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JACKED UP
PRESIDENT
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Joined: 06 Jun 2003
Posts: 21238
Location: www.johnnydu.com
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 Posted: 03/30/06 - 15:23 Post subject: Thinking out loud
So I'm really struggling with the funeral I have to go to tomorrow.  I always view the body, always. But an infant is going to be hard, very hard. Family who wants to see her can go before the service tomorrow. I really want to see her for many reasons. She is my niece, my brothers little girl, I need to do this for them... they want me to see her too. It will help me heal and find closure. Why am I so effin' scared?  I feel like 
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j1miller
Puppy Love!
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Joined: 07 Jul 2002
Posts: 15447
Location: Lost on trail.
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Posted: 03/30/06 - 15:26 Post subject:
You'll do it because you love them.
You're scared because your heart is golden.
I wish I could help you through it.
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rolling rock
The Pinball
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 16218
Location: unknown zone
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Posted: 03/30/06 - 15:29 Post subject:
ok, your anticipation is going to be much worse than the actual viewing, i bet. i'm not exactly sure where it comes from, but there's a strength that seems to take over, almost puts me on auto-pilot, but i've been in your exact situation, (not an infant but still the "i can't do this") but when the moment came, i was completely gathered and i did it and i suppose i am glad. if for no other reason, to show your support for your brother and his wife.
thinking about it is completely dreadful. you will be surprised at how strong you can be. i believe people just strengthen at times like this.
i'm sorry you're having to do this, on alot of levels, it's just a sorrowful thing.
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wanttorun100
Member
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Joined: 14 Feb 2005
Posts: 4946
Location: Just to the right of Atilla the Hun!
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Posted: 03/30/06 - 15:29 Post subject:
Do it to help the family - it's going to suck but how will we know what joy is if sometimes we don't feel pain?
I'd help if I could -
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gretriever
Hipster Doofus
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Joined: 16 Jul 2003
Posts: 19385
Location: A moving target in a firing range.
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Posted: 03/30/06 - 15:34 Post subject:
It's hard because no matter how (or even if) they're related to you, it's the adage that parents should never have to bury their children. It's hard because they were defenseless. And it's hard because of what you know that child, the family, and you, will miss in their growing up.
It will, sorry to say, only start the healing and closure. Time will complete it. You don't need to worry about finding the words to say or stuff like that. Even if you don't say a word, your presence there will say a lot to the family, more than words can.
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akern
Member
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Joined: 31 May 2002
Posts: 17149
Location: CTU
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Posted: 03/30/06 - 15:44 Post subject:
Sorry JU. I've been there too.
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robp
Pyromaniac
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Joined: 26 Jul 2002
Posts: 16242
Location: Waiting in line at the beer store...
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Posted: 03/30/06 - 15:51 Post subject:
I feel for you Deb.
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JUJR
Grunt
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Joined: 20 Feb 2005
Posts: 1970
Location: www.johnnydu.com
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Posted: 03/31/06 - 11:27 Post subject:
| gretriever wrote: | It's hard because no matter how (or even if) they're related to you, it's the adage that parents should never have to bury their children. It's hard because they were defenseless. And it's hard because of what you know that child, the family, and you, will miss in their growing up.
It will, sorry to say, only start the healing and closure. Time will complete it. You don't need to worry about finding the words to say or stuff like that. Even if you don't say a word, your presence there will say a lot to the family, more than words can. |
exactly.
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genie
Master of Prissface
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 16194
Location: Finding serenity one day at a time
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Posted: 03/31/06 - 12:52 Post subject:
{{{{Deb and family}}}}}}
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RangerG
Bounty Hunter
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Joined: 13 Mar 2003
Posts: 7301
Location: Gmail Server Number 126
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Posted: 04/01/06 - 07:12 Post subject:
Been there before..and with adults many times, including my first mom and my dad.
Hope you got thru it OK..
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