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MechEngDropout
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Joined: 27 Jun 2003
Posts: 10474
Location: Off the grid
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 Posted: 08/17/04 - 13:19 Post subject: Reflections
A friend mentioned feeling old earlier today and usually it doesn't phase me, but today it set something off. It's not that I feel old... I really don't. I'm only 21, and even that seems older than I feel. But I'm just wondering what the heck happened to all my time.
I've never had a great memory when it comes to remembering my life. I can remember anything that I need to know and a lot of things I'll never have use for again. But I just can't remember things in my life. I remember some specific events, but that's it. And then I just remember doing them, not how I felt at the time or how it happened. High school... I really can't say anything about. If you were to ask me what happened in high school, I probably couldn't tell you more than a few things. I vaguely remember prom afterparty senior year. I vaguely remember sitting in biology class. I remember facts... I know who I went to dances with, but I couldn't possibly tell you how it was. I may remember that it was okay, but that's just remembering a fact: that I thought the dance was okay in high school. I can't get a feel for anything. And that's how it goes with pretty much everything.
I'm now a senior. 21 doesn't sound old, being a senior does. I don't have that many things that I remember from the first three years. I remember trips that I've taken and people, but not day to day things. It's much worse than high school it seems because with high school, I rarely did anything worthwhile. So in high school, really important or exciting events stand out. In college, daily life is much more exciting, and that becomes the norm. The standard for exceptional things to remember is raised, and I miss out on a lot of things that would have made the high school memory list.
I feel like I haven't done anything. Not in the past 3 years. Not in the past 7 years. I don't feel like I've ever done anything. I'm no closer to achieving my life's goals now than I was 3 years ago. I can't help but wonder if this is the way it will always be. I'm okay with it being that way; I guess it's curiosity mostly. Everything now will be insignificant in 10 years? Probably. I can't really think of anything I'd do now that I would feel confident saying, "I will remember this for the rest of my life."
Does this mean I'm not living life to it's fullest?
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JACKED UP
PRESIDENT
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Joined: 06 Jun 2003
Posts: 21238
Location: www.johnnydu.com
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Posted: 08/17/04 - 13:33 Post subject:
Stop beatin' yerself up over the bananas man, it's OK. 
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TriBob
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Joined: 29 Aug 2002
Posts: 5771
Location: Lost in Transition
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Posted: 08/17/04 - 13:38 Post subject:
Your supposed to remember college. 
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gretriever
Hipster Doofus
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Joined: 16 Jul 2003
Posts: 19385
Location: A moving target in a firing range.
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Posted: 08/17/04 - 13:57 Post subject:
| TriBob wrote: | | Your supposed to remember college. |
For good or for bad...
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rolling rock
The Pinball
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 16218
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Posted: 08/17/04 - 14:16 Post subject:
relax and enjoy that last year...
life's goals are still AHEAD of you. a-hem.....
i talked to my college roommate last year.  believe me, you will never forget those 4 years, however insignificant they might seem to you today..they'll leave a lasting impression. maybe not the day to day stuff, but the experience overall is a keeper. it may be different for men than women due to our lifelong friendships, but for me -- college was the greatest time evah. stop looking for a meaning; just enjoy the day, the meaning will come later.
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Gogirlgo
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Joined: 25 Jul 2002
Posts: 4777
Location: No deal, stalker.
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Posted: 08/17/04 - 14:18 Post subject:
You sound like you're a little bit anxious about the end of this thing. Try to relax.
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akern
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Joined: 31 May 2002
Posts: 17149
Location: CTU
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Posted: 08/17/04 - 14:30 Post subject:
In order to keep myself sane, I don't think too deeply about things.
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JACKED UP
PRESIDENT
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Joined: 06 Jun 2003
Posts: 21238
Location: www.johnnydu.com
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Posted: 08/17/04 - 14:32 Post subject:
| akern wrote: | | In order to keep myself sane, I don't think too deeply about things. |
Yeah, so how's that workin' for ya anyways?  Might give it a try myself.
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rolling rock
The Pinball
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 16218
Location: unknown zone
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Posted: 08/17/04 - 14:38 Post subject:
| akern wrote: | | In order to keep myself sane, I don't think too deeply about things. |
good advice akey. fly under the radar--it's just safer there
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DCRunningDiva
Look at me!!! ©
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Joined: 10 Oct 2003
Posts: 9344
Location: Washington DC Metro
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Posted: 08/17/04 - 17:35 Post subject:
I think the Wild Turkey is the answer to this question as well. 
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