Our kitty cat was murdered...

Member

I'm pretty sure, by the local dogs. His poor little body is really messed up. He escaped last night (as he is apt to do) and I didn't think much of it because he always comes home. I took the boys to camp today and came home and saw his body in the driveway -- the kids don't know yet.

How do I handle this? Will is going to be devastated. Every time Jack escaped and didn't return right away, he'd worry himself into a tizzy. Jack was gone for 36 hours once and Will just cried and cried that something bad would happen.

Plus, all 3 kids are at camp this week. If I tell them about Jack, they're always going to think of camp as that time their beloved cat died.

What do I do? I am not one to lie to my kids about anything, but I really don't want to have to tell my 9yo that his cat is gone. Libby and Jake will be upset, but poor Will...

Hipster Doofus

That's tough, Brie, what you need to do. But if Will knows Jack's tendency to get out of the house, then I think (I hope) it won't be as bad as you're worried it could be. Don't explain it in a way that Will would blame himself, you, or anyone else for this.

Losing a pet is hard for kids - it's hard for adults, too. But they do get over the loss, and keep the good memories.

too bad

Member

Member

I'd save it for the trip home. but be honest about it. I'm so sorry I had a pet murdered once by some azzclown as a teenager.

Member

Wait. My dog died while I was on vacation at Grandma's house. My parents told my Sis and I when we got to the train station.

Member

Tell them first thing. Otherwise you're either going to lie to them, or when you don't lie, they'll be angry at you for not telling them sooner.

AZhat

I'd tell them that your cat was in an accident and died. Don't go into details and say that you found him that way. Avoid telling him that he was murdered or died a terrible death. They don't need to hear that. It will be hard news to take as it is. Stick to that and only allow yourself to know what the real truth is.

Sometimes it's best to do that, when you've got one child still so young and attached. The other two may be able to handle it, but if they accidentally tell your other son...he'll be very upset.

This is my

Oompa Loofah

My parents were not honest with me and I hated that. Please be honest but sparing on the details.

Sorry about your cat.

The Pinball

i'm really sorry brie, how sad for you to find him Sad

i'm sure your son will be really upset, just be prepared for that. i'd tell him the truth but, as aire and noley said, spare the details. i'm not so sure he'll even be pushing you for the details right away but he may after he settles down. i'd soften that part as much as possible, and yeah wait till they get home, they could never handle the grief of this while at camp, at least mine wouldn't. i think it's just as fair to wait for them to get home, i wouldn't feel dishonest about that at all, i think it's just being fair. if you tell them now, it's not going to change the fact that he's gone and it will only cause them to have a miserable week away. i mean, they may be fighting that homesick thing anyway, i'd never complicate that with grief, not in a child.

sorry about jack.

PRESIDENT

Tell the Truth. Can you get another? Poor Will. cry

Queen Bee

I'm all for lying - I would tell them the cat got out and didn't come back. That you didn't tell them at camp b/c you didn't want them to worry, and you were hoping he would come back.

My parents always hid the truth from me, for which I am now grateful. I get way too upset when I lose a pet, and I'm glad they spared me that grief. My sweet daddy - every time he "gave away" one of my dogs/cats/calves, I was mad at him, but that was easier for him to take than my grief.

But that's just my opinion - you've got to do what you think is best for YOUR kids Smile

If you do decide to tell them that Kitty died, be sure to have some sort of memorial/burial service - I think that will help with their grief. (((((hugs)))))

Member

Sorry bout your cat....I also agree that you should tell them as soon as they get home from camp...they will eventually find out anyway once they notice something's missing.

Member

If he would be comforted by it you may want to consider a burial celebration of they kitty's life. My daughter and I have had a little service of sorts for her hamsters when they have died. She's big on maintaining it with a little plant - like a flowering weed... for about a week. Then she's over it but still talks about Spot the hamster that fetched just like a dog.

Frightened Inmate #2

Sorry about your cat.

Member

Thanks everyone.

Would you hate me if I didn't tell the kids? I just don't think I can do it. There is a part of me that thinks this is bad, because then Will (who I think is the most attached) will wonder where Jack is, but otoh, it will just break his little heart. I cannot bear that. Like I said, I don't normally lie to the children about anything (save Santa & the Easter Bunny), but this is such a hard thing. We know death intimately already, I just don't see the need to do this to them.

I do think we could adopt another kitten or two even. And never ever let it/them get outside. Wait a week maybe, then surprise the kids.

Part of me hates not telling them the truth, but that's the lesser part. I just don't want them to be heartbroken.

And the boys are only doing day camp. Libby is at the college until Saturday, but I pick up the boys around 4.

Such hard stuff. I'm so sad. Jack was a psycho cat sometimes, but just last night, before he escaped, he was sleeping next to me, just a little contented thing. I miss my furball. cry

Our kitty cat was murdered...

LIFEFORM SOCIAL COMMUNITY NETWORK