Should she be suspended from school?

Fresh, Hot & Wild

My daughter goes to a private christian school.

Apparently last Friday afternoon, the girlie told another student in her class at recess if you hold up two fingers (like a peace sign) it means "Let's meet at 2 to do sex".

The other child tells her father this on Sunday evening (circumstances unknown). The father emails the principal Sunday night. The girlie was suspended for inappropriate behavior today (Monday) because she admitted to saying the phrase to the other student.

The other student is also a 6yr old female. Their teacher is the 6 yr old girl's mother.

We were also told that from this point on if my daughter is sent to the office, she will automatically be suspended.

He also told us they are big on suspension and expulsion this year because they don't want kids who say inappropriate things in their school. They expelled a HS Senior for saying a single cuss word on the first day of school.

History: Last year she had some disciplinary problems that were corrected and what we would consider minor. The principal told us that she would have a "clean slate" beginning this year, meaning her past would not "haunt" her.

What do you say?

The Movie Geek

She's 6?

Then, no. I don't think 6 year olds should be suspended in most cases. Detention (during school, maybe), some time in the principals office for a few hours, an explanation of why you don't say such things, but suspension? Nope.

Kermitologist

suspention? that seems a bit extreme. shes 6, im sure she knew it was inappriate, but she probalby didnt think she get in that much trouble.

if thats the kind of thing a 6 year old gets suspended for, then i never would have finshed first grade. i said and did way worse things.

Hipster Doofus

A private school can be as tough as they want in enforcing rules they see appropriate. Still there should be some consideration - there's a difference between a six year-old and a senior.

The circumstances of the situation have to be taken into consideration too. Some sort of consequence, probably. Suspension, I just don't know (just because we don't know the situation).

Member

No way is a suspension in order. At six, your daughter probably doesn't even know what sex is. It is a childish mistake and should be treated as such.
Now all she knows is that sex is a big taboo, whatever it may be. How is that going to affect her as she grows up and learns more about sexuality.

My take on similar stuff that has happened around here:
Sex is basically talking about your private parts. They are called your private parts for a reason, because they are yours alone and and no one else's business.. It is inappropriate, especially at her age, to talk about things like that with friends. Asking questions of Mom is another matter.
And it would get left at that.

Why must we make our children afraid of their bodies? It's childish behavior, vocalizing things which they don't understand but have heard and are trying to find more knowledge. If she had said it meant let's shoot someone at 2:00, would the reaction be the same?

Edited to add: This is not about sex. We, as adults, make it about sex because we are adults. This little girl had no idea what she was talking about.*
* Some children (victims of abuse, etc) would know more about sex than is age appropriate and that opens up a whole different, very messy can of worms. I don't think it's a stretch to assume that is not the case here.

Member

Member

I have to reply: My kids went to Catholic schools for 13 years (Kindergarden included)

They did the usual things kids do. The school did not tolerate certain behaviors and we told our kids right off the bat we would support teachers and administrators.

Unless they physically hit or endangered someone, no six year old should get a suspension or, in your case, receive a "scarlet letter" that will follow her throughout the 12 years she will be in that school.

Since its a private school they can do what they want as far as discipline. You as a parent entered into this arrangement with "both eyes open". This is way over the top.

Just let me ask a question: is there a written "code" of what is inappropriate behavior or language ? If not, is this punishment at the whim of the principal ? What other punishments have been meted out for a similiar offense ?

PRESIDENT

I agree with most here in saying suspension seems over the top. Shocked

Bounty Hunter

Over the top.

If what she said is grounds for suspension and/or expulsion, I would find another school post haste. This is grade school, not the Spanish Inquisition.

Heck..I did lots worse in a very strict Catholic High School... I was the class Heritic Twisted Evil

Freak du Jour

*sigh*

I...I...I'm torn on this. I know that my son is capable of being an extreme twit. He had notes every week at a few points.

This...is nothing.

This is an opportunity for learning about appropriate and innapropriate words at school.

Jeesh.

Not like she flipped a teacher off from the back of the school bus.

Like Ian did.

Oompa Loofah

Yeah. That teaches a lot about love and forgiveness and the grace about coming back from your mistakes. Confused

Sounds like a zero tolerance attitude.

Boy, I'm glad Jesus didn't suspend me for all the mistakes I have made--and continue to make.

Seems to me you should maybe consider a school that allows a child to make childish mistakes without such severe punishment.

I do agree that a nice chat with the principal about what is OK to say and what isn't OK to say is in order.

Now your daughter probably will have a fear of the system, fear of the admin, possible fear of failing again--even possible fear that she is somehow "dirty" in the eyes of her peers.

Childhood is too short and sweet for that to be so severe.

Did you ask her where she heard that?

The Movie Geek

Member

The Movie Geek

What if it meant kicking kittens at 2? That's still inappropriate. Not nearly as "controversial".

Years before terrorist attacks or Columbine when I was in 7th grade I had dreams/daydreams of some sort of masked men taking over my elementary school and hurting many students and teachers and have a standoff with police. Somehow in this dream I would manage to rescue some of the students and bring them to safety and I would be this big hero.

If I was in 7th grade now and revealed that I would be perceived as a "threat", possibly suspended and closely watched. But I was just lonely, I think and wanting to be accepted and that would probably be clear if folks had talked to me about it.

I think somewhere there has be a line and the ability to be reasonable and see that you know, it's just a six year old who really didn't know what she was talking about and maybe just calling the mother would be the appropriate response. Or that not everything that makes someone else a little bit uncomfortable is grounds for suspension...because then I think the schools are breeding children who are going to turn out a little bit distrustful of adults and teachers and the administration.

Your daughter still shouldn't have been suspended no matter that the school had the "right" to do so.

Frightened Inmate #2

Should she be suspended from school?

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