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MechEngDropout
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 Posted: 07/22/04 - 14:42 Post subject: Poll/Not Poll At what point do you give up?
When a girl you like has a boyfriend. And you're pretty sure she likes you also. Do you not even try? Do you ask once for a date? Do you hire a hitman to ice the dude? At what point do you give up? Discuss.
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Gogirlgo
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Posted: 07/22/04 - 14:45 Post subject:
After you ask her what's up with it all and she gives you the answer, you'll know whether to give up or keep on.
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phillycat
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Posted: 07/22/04 - 14:48 Post subject:
This is a tough one. Really depends. First, are you friends with the boyfriend?? This matters if you are and you value his friendship.
My suggestion would be that if you are not friends, to go for it and let the girl know how you feel...that is if you haven't already. If you have and she is just letting you hang in limbo, then I wouldn't be too keen on that. I have had that happen in the past and you end up waiting forever.
On a side note, my husband had a girlfriend when I met him though I didn't know it at first. We went on one date and he told me. I told him to pick me or her. He picked me and we've been married for 2 years now!
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airehead
Oompa Loofah
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Posted: 07/22/04 - 14:57 Post subject:
Just remember though, if she willingly cheats on him, it might spell trouble in the future. (Not that you are asking her to or that that is the situation, but just my 
She will let you know one way or the other hopefully, if you ask. I hope she deals straight with you and doesn't try to play games.
You deserve a good one!!!!
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Sahara
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Posted: 07/22/04 - 15:03 Post subject:
Are you comfortable with just asking her what's up with their relationship? If so, does she strike you as a person that is self-aware enough to know the answer?
If the answer is yes to both, talk to her about it.
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Noley
AZhat
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Posted: 07/22/04 - 15:08 Post subject:
I'd come out and tell her that you'd like to date her if she ever broke up with her boyfriend.
Just plant the idea in her head. She'll remember it.
That's my
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alyson98
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Posted: 07/22/04 - 15:14 Post subject: Re: Poll/Not Poll At what point do you give up?
| MechEngDropout wrote: | | When a girl you like has a boyfriend. And you're pretty sure she likes you also. Do you not even try? Do you ask once for a date? Do you hire a hitman to ice the dude? At what point do you give up? Discuss. |
Don't.Go.There. It spells trouble. Give up now. The timing is not right for the two of you to get together. If it's meant to be things will come together for the both of you. If she likes you enough she will drop the dude herself because she will realize he's not the right one for her. And if you think she likes you than chances are she already knows you like her.
Good Luck with it however you decide to handle it.
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cherylpf
crazy cat lady
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Posted: 07/22/04 - 15:17 Post subject: Re: Poll/Not Poll At what point do you give up?
| alyson98 wrote: | | MechEngDropout wrote: | | When a girl you like has a boyfriend. And you're pretty sure she likes you also. Do you not even try? Do you ask once for a date? Do you hire a hitman to ice the dude? At what point do you give up? Discuss. |
Don't.Go.There. It spells trouble. Give up now. The timing is not right for the two of you to get together. If it's meant to be things will come together for the both of you. If she likes you enough she will drop the dude herself because she will realize he's not the right one for her. And if you think she likes you than chances are she already knows you like her.
Good Luck with it however you decide to handle it. |
 Well said. Sounds like underlying baggage you probably don't want to carry. Maybe she is fantastic and perfect but wait for her to be 100% single and looking again. And if she's looking for a replacement while still attached to the current you don't want her anyway.
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bpdou
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Posted: 07/22/04 - 15:36 Post subject: Re: Poll/Not Poll At what point do you give up?
| cherylpf wrote: | | alyson98 wrote: | | MechEngDropout wrote: | | When a girl you like has a boyfriend. And you're pretty sure she likes you also. Do you not even try? Do you ask once for a date? Do you hire a hitman to ice the dude? At what point do you give up? Discuss. |
Don't.Go.There. It spells trouble. Give up now. The timing is not right for the two of you to get together. If it's meant to be things will come together for the both of you. If she likes you enough she will drop the dude herself because she will realize he's not the right one for her. And if you think she likes you than chances are she already knows you like her.
Good Luck with it however you decide to handle it. |
Well said. Sounds like underlying baggage you probably don't want to carry. Maybe she is fantastic and perfect but wait for her to be 100% single and looking again. And if she's looking for a replacement while still attached to the current you don't want her anyway. |
As George Washington said, beware of foreign entanglements.
And pf is right about Alyson being right. If B/F is a no-go and she's gonna dump him, then you popping up on her radar will be all the incentive she needs. You don't want her leaving him FOR you anyways. Ick. She can leave him BECAUSE of you. But not for. And I agree, no need to force the issue, it'll come along of it's own sweet accord.
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alyson98
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Posted: 07/22/04 - 15:37 Post subject: Re: Poll/Not Poll At what point do you give up?
| bpdou wrote: |
And I agree, no need to force the issue, it'll come along of it's own sweet accord. |
How YOU doin'? 
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coachmarkos
my boys could swim
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Posted: 07/22/04 - 15:38 Post subject:
good advice above...
Run away!
see if she tries to catch you.
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bpdou
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Posted: 07/22/04 - 15:40 Post subject: Re: Poll/Not Poll At what point do you give up?
| alyson98 wrote: | | bpdou wrote: |
And I agree, no need to force the issue, it'll come along of it's own sweet accord. |
How YOU doin'? |
no issue forcin' here...
besides, I drive a Camry
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alyson98
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Posted: 07/22/04 - 15:43 Post subject: Re: Poll/Not Poll At what point do you give up?
| bpdou wrote: | | alyson98 wrote: | | bpdou wrote: |
And I agree, no need to force the issue, it'll come along of it's own sweet accord. |
How YOU doin'? |
no issue forcin' here...
besides, I drive a Camry |
Maybe we could rent an Accord. 
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jrjo
Gone Fishin
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Posted: 07/22/04 - 15:50 Post subject:
Where's the code of chivalry? Messing with another man's lady is grounds for... well... use your imagination 
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MechEngDropout
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Posted: 07/22/04 - 16:22 Post subject:
In my experience, waiting never works. If you go for being friends while you wait, you'll get labelled as a friend, and you're stuck. If you don't, you lose contact. If somehow you're still in contact with them after they break up, there's still a time allowance before you can expect some kind of relationship. Usually it's at least a month, but depending on how involved her previous relationship was, it can be 6 months or more. And there's a very narrow window between her "recovering" and someone else asking her out. I've never put much effort into trying to "steal" a girl away from someone, but it seems like it makes more sense than not trying at all. It's a huge pain, because the few single girls I know... well, I can see why they are single. It's like the saying goes, if they're worth dating... someone's already dating them. I suppose the inverse coule be said of me though.
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