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robp
Pyromaniac
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Joined: 26 Jul 2002
Posts: 16242
Location: Waiting in line at the beer store...
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 Posted: 11/11/04 - 12:22 Post subject:
| andydp wrote: | Let's go from the guys perspective. Remember what Billy Chrystal said: women want a nice place, a relationship, a future with someone before going to bed with them. Men just want a place.
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That pretty much sums it up.
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Sahara
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Joined: 17 May 2002
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Posted: 11/11/04 - 12:41 Post subject:
screw'em if you want to
Even asking the question makes me think that you're okay with sex outside of marriage so... if you want to (meaning physically want to and are emotionally ready), do it.
Did you have discussions about your marital sex with your children? I'll assume no. Likewise, I do not see the need to discuss sex with dates/boyfriend/girlfriends with them.*
* I firmly believe that talks about sex and your related values should be discussed regardless of married/divorced/blahblahblah. And, if asked pointed questions about my experience/situation by children, I believe in tempered, age-appropriate truth.
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MissLes
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Joined: 26 May 2004
Posts: 1035
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Posted: 11/11/04 - 12:45 Post subject:
| brie k wrote: |
You may be right, maybe I shouldn't wait, but only part of it is my schedule. The other part is my feeling I'm not ready. I thought I was, but this past week of trying to get together has been too unnerving. |
I retract my unsolicited advice then! If you don't think you're ready, go with your gut. 
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Sahara
Member
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Joined: 17 May 2002
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Posted: 11/11/04 - 13:06 Post subject:
c'mon, wasn't anyone else thinking it too?
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HighHeat
Big Daddy
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Joined: 30 May 2004
Posts: 6682
Location: Out of the frying pan, and into the fire.
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Posted: 11/11/04 - 13:08 Post subject:
| Sahara wrote: | | c'mon, wasn't anyone else thinking it too? |
I'm always thinking about it, but I hardly see how that's relevant to brie's decision. 
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Noley
AZhat
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Joined: 16 Aug 2003
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Posted: 11/11/04 - 13:09 Post subject:
| Sahara wrote: | | c'mon, wasn't anyone else thinking it too? |
I thought the same as you.
Do what you feel is best.
Be careful.
Be safe.
Keep the kids out of it or away from it for a very long time.
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bpdou
Member
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Joined: 09 Apr 2004
Posts: 1713
Location: Louisville
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Posted: 11/11/04 - 13:11 Post subject:
| Sahara wrote: | | c'mon, wasn't anyone else thinking it too? |
no time like the present.
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Running Brewer
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Joined: 12 Oct 2004
Posts: 3872
Location: Santa Poco
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Posted: 11/11/04 - 13:15 Post subject:
| Sahara wrote: | | c'mon, wasn't anyone else thinking it too? |
I agree!
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rolling rock
The Pinball
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 16218
Location: unknown zone
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Posted: 11/11/04 - 13:31 Post subject:
this thread makes me <cringe> and then <shudder> at the thought of ever being out there in the dating <cringing again> world again in this lifetime.
oh, i'll throw in another <shudder> just cuz i have a 16 yo son. <ouch, cringe> and an 11 yo daughter <super cringe>
all i'd need is my Italian dad chiming in with the S word and i'd be on the therapist's couch for, oh, 6 months.
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MissLes
Member
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Joined: 26 May 2004
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Posted: 11/11/04 - 13:42 Post subject:
| Sahara wrote: | | c'mon, wasn't anyone else thinking it too? |
Nope.
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MissLes
Member
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Posted: 11/11/04 - 13:43 Post subject:
| Sahara wrote: | | c'mon, wasn't anyone else thinking it too? |
Nope.
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Laurie Ellen
Queenie
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 11286
Location: The Dark Side of the Moon
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Posted: 11/11/04 - 14:13 Post subject:
| brie k wrote: |
Problem is, after all of this, I'm not even sure I have faith that there is a Him, or that I was married to my Him and that's that.
All of this is entirely more difficult than I imagined it would be. |
I know. I feel very sorry for you that you're out there again, at a time when you should be entering the settle, secure state.
But I also feel excited for you... let's face it; even if you did love him, it was obviously not the best match for you... you now have the exciting second chance to get your education, get your head straight, and maybe, probably, find a fantastic match for you out there, someone who will give you back everything you give; someone you can grow old with (as cliche as that sounds, I think it's what most people want).
Lucky girl!
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bpdou
Member
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Joined: 09 Apr 2004
Posts: 1713
Location: Louisville
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Posted: 11/11/04 - 14:50 Post subject:
| Laurie Ellen wrote: | | I feel very sorry for you that you're out there again, at a time when you should be entering the settle, secure state. |
I know you didn't quite mean this as it sounds out of context like this, but to be quite honest, I don't think of myself as "out there" again. I worry that our society sees a "single" existance as somehow "less than," when in fact, IMHO, it is neither less nor more, it just IS.
It's been an outstanding year of growth for me, getting quite comfortable with Brian, and learning how just to be ME. Don't get me wrong, as many who know me will tell you, it was a rocky road getting here, but now I find myself being quite happy being single, NOT dating, not WORRYING about dating, not even TRYING to date, just being single, a dad, an artist, a TRYathlete, a cat feeder, a Camry driver, a Seinfeld lover... on and on. I've arrived at the point, FINALLY, where I can say life is EXACTLY the way it is supposed to be, and I don't need to TRY to change a thing. Things WILL change, but they'll change on their own, I don't need to be trying to force it.
"I need not worry about what needs to be changed in the world as much as what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."
I'm settled. And I'm secure.  There is no rush. Enjoy life as it is, and don't worry about the brass ring, because it's nothing more than an illusion.
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Laurie Ellen
Queenie
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 11286
Location: The Dark Side of the Moon
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Posted: 11/11/04 - 14:54 Post subject:
| bpdou wrote: |
I know you didn't quite mean this as it sounds out of context like this, but to be quite honest, I don't think of myself as "out there" again. I worry that our society sees a "single" existance as somehow "less than," when in fact, IMHO, it is neither less nor more, it just IS.
It's been an outstanding year of growth for me, getting quite comfortable with Brian, and learning how just to be ME. Don't get me wrong, as many who know me will tell you, it was a rocky road getting here, but now I find myself being quite happy being single, NOT dating, not WORRYING about dating, not even TRYING to date, just being single, a dad, an artist, a TRYathlete, a cat feeder, a Camry driver, a Seinfeld lover... on and on. I've arrived at the point, FINALLY, where I can say life is EXACTLY the way it is supposed to be, and I don't need to TRY to change a thing. Things WILL change, but they'll change on their own, I don't need to be trying to force it.
"I need not worry about what needs to be changed in the world as much as what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."
I'm settled. And I'm secure. There is no rush. Enjoy life as it is, and don't worry about the brass ring, because it's nothing more than an illusion. |
No, no... I think single can be good! In fact, I know it would be hard to decide (if something happened to Michael) whether to try to find another permanent relationship or to remain single. I've learned a lot about how difficult it is to live with another person, and it's a shame in a lot of ways, but he travels so much that I've gotten used to being alone, and the freedom that comes with that... and yet it can be very lonely.
I was just referring to Brie's thinking about starting to date and all.
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bpdou
Member
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Joined: 09 Apr 2004
Posts: 1713
Location: Louisville
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Posted: 11/11/04 - 14:55 Post subject:
| Laurie Ellen wrote: |
I was just referring to Brie's thinking about starting to date and all. |
yeah, I know. I was just making a general comment about the world's perception, not yours.
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