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akern
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 Posted: 03/27/03 - 08:53 Post subject: Parents, Please tell me this is a phase!!
Well my sweet Nichole has turned into in trouble Nichole. It's about 5 weeks running now that she has been in trouble for something every week. She's been in trouble for: Not doing what her teacher asked, lying, sassing mom, sassing grandma, bossing grandma around,lying, and yesterday's latest stealing!
It's like all of a sudden she's gone bonkers. Somebody tell me this is normal cause I sure do feel like a crappy parent.
CALGONE! TAKE ME AWAY!!!
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airehead
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Posted: 03/27/03 - 09:00 Post subject:
First of all, don't blame yourself. It's not true and it will accomplish nothing.
Is there something she might be trying to "tell" you?
ie: something bad happening at school? someone said something to her or bullied her? It's obviously attention seeking behavior--is she perhaps jealous of your time? Are you particularly busy with something new? Has the family/homelife changed in a way that makes her uncomfortable?
Good luck!!!
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robp
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Posted: 03/27/03 - 09:05 Post subject:
Sounds pretty normal to me. Discipline appropriately, it'll go away.
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purple hayes
Frightened Inmate #2
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Posted: 03/27/03 - 09:13 Post subject:
| Quote: | | Parents, Please tell me this is a phase!! |
Only 11 more years and the phase will be over. 
I think airehead is right in that something is bothering her and she's inappropriately seeking attention as a way to deal with it. Talk to her and see if you can't get something out of her.
If all else fails, discipline. She'll get tired of that sooner or later.
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Cappy
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Posted: 03/27/03 - 09:31 Post subject:
We're going through the same thing Allison, so I think its normal.
Hang in there I feel your pain.
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akern
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Posted: 03/27/03 - 09:42 Post subject:
She's been diciplined. We also talk to her, but she just clams up and won't say a word. It's very frustrating. The only thing new around the house is her frightful behavior.
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copteacher
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Posted: 03/27/03 - 09:44 Post subject:
you want officer Joe to pay her a visit and give her a matching set of bracelets?
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airehead
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Posted: 03/27/03 - 09:45 Post subject:
I know this is drastic, but have you considered "tit for tat"?
'Stealing' something that is very important to her so she knows how it feels?
Sometimes, if discipline won't work, sometimes more drastic measures are necessary.
You say she clams up though---so do you think that there might be something there, then?
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akern
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Posted: 03/27/03 - 09:47 Post subject:
| rtpd113 wrote: | | you want officer Joe to pay her a visit and give her a matching set of bracelets? |
My BIL is also a police man. We've discussed having him show up in his police car and having a "talk" with her. Is this too extreme at 7 years old. I'm pretty sure it would scare the bejesus out of her.
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akern
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Posted: 03/27/03 - 09:55 Post subject:
| airehead wrote: | I know this is drastic, but have you considered "tit for tat"?
'Stealing' something that is very important to her so she knows how it feels?
Sometimes, if discipline won't work, sometimes more drastic measures are necessary.
You say she clams up though---so do you think that there might be something there, then? |
She stole a you-ge-o (I'm sure I spelled that wrong) card from her friend next door. It was a "valuable" one. I know nothing about these cards so what "valuable" equals I have no clue. She gave back the card, and in addition to that we made her give him her whole collection. And she had to explain to his parents what she did.
When she is not in trouble she is happy and normal. I can't figure out if she clams up cause she know's she's in trouble or if it could be something else. Usually she is pretty vocal about things that bother her..... 
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airehead
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Posted: 03/27/03 - 09:59 Post subject:
As the guys said, this all sounds really normal. All kids go through some type of acting out sooner or later.
You are teaching her consequences--that is the main thing.
This is designed to make parents grow old before their time.
Maybe Gramma should tell N herself how much her behavior is hurting her feelings.
If all else fails, the police idea might be good.
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robp
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Posted: 03/27/03 - 10:13 Post subject:
| akern wrote: | | rtpd113 wrote: | | you want officer Joe to pay her a visit and give her a matching set of bracelets? |
My BIL is also a police man. We've discussed having him show up in his police car and having a "talk" with her. Is this too extreme at 7 years old. I'm pretty sure it would scare the bejesus out of her. |
When my oldest son was 6 he was playing with the phone in the house while I tinkered with a truck outside. He called 911 "to see if it worked" and when they answered he hung up and went about his business. I'm outside putzing with the truck, in pulls a sherriffs car and this dude about 6'7" and 280 lbs gets out and asks me what the problem is. We narrowed it down to dingdong playing with the phone... I went in house and asked him about it, he denied it twice. Then told him there was someone here to visit him. He ran around corner and saw the sheriff, admitted everything and promised to never do it again. And he didn't.... The sheriff was totally cool about - explained him right and wrong time to dial 911 etc.
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purple hayes
Frightened Inmate #2
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Posted: 03/27/03 - 10:20 Post subject:
A guy I used to work with had his son do that too except that when the police came by they were in the middle of exploiting some hemp for 'medicinal purposes'.
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Sahara
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Posted: 03/27/03 - 10:42 Post subject:
I vote for "it's a phase". Appropriate discipline and providing time for her to open up if she needs to without it being obvious... do some coloring with her, plant some flowers, go for a walk, etc.
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coachmarkos
my boys could swim
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Posted: 03/27/03 - 10:43 Post subject:
probably just a phase, but kids are always doing little things to get in trouble.
Do you remember being a kid?
Deal with each situation as it occurs. Like was said before, it seems like an attention getting behavior. Talk to her about it.
My daughter, also 7, can be a little trouble maker. Not a whole lot at once, like this, but she did get kicked out of computer class this fall for not listening to the computer teacher!
Send me a pm and we can compare our daughters and their bad behaviors, and how to deal with them.
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