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thegman
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Joined: 23 Sep 2002
Posts: 3088
Location: 12 yards out.
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 Posted: 04/03/03 - 10:04 Post subject: Religious thought for the day.
I passed a church this morning which had posted on its sign: Stop, drop and roll will not work in Hell.
(Last week they had: How will you spend eternity? Smoking or non-smoking?)
Religion with a punch line. 
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purple hayes
Frightened Inmate #2
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 14462
Location: ON YOUR LEFT!
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Posted: 04/03/03 - 10:05 Post subject:
What church, seems like I've passed the same one.
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thegman
Member
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Joined: 23 Sep 2002
Posts: 3088
Location: 12 yards out.
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Posted: 04/03/03 - 10:08 Post subject:
It's the smaller of the two Baptist churches in Tucker. (I think there has to be a book of one-liners a lot of the churches use.)
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purple hayes
Frightened Inmate #2
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 14462
Location: ON YOUR LEFT!
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Posted: 04/03/03 - 10:12 Post subject:
Must have seen it somewhere else then. I rarely go in to Tucker.
I think you're right about the book of one-liners.
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runswithscissors
Member
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 8797
Location: In a badger state of mind
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Posted: 04/03/03 - 10:14 Post subject:
I've seen that second one on a few bumper stickers around here.
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airehead
Oompa Loofah
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Joined: 12 Nov 2002
Posts: 18788
Location: Between here and eternity...
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Posted: 04/03/03 - 10:35 Post subject:
My favorite was:
"Read your Bible, it'll scare the HELL out of you!"
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jrjo
Gone Fishin
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 16451
Location: Lake Wobegon, MN
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Posted: 04/03/03 - 10:44 Post subject:
"Never give the devil a ride! He will always want to drive!"
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jrjo
Gone Fishin
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 16451
Location: Lake Wobegon, MN
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Posted: 04/03/03 - 10:45 Post subject:
"God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage."
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thegman
Member
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Joined: 23 Sep 2002
Posts: 3088
Location: 12 yards out.
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Posted: 04/03/03 - 10:57 Post subject:
| jrjo wrote: | | "Never give the devil a ride! He will always want to drive!" |
Which prompts me to ask: Why would you want God as your co-pilot? (I think I'd let the Almighty drive.)
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ShannonG
Member
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Joined: 20 Mar 2003
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Posted: 04/03/03 - 11:25 Post subject:
Boy I wish our local churches had a sense of humor. The German church by the kids' school boasted ARE YOU GOING TO HELL? for weeks last fall.
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keltic63
the kilted one
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Joined: 17 May 2002
Posts: 8574
Location: under the weather
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Posted: 04/03/03 - 11:33 Post subject:
| thegman wrote: | | It's the smaller of the two Baptist churches in Tucker. (I think there has to be a book of one-liners a lot of the churches use.) |
There is actually a newsletter for churches that gives them that kind of filler material for their church newsletters!
Have you seen the God Speaking billboards?
"Don't Make me come down there!"
"Meet me at my house before the game on sunday"
"Keep using my name in vain and I'll make the traffic worse"
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purple hayes
Frightened Inmate #2
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 14462
Location: ON YOUR LEFT!
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Posted: 04/03/03 - 11:36 Post subject:
| keltic63 wrote: | "Meet me at my house before the game on sunday"
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Cappy
Excelent
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Joined: 16 May 2002
Posts: 27368
Location: Spreadsheetylvania
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Posted: 04/03/03 - 12:42 Post subject:
Welcome to our CH__CH
What is missing UR
Always liked that one.
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genie
Master of Prissface
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 16194
Location: Finding serenity one day at a time
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Posted: 04/03/03 - 12:54 Post subject:
| thegman wrote: | | jrjo wrote: | | "Never give the devil a ride! He will always want to drive!" |
Which prompts me to ask: Why would you want God as your co-pilot? (I think I'd let the Almighty drive.) |
This reminds me of a fubby story. My cousin Philip is a Baptist minister and a real holy-roly type with little sense of humor. He actually had written on the back window of his van "I'm not lost, Jesus is my-co pilot"...(he changes them periodically but always has some religious message written there) and we were at my aunt's funeral up in NJ where no one knew the area. We are the last car out of the cemetary on the way to lunch, and of course promptly get on the freeway and lose everyone. So we're bellyaching because we didn't think to ask what town the restaurant was in, and were ready to give up & drive home, when out of nowhere up ahead we see Phil and his van!!!
We naturally followed him (and his copilot  ) and arrived at lunch. Being smartasses, we had to go in and tell him, "you're right.....Jesus saved us, dude!" and then told him the story and promptly got treated to a dead serious lecture on how we need more faith in our lives, etc etc..... 
The rest of us heathens were making jokes about it all day..... 
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keltic63
the kilted one
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Joined: 17 May 2002
Posts: 8574
Location: under the weather
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Posted: 04/04/03 - 13:55 Post subject:
| genie wrote: | | We naturally followed him (and his copilot ) and arrived at lunch. Being smartasses, we had to go in and tell him, "you're right.....Jesus saved us, dude!" and then told him the story and promptly got treated to a dead serious lecture on how we need more faith in our lives, etc etc..... |
lovingly referred to as "too heavenly minded to be of any earthly good"
btw, here is the website for those "God Speaks" billboards
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