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Floridaboiler
POTFH
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Joined: 18 May 2002
Posts: 11322
Location: Jacksonville, Florida
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 Posted: 05/01/05 - 08:21 Post subject: Pre Shot Routine
For the men who golf!
It was a sunny morning, a little before 8:00 a.m., on the first hole of a
busy course and I was beginning my pre-shot routine, visualizing my
upcoming shot when a piercing voice came over the club house loud speaker:
"Would the gentleman on the woman's tee back up to the men's tee,
please!"
I could feel every eye on the course looking at me. I was still deep in
my routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption. Again the
announcement:
"Would the MAN on the WOMAN'S tee kindly back up to the men's tee!"
I simply ignored the guy and kept concentrating. Once more the man
yelled:
"WOULD THE MAN ON THE WOMAN'S TEE BACK UP TO THE MEN'S TEE, PLEASE!!!"
I finally stopped, turned, cupped my hands and shouted back...
"WOULD THE A$$HOLE WITH THE MICROPHONE KINDLY KEEP QUIET AND LET ME PLAY MY SECOND SHOT!!"
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RangerG
Bounty Hunter
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Joined: 13 Mar 2003
Posts: 7301
Location: Gmail Server Number 126
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Posted: 05/01/05 - 12:00 Post subject:
A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing.
He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green.
He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, Ribbit 9 Iron."
The man looks around and doesn't see anyone. Again, he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron." He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts the club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom!
He hits it 10 inches from the cup. He is shocked. He says to the frog, "Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh?
The frog replies, "Ribbit Lucky frog."
The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole. "What do you think frog?" the man asks. "Ribbit 3 wood."
The guy takes out a 3 wood and, Boom! Hole in one. The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, "OK where to next?"
The frog replies, "Ribbit Las Vegas.
"They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, "OK frog, now what?"
The frog says, "Ribbit Roulette."
Upon approaching the roulette table, The man asks, "What do you think I should bet?" The frog replies,
"Ribbit $3000, black 6."
Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game the man figures what the heck. Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table.
The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. He sits the frog down and says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful."
The frog replies, "Ribbit KissMe."
He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him, he deserves it. With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous 15-year-old girl.
"And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room. So help me God or my name is not Mark Ryan
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