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elkid
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Joined: 18 Nov 2002
Posts: 8353
Location: hiding out in Philly
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 Posted: 12/08/03 - 14:11 Post subject:
My father would've been devastated had not the 'medic formally asked him. My husband's very traditional, too, so he asked me if I thought he should ask my dad first. I already knew it was going to happen, since I helped pick out my diamond a few months before, so it didn't ruin the surprise.The formal proposal came a month later, Super Bowl Halftime show featuring Michael Jackson, Jan '93, in front of 75 of our closest friends in his frat house (because I'd figured out he was gonna do it that Valentine's Day and he wanted to surprise me, which he sooo did).
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genie
Master of Prissface
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Location: Finding serenity one day at a time
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Posted: 12/08/03 - 14:23 Post subject:
My family is really traditional about stuff like that, so whoever it is had better ask my dad. It's not like he'd actually say no (although with my ex-fiance, in hindsight, he SHOULD have  ) but as I recall, the ex did ask my dad beforehand. He was scared poo-less too...hehehe
For us, being Italian, it's more a matter of ceremony/tradition than it is an "asking permission." My parents are LONG past thinking I need to ask permission to do anything.
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coachmarkos
my boys could swim
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 11387
Location: 1st in AFC West
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Posted: 12/08/03 - 14:25 Post subject:
| genie wrote: | My family is really traditional about stuff like that, so whoever it is had better ask my dad. It's not like he'd actually say no (although with my ex-fiance, in hindsight, he SHOULD have ) but as I recall, the ex did ask my dad beforehand. He was scared poo-less too...hehehe
For us, being Italian, it's more a matter of ceremony/tradition than it is an "asking permission." My parents are LONG past thinking I need to ask permission to do anything. |
may I have permission to PM you daughter?
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genie
Master of Prissface
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Joined: 14 May 2002
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Location: Finding serenity one day at a time
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Posted: 12/08/03 - 14:27 Post subject:
You'd have to explain what a PM is first 
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copteacher
Adjunct
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Joined: 08 Jun 2002
Posts: 20588
Location: Teaching in the Halls of Justice
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Posted: 12/08/03 - 14:35 Post subject:
I asked her father first. Since he was hard of hearing and I was so nervous I yelled loudly my question. Robin's parents would have it no other way.
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gretriever
Hipster Doofus
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Joined: 16 Jul 2003
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Location: A moving target in a firing range.
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Posted: 12/08/03 - 14:37 Post subject:
No way, no how. If that was a requirement, I'd never have gotten married. That's a stone's throw away from a pre-arranged marriage.
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Noley
AZhat
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Posted: 12/08/03 - 14:54 Post subject:
My husband took the old fashioned route.
He knew who the three most important men in my life were:
My father, stepfather and Grandfather.
Both my father and stepfather were happy to be asked. I had the two walk me down the aisle together.
And Grandpa...boy was he thrilled! My Grandpa was a quiet, soft-spoken man. He wasn't the type of man to express his emotions or understand what he was thinking. He was strong in character though and hard to approach. So, when my husband called by Grandfather for "my hand"...he was thrilled. My Grandfather couldn't tell me enough what that meant to him. He was never one to tell you anything he was thinking/feeling on a personal level.
Hindsight, that was something very special to him. Just before he died he said that was one of the highlights of his life. He had had three sons and never a daughter. He got a "touch" of what it would have been like to have one by my husband's asking.
So, the old fashioned approach was nice in this case.
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airehead
Oompa Loofah
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Joined: 12 Nov 2002
Posts: 18788
Location: Between here and eternity...
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Posted: 12/08/03 - 15:10 Post subject:
BC and I had been talking about getting married since the first week we met. So, he asked me first, but out of respect to my father, he told him personally.
Nowadays it isn't out of denigration for the woman, but respect for a family and a father. I saw it as very polite and respectful.
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pokychick
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Joined: 02 Oct 2002
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Location: City of Dis
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Posted: 12/08/03 - 15:16 Post subject:
Ours was more like "Guess what we did this weekend?" 
So I guess we are not old fashioned.
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copteacher
Adjunct
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Location: Teaching in the Halls of Justice
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Posted: 12/08/03 - 17:22 Post subject:
The man whom I first allow to take Hannah out alone after the appropriate background checks have been completed had better ask me first. I would be very hurt if he did not ask.
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RunTexas
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Joined: 18 Jul 2003
Posts: 233
Location: The Woodlands, Texas
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Posted: 12/08/03 - 18:07 Post subject:
| rtpd113 wrote: | | The man whom I first allow to take Hannah out alone after the appropriate background checks have been completed had better ask me first. I would be very hurt if he did not ask. |
Same here Joe..except I would re-word your second sentence to read..."He would be very hurt if I was not asked...."
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BamBam
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Joined: 05 Sep 2002
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Posted: 12/09/03 - 08:15 Post subject:
Looks like the testosterone clinic was giving out samples again 
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RunTexas
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Joined: 18 Jul 2003
Posts: 233
Location: The Woodlands, Texas
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Posted: 12/09/03 - 09:29 Post subject:
Bam,
It's not a "machismo" issue. It's a matter of respect. Respecting me as a father who will raise a daughter who will pick a husband that has the same values her family does. And respect for the girl he is about to marry. She deserves more....
When I asked my wife to marry me (after she said yes) she asked me "So what did my dad say?" She wanted to know that I had asked permission and that her dad approved of me.
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purple hayes
Frightened Inmate #2
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 14462
Location: ON YOUR LEFT!
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Posted: 12/09/03 - 09:32 Post subject:
How can you not say that this line...
| RunTexas wrote: | | "He would be very hurt if I was not asked...." |
is NOT a machismo issue? I know you said it tongue-in-cheek, but it still reeks of testosterone.
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RunTexas
Member
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Joined: 18 Jul 2003
Posts: 233
Location: The Woodlands, Texas
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Posted: 12/09/03 - 09:39 Post subject:
joke...come on. What father doesn't joke around about cleaning the shotgun when her dates come to pick her up?
It's my God given right as a father to scare the hell outa little punks who want to date my daughter.
heck...she's only 2 years old and I'm already looking forward to it.
I smile and imagine a conversation between to high school guys.....
boy #1: "MAN...that girl is hot!!"
boy #2: "Dude, her old man is nutz..."
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