Religion Differences and Relationships
|
|
 
|
|
|
|
|
|
MechEngDropout
Member
|
|
|
Joined: 27 Jun 2003
Posts: 10474
Location: Off the grid
|
| Back to top
|
|
 Posted: 10/28/04 - 12:51 Post subject: Religion Differences and Relationships
How would a difference in religion affect dating/marriage in your life? If you are a firm [enter religion here] and your partner is a different denomination, would that bother you? What if they didn't believe in god?
|
|
|
|
|
Gogirlgo
Member
|
|
|
Joined: 25 Jul 2002
Posts: 4777
Location: No deal, stalker.
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 10/28/04 - 12:59 Post subject:
Rex and I aren't the same religion. It was never an issue, although we had to think about it some when we had children. Now we observe/celebrate everything our two religions have, and we like it a lot.
I think if people want to work at it, it's totally doable. I think when people don't want to work at it, or have different expectations from the other person and/or what religion means to them, it can be difficult.
It also helps if you have a supportive family, which we do.
|
|
|
|
|
MechEngDropout
Member
|
|
|
Joined: 27 Jun 2003
Posts: 10474
Location: Off the grid
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 10/28/04 - 13:03 Post subject:
| Gogirlgo wrote: | Rex and I aren't the same religion. It was never an issue, although we had to think about it some when we had children. Now we observe/celebrate everything our two religions have, and we like it a lot.
I think if people want to work at it, it's totally doable. I think when people don't want to work at it, or have different expectations from the other person and/or what religion means to them, it can be difficult.
It also helps if you have a supportive family, which we do. |
If Rex was an athiest, would that bother you? [I'm assuming he's not because how much celebrating do athiests really do?]
|
|
|
|
|
jrjo
Gone Fishin
|
|
|
Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 16451
Location: Lake Wobegon, MN
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 10/28/04 - 13:03 Post subject:
My Doctor Phil spin on it is that you need to have similar beliefs and values for a lasting relationship. Now that's not to imply a difference in denomations isn't surmountable, but it's going to make life a whole lot more difficult.
The catch-22 about religion is those beliefs are inherently 'the most' important thing in your life if you subscribe fully to it. And if you become wishy-washy about something as core as your values, I don't see how that can be anything but deterimental to a relationship...you know, the age old "you're not the person I married" song and dance.
So really, I think the journey of religion is such a high priority, it needs to be right up at the top of the list as what you and a mate share. With the years passing and the spiritual growth two people take together, the bond created as they evolve hand in hand within a church is a glue that this world just can't tear apart.
|
|
|
|
|
Gogirlgo
Member
|
|
|
Joined: 25 Jul 2002
Posts: 4777
Location: No deal, stalker.
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 10/28/04 - 13:11 Post subject:
| MechEngDropout wrote: |
If Rex was an athiest, would that bother you? [I'm assuming he's not because how much celebrating do athiests really do?] |
I don't think it would bother me. He's entitled to his view. It's not like we see eye to eye on every matter within both religions. If he thought there was no God and I did, I don't see how that's any different. To insist that we need to think alike on that or any other matter, really, is to treat him not as an equal but as somehow subordinate. I sure wouldn't stand for that and neither would he.
In fact atheists can still do a lot of celebrating. For example, if one were ethnically Jewish but a nonbeliever, there are still all sorts of things to be celebrated: Hanukkah, Rosh Hashanah, Purim, and some other holidays you might not know about that have to do with the harvest, etc. None of these have any direct connection to God.
|
|
|
|
|
phillycat
Member
|
|
|
Joined: 14 Jul 2004
Posts: 1953
Location: Da hood
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 10/28/04 - 13:12 Post subject:
| jrjo wrote: |
So really, I think the journey of religion is such a high priority, it needs to be right up at the top of the list as what you and a mate share. With the years passing and the spiritual growth two people take together, the bond created as they evolve hand in hand within a church is a glue that this world just can't tear apart. |
I think that it really depends on what you believe. I don't think that you have to subscribe to a religion or any religion to have a long and healthy lasting relationship. Spritual growth can happen without the presence of formalized religion.
|
|
|
|
|
jrjo
Gone Fishin
|
|
|
Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 16451
Location: Lake Wobegon, MN
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 10/28/04 - 13:28 Post subject:
| phillycat wrote: | | I think that it really depends on what you believe. I don't think that you have to subscribe to a religion or any religion to have a long and healthy lasting relationship. Spritual growth can happen without the presence of formalized religion. |
Certainly. It's all a personal journey. And for the 80+% of America that calls themselves Christians, Jewish, Muslim, it's all about eternal life, right? And aside from yourself, your spouse is going to be the person you really have the hugest concern for in regards to eternal life, no? So definitely, healthy, happy and successful marriages happen without this journey happening simultaneously, but it's been my experience and many around me, when a marriage includes an honest, open, earnest church life, it is even more fulfilling.
|
|
|
|
|
elkid
Member
|
|
|
Joined: 18 Nov 2002
Posts: 8353
Location: hiding out in Philly
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 10/28/04 - 13:36 Post subject:
I was originally Methodist, brought up Presbyterian from age 8 on. My husband was Lutheran. When he went to seminary I was atheist. Difference of faith was never a problem, especially after we both gave up on organized religion having seen too much of the inner workings of The Church.
|
|
|
|
|
Wicked Flea
Member
|
|
|
Joined: 27 Mar 2003
Posts: 365
Location: Hair of the Dog
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 10/28/04 - 13:37 Post subject:
| MechEngDropout wrote: |
[I'm assuming he's not because how much celebrating do athiests really do?] |
Actually since we don't have to follow any stringent religious rules we can celebrate a lot!!! 
My SO is more religious than I am (obviously) and even though I am told that I am going to H$LL frequently, we get along great.
I just choose to believe a little differently about things. Marriage is 13 years old and still chugging along.
It's not that hard to entice people over to the dark side.
Muwhahahahaha 
|
|
|
|
|
Sahara
Member
|
|
|
Joined: 17 May 2002
Posts: 3345
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 10/28/04 - 13:43 Post subject:
I think this is still ontop... If a person has not been graced with faith, a devout Christian should be less inclined to choose that person to be married? (that's a question)
|
|
|
|
|
phillycat
Member
|
|
|
Joined: 14 Jul 2004
Posts: 1953
Location: Da hood
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 10/28/04 - 13:49 Post subject:
| jrjo wrote: |
Certainly. It's all a personal journey. And for the 80+% of America that calls themselves Christians, Jewish, Muslim, it's all about eternal life, right? And aside from yourself, your spouse is going to be the person you really have the hugest concern for in regards to eternal life, no? So definitely, healthy, happy and successful marriages happen without this journey happening simultaneously, but it's been my experience and many around me, when a marriage includes an honest, open, earnest church life, it is even more fulfilling. |
I appreciate what you are saying and I think that it just goes to show how different we all are in our beliefs. I personally don't think or care about eternal life. I am not saying this to go against what you are saying, just meerly stating what I believe. I think we agree to disagree.
|
|
|
|
|
Pug
The Movie Geek
|
|
|
Joined: 21 Aug 2003
Posts: 8924
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 10/28/04 - 13:56 Post subject:
| Sahara wrote: | | I think this is still ontop... If a person has not been graced with faith, a devout Christian should be less inclined to choose that person to be married? (that's a question) |
It depends on the Christian. If that Christian puts a priority in sharing a deep spiritual relationship both in and out of the church, then that Christian probably should be less inclined to choose a particular person to be married to. In my mind it's a compatability issue.
|
|
|
|
|
pokychick
Member
|
|
|
Joined: 02 Oct 2002
Posts: 5640
Location: City of Dis
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 10/28/04 - 14:26 Post subject:
For me it would be very difficult to spend the rest of my life and raise children with someone whose religious views were radically different from mine.
|
|
|
|
|
RexRacer
Member
|
|
|
Joined: 17 Aug 2004
Posts: 814
Location: A pancake house of ineffable crappiness
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 10/28/04 - 14:36 Post subject:
I think a good part of it is how you view religion personally. I and G3 are both very spiritual people but I don't think my particular faith (RC) is the universal truth for everyone. It is the pathway that I use to connect with God. I believe there are many equally valid pathways.
In fact, I've thought for years that organized religion was God's greatest joke on humanity, in some ways.
I, and a number of Religious scholars, pretty much agree that what we as little humans consider God, if we can even get near the concept, is just a tiny version of the immense beauty that a Creator actually is. Far beyond the scope of our little anthrpomorphic attempts at naming it. Think big, think really, really big, think even bigger still, and we're not even coming close.
|
|
|
|
|
cherylpf
crazy cat lady
|
|
|
Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 17305
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 10/28/04 - 14:41 Post subject:
| pokychick wrote: | | For me it would be very difficult to spend the rest of my life and raise children with someone whose religious views were radically different from mine. |
|
|
|
|
| |
All times are GMT - 4 Hours
|
|
|
