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purple hayes
Frightened Inmate #2
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 14462
Location: ON YOUR LEFT!
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 Posted: 02/09/03 - 22:48 Post subject: On drinking and driving, living and dieing
Friday night a friend of my son's was a victim of a drunk driving accident. He was riding in a car with his girlfriend when their car was struck by a drunk driver. He was ejected from the car. They were within a mile of our house when it happened. Police came, ambulance came and the girlfriend has a broken arm but she'll be OK, my son's friend isn't so OK and he's taken off by an ambulance.
After my son gets off work that evening and begins to make his plans for the rest of the night he learns that his friend has been involved in an accident and spent the rest of the evening at the hospital with friends and the family. Seems the young man that was ejected from the car has some brain damage and is in a coma.
It's Saturday now and my son goes on about his day and makes time to go to the hospital again to check on his friend. Seems that sometime during the day his friend has had a stroke and it's looking worse for him as time goes on. My son spends the evening at the friends church at a prayer service.
Sunday morning and I wake up my son so we can go to church. Fred usually balks and wants to stay in bed but today instead he asks if he can go to a different church because during the night his friend was taken off of life support and passed away. He'd like to spend time with his friends and show support to the family on the loss of their son. That's fine with me, do what you need to do to help with the greiving process. It's a painful road, but it must be traveled.
After church, they had a grief support meeting at the high school where the young man attended. Seems he was a senior and 4 months from graduating and stepping out on his own. Looks as though now the parents will only be seeing one of their twin boys graduate.
I'm not sure what it is that possesses people to get behind the wheel after they've been drinking when there's been such a push for so long against it. It's not some God given right or guaranteed by the Constituiton. I just don't understand.
But you see, not everyone that is injured in a drunk driving accident is killed, some have to live through much worse.
The following is a link I came across Thursday before the accident. I saved it to show my son what can happen when you drink and drive. He's at that age when this can come up and it will and I want him to know that teenagers aren't invincible. I don't think I'll need it right now because he's had a much more up close and personal view of the damage that alcohol and cars can do. It shows a young girl before her car was hit by a drunk driver. It also shows her after the accident. Probably the worst living victim I've ever seen. Click on the link at your own risk. Like I said, she's been very badly burned. If your young kids are in the room, you may want to save it for later when they're not around. Link to before and after photos
I'm off to bed. It's been a long weekend. Hug your kids, hug your parents. Hug a police officer and an ambulance driver if you get the chance and if you're lucky enough to have a twin brother, hug him too.
G'night.
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monk25
Member
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Joined: 25 Jun 2002
Posts: 3922
Location: The Beautiful South Shore of L.I. NY
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Posted: 02/09/03 - 22:58 Post subject:
My heart goes out to the family of the young boy who was so needlessly killed, and my heart goes out to your son who has seen tragedy to soon in his young life.
The pictures of the beautiful young girl were powerful, to say the least.
I am going to give my wife and kids an extra hug tonight.
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Earlyrunnr
Member
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Joined: 15 Nov 2002
Posts: 337
Location: Green Bay
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Posted: 02/09/03 - 23:01 Post subject:
I can't even count the times I have had that talk with my kids...none of them driving age yet...I will show them that website at some time...don't know when, but in the near future........
My heart too goes out to your son and everyone involved in this senseless tragedy.
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blue
your favorite weapon
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Joined: 21 May 2002
Posts: 7010
Location: armed and ambitious
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Posted: 02/09/03 - 23:52 Post subject:
i never let my close friends drive/ride home drunk...
but, i always have this damn guilty feeling whenever i leave the bar and i know full well a kid is driving home drunk.. like i should phone in his plate or something...
strange how they'll say "hope your not heading north", and i'll be like what about everybody else going that way?
i don't know what i'd ever do if they killed someone... i know what i'd do if someone i knew got killed... and it's not pretty.
why are people so stupid and selfish?
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genie
Master of Prissface
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 16194
Location: Finding serenity one day at a time
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Posted: 02/10/03 - 00:06 Post subject:
Give your son an extra hug from me tonight, John.....I've been there at his age and it is a horrible, horrible place to be. It's a life changing event to lose a friend so young, when the future holds so much promise and excitement. 
They called us the Four Horsemen and we were inseparable all through school. Two of us were two years ahead of the other two but we all remained best friends even after the older two went off to college. My one friend and I were especially close, and had both confided to one of the others separately that we each felt the other was way more than a friend, but were too scared to do anything about it. You know how kids are, losing a friend was an unthinkable fate back then, and if we started dating and it didn't work out, neither of us wanted to lose the friend we valued so much. Little did we know that wasn't to be our choice.
On the way home from college that summer, he and his roommates were hit by a drunk driver coming out of a bar on some back road near Penn State, a couple hours from home. All four were killed instantly and the b*stard that hit them walked away with just a black eye. I had just talked to him that afternoon and we planned to spend the next day together. Our mutual confidante had finally talked us both into coming clean with the other about how we really felt. I hope that idiot, like the kid on that website, remembers that night every day of the rest of his miserable life. I know we all will.
My thoughts and prayers are with all of them, your son, his friends and family, and most of all his girlfriend. It's tragic enough when a kid dies that young for any reason, but when life is taken by something so senseless it is all the more touching.
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blue
your favorite weapon
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Joined: 21 May 2002
Posts: 7010
Location: armed and ambitious
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Posted: 02/10/03 - 00:07 Post subject:
my dear god...
that is the most insanely terrifying thing i've ever seen...
i just sent it to all my friends.
if that doesn't keep drunks of the street, i dont know what will...
-blue
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Cappy
Excelent
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Joined: 16 May 2002
Posts: 27368
Location: Spreadsheetylvania
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Posted: 02/10/03 - 06:16 Post subject:
Wow, sad story John. Too often lives are cut short by the youngs thoughts that they are invincible, or the it can't happen to me syndrome
Thoughts and prayers go out to the family.
greg
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copteacher
Adjunct
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Joined: 08 Jun 2002
Posts: 20588
Location: Teaching in the Halls of Justice
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Posted: 02/10/03 - 06:37 Post subject:
Very sad story John. I am proud to say that RTPD increased their dui arrests this year by 100 and led the Southeast region of the state of PA in DUI arrests.
I hate hate hate DUI drivers. This is exactly why, They continually give us grief about it but what about the grief that people like your son has to go through.
The drivers can only say they are sorry. 
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rolling rock
The Pinball
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 16218
Location: unknown zone
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Posted: 02/10/03 - 08:24 Post subject:
i try, but can not even imagine the parents' pain in this case. a twin??? graduation in the spring? off to college? heartbreaking. and, in a word, senseless. a victim of a drunk at the wheel. i'm wondering how i would carry on......
no kid should have to say goodbye to a friend at your son's age - eternity smacking them in the face at the age of 17 isn't fair. keeping his friends and family in my prayers.
can not believe how blessed we were almost one year ago today when that drunken idiot slam-basted my husband and child. someone was watching over them that night ---there's just no other way they would have walked away. i'm forever grateful to that angel.
sorry PH.
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camelia bedelia
Member
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 2808
Location: God's Country
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Posted: 02/10/03 - 08:27 Post subject:
| Cappy wrote: | Wow, sad story John. Too often lives are cut short by the youngs thoughts that they are invincible, or the it can't happen to me syndrome
Thoughts and prayers go out to the family.
greg |
1.
Another thing that goes along the "invincible syndrome" is not wearing seatbelts. I hope you know I'm not in anyway trying to judge the young man that died, but wearing one could have saved his life. One thing my dad did right with us was to make us believe the Wrath of God would come down on us if he ever found out we didn't wear a seatbelt, even when our friends were driving.
I hope your son makes it through this tough time okay.
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purple hayes
Frightened Inmate #2
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 14462
Location: ON YOUR LEFT!
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Posted: 02/10/03 - 09:12 Post subject:
| camelia bedelia wrote: | | Another thing that goes along the "invincible syndrome" is not wearing seatbelts. I hope you know I'm not in anyway trying to judge the young man that died, but wearing one could have saved his life. |
I've thought about that too. I don't know that much about the accident either. Maybe if he was buckled in he would have just been crushed by the oncoming car, I don't know. Maybe he would still be alive if he had buckled up.
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TriBob
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Joined: 29 Aug 2002
Posts: 5771
Location: Lost in Transition
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Posted: 02/10/03 - 09:18 Post subject:
Very sorry to hear this John. Prayers to you, your son, friends and family and his friend.
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runswithscissors
Member
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 8797
Location: In a badger state of mind
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Posted: 02/10/03 - 09:49 Post subject:
Prayers to your son, and all of the boy's fmily and friends, John.
There was an article in the paper yesterday about a young boy who was killed by a drunk driver in Madison a month or so ago. The guy took off, and was caught soon after when his car died. The guy had been ticketed 4 times for drunk driving already. They are working on tougher restrictions to keep these guys off of the streets for good. Just sucks that it takes these kinds of things to toughen those laws.
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Earlyrunnr
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Joined: 15 Nov 2002
Posts: 337
Location: Green Bay
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Posted: 02/10/03 - 10:23 Post subject:
Headlines in the local news this morning:
Between snowmobile and auto accidents, 7 people were killed in the area this weekend--all of them alcohol related.
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jrjo
Gone Fishin
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 16451
Location: Lake Wobegon, MN
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Posted: 02/10/03 - 10:33 Post subject:
John, Prayers are going up for that family and strength for your son. What a tragedy.
Alcohol is such a powerful force in our society. I don't have any answers, but times like this show we need something. Breathalizers as you go out the doors? Two drink maximums per night? There's gotta be an answer somewhere. Education is great, but I'm not convinced it's working. Anyway, what a sad sad story.
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