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keltic63
the kilted one
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Joined: 17 May 2002
Posts: 8574
Location: under the weather
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 Posted: 11/02/03 - 15:36 Post subject: So I decided....
that I should talk to the SIL. She called and left a message everyday, tues-friday. Friday afternoon I decided to suck it up and take whatever she had to say to me. I called her and gave her 5 minutes to say whatever it is she felt she needed to say to me.
it turned into a 45 minute phone call, with a better understanding between us. I reminded her that her messages did not sound like those of someone who wanted to hear "my side." We agreed to disagree on a couple of issues. I had to remind her (once) that she wanted to "hear" my side and that she needed to be quiet and listen.
she promised that she wouldn't call again, but instead offered to let me make the next call. by the end of the phone call she said "I don't want to lose a brother-in-law. I love you."
Pretty cool, huh?
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Orange Bubble
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Joined: 20 May 2002
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Posted: 11/02/03 - 15:44 Post subject:
My ex-bro-in-law cut off contact with me when he and my sister divorced and I miss him. ++Y+ou are lucky that she is trying to keep you in her life. To be fair, my sister didn't exactly leave the marriage with a very good feeling. She cheated on him and is still with the man she left him for. Is her current boyfriend more mature? Possibly. Is he better for my sister? Probably. Do I feel that I can have a relationship with him as I did my ex-bro-in-law? Unfortunately, no.  Do I support my sister's choice and accept him in her and my life? Absolutely. Whatever makes her happy.
I was going to encourage you to return her phone call but I succumbed to the majority and kept my trap shut. I respect that you returned her call. 
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copteacher
Adjunct
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Joined: 08 Jun 2002
Posts: 20588
Location: Teaching in the Halls of Justice
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Posted: 11/02/03 - 16:34 Post subject:
I would still be very leary of given any other info besides business stuff. Blood is always thicker when it comes down to it
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rolling rock
The Pinball
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 16218
Location: unknown zone
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Posted: 11/02/03 - 16:40 Post subject:
hella cool keltic. 
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cherylpf
crazy cat lady
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Joined: 14 May 2002
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Posted: 11/02/03 - 18:29 Post subject:
Great news. If I felt like we could have had a civil conversation I would have liked to had a phone call with my sister's ex during that breakup. Good for you.
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robp
Pyromaniac
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Joined: 26 Jul 2002
Posts: 16242
Location: Waiting in line at the beer store...
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Posted: 11/03/03 - 09:45 Post subject:
Sounds good Keltic. Like Joe says though, be careful what you say to her. I still have a good relationship with my brother/sister in laws also but don't feel I can confide too much. If it were to go the other way for some reason it could all come back to bite you.
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Maddies Wench
Flailing Homosapiens
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Joined: 12 Jun 2003
Posts: 6103
Location: Seeking out the poorer quarters where the ragged people go.
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Posted: 11/03/03 - 09:47 Post subject:
Keep your radar up. Other than that, guarded optimism.
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MastrBrewr
Saccharomyces cerevisiae
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Joined: 24 Sep 2003
Posts: 6974
Location: outside
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Posted: 11/03/03 - 09:58 Post subject:
Sounds like she may feel caught between sticking with a sister (family) and a BIL.
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keltic63
the kilted one
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Joined: 17 May 2002
Posts: 8574
Location: under the weather
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Posted: 11/03/03 - 10:03 Post subject:
Yes, I am guarded. I realized that anything I said, could be used against me. I'm hoping that it won't be, but I was careful to say only things that I didn't mind being repeated.
I'm in no hurry to speak with her again, but it's nice to know that I could if and when I want to.
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jrjo
Gone Fishin
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 16451
Location: Lake Wobegon, MN
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Posted: 11/03/03 - 10:35 Post subject:
I knew the bike rack approach would work 
You're just simply a charmer there Kelitic!
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shelflifers
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Joined: 10 Jun 2002
Posts: 18633
Location: Austin, TX
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Posted: 11/03/03 - 10:41 Post subject:
Yeah, who needs any more enemies? A job well done, keltic!
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scorch99
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Joined: 09 Oct 2003
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Location: On the road
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Posted: 11/03/03 - 11:02 Post subject: Re: So I decided....
| keltic63 wrote: | that I should talk to the SIL. She called and left a message everyday, tues-friday. Friday afternoon I decided to suck it up and take whatever she had to say to me. I called her and gave her 5 minutes to say whatever it is she felt she needed to say to me.
it turned into a 45 minute phone call, with a better understanding between us. I reminded her that her messages did not sound like those of someone who wanted to hear "my side." We agreed to disagree on a couple of issues. I had to remind her (once) that she wanted to "hear" my side and that she needed to be quiet and listen.
she promised that she wouldn't call again, but instead offered to let me make the next call. by the end of the phone call she said "I don't want to lose a brother-in-law. I love you."
Pretty cool, huh? |
Yes pretty cool and handled quite well on both sides.
S99
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brie k
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 5661
Location: where the wild things are
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Posted: 11/03/03 - 11:05 Post subject:
very  and good for you.
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Sahara
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Joined: 17 May 2002
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Posted: 11/03/03 - 11:30 Post subject:
Well done.
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kattzoo
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Joined: 28 Feb 2003
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Location: Happily at the back of the pack
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Posted: 11/03/03 - 14:55 Post subject:
Glad that turned out well Keltic!
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