Saturday Morning Email Clean Up time again

POTFH

The Queen
At London's Heathrow Airport, a 300-foot long red carpet stretches out to
Air Force One and Mr. Bush strides to a warm but dignified handshake from
Queen Elizabeth II.

They ride in a silver 1934 Bentley limousine to the edge of central London,
where they then board an open 17th century coach pulled by six magnificent
white matching horses. They ride toward Buckingham Palace, each looking
sideways and waving to the thousands of cheering Britons.

So far everything is going well.

Suddenly the right rear horse lets fly with the most horrendous,
earth-rending, eye-smarting blast of flatulence ever heard in the British
Empire, so powerful that it shakes the coach.

Uncomfortable, but under control, the two Dignitaries of State do their best
to ignore the incident. Finally, embarrassed, the Queen decides it's
impossible to ignore.

"Mr. President, please accept my regrets. I'm sure you understand that there
are some things not even a Queen can control."

Ever the Texas gentleman, the President replies, "Your Majesty, please don't
give the matter another thought. You know, if you hadn't said something, I
would have thought it was one of the horses."

POTFH

Newspapers

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.

3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the
country, and who are very good at crosswords.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country
but don't really understand the Washington Post. They do, however, like
their statistics shown in pie charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the
country, if they could spare the time, and if they didn't have to leave
LA to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the
country and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.

7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's
running the country, and don't really care as long as they can get a
seat on the train.

8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the
country, as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably
while intoxicated.

9. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there
is a country .... or that anyone is running it; but whoever it is, they
oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the
leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs, who also
happen to be illegal aliens from ANY country or galaxy as long as they
are Democrats.

10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country
but need the baseball scores.

11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the
grocery store.

12. The Lakeland FL Ledger is read by people who only want the obituaries.

Oompa Loofah

Adjunct

the newspaper one is so true

Saturday Morning Email Clean Up time again

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