2 voicemail messages, and while they are not extremely nasty, they also are not kind. I have them saved but need to get them recorded to tape because my voicemail messages are erased after one week. any ideas on that? next, the SIL is promising to call me everyday until I talk to her. I don't have to talk to her at all, but what are my rights about civil harassment? should I have to have harassing messages on my phone everyday? |
Call your lawyer. Follow his instructions.
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jrjo
Gone Fishin
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Posted: 10/30/03 - 11:40 Post subject:
Tell her ya got two words for her.. "Bike Racks"
I dunno.. do you really feel threatened? Is she prone to violence?
Maybe she needs some kind of closure and getting the chance to spill her guts is what it'll take to close the book with her. Why not tell her she gets 10-minutes?..so she better rehearse! Meet at a neutral spot like a mall food court or something. Let her spill it and then after 10min, tell her she got her chance and your leaving. Don't give her the satisfaction of arguing or wasting an evening chewing on your ear. 10-minutes and you're hasta la vista.
Last edited by jrjo on 10/30/03 - 11:49; edited 1 time in total
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keltic63
the kilted one
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Posted: 10/30/03 - 11:45 Post subject:
| jrjo wrote: | Tell her ya got two words for her.. "Bike Racks"
I dunno.. do you really feel threatened? Is she prone to violence?
Maybe she needs some kind of closure and getting the chance to spill her guts is what it'll take to close the book with her. Why not tell her she gets 10-minutes, so she better rehearse? Meet at a neutral spot like a mall food court or something. Let her spill it and then after 10min, tell her she got her chance and your leaving. Don't give her the satisfaction of arguing or wasting an evening chewing on your ear. 10-minutes and your hasta la vista. |
first of all, she lives over 3 hours away. she's not prone to violence, she's just very angry about all this. fine. however, I didn't marry her, I married her sister, and that is over. if she wanted to discuss this civilly her messages would not be quite so hostile. I see no point in talking to her as it sounds like she's really only looking to vent on me. I've got enough to deal with. I don't need her anger.
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jrjo
Gone Fishin
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Posted: 10/30/03 - 11:52 Post subject:
| keltic63 wrote: | | first of all, she lives over 3 hours away. she's not prone to violence, she's just very angry about all this. fine. however, I didn't marry her, I married her sister, and that is over. if she wanted to discuss this civilly her messages would not be quite so hostile. I see no point in talking to her as it sounds like she's really only looking to vent on me. I've got enough to deal with. I don't need her anger. |
You're right about the "don't need her anger". Sounds like the phone no. block and talking with Joe then is the way to go.
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Noley
AZhat
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Posted: 10/30/03 - 11:55 Post subject:
IF you did have to talk to her, remind her that you married her sister...not her. You're divorcing her sister...not her. Therefore, it's none of her business. Also tell her NOT to call you again for the time being.
Be brief, to the point and then stop the conversation completely.
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