Names and marriage

Member

Dudes, how would you feel if your wife wanted to keep her name? What if she asked you to take her name?

Women, would you feel weird keeping your name? Would you ever want a guy to have your name?

Look at me!!! ©

I like it the old traditional way. I have no problem taking my husband's last name.

PRESIDENT

I really didn't mind taking DH's name until I became aware of another woman in our area with the same name, pronounced the same as mine, but spelled slightly different. This woman had a reputation for running a bad business and not paying her bills. Mad

I wish I woulda kept my own now. And honestly, I don't think DH would mind having my last name either. Neutral

AZhat

My ex insisted that I took his name and that bothered me. I didn't have a choice. I feel that it's something we can decide for ourselves. I would have taken his name anyway...but still.

If I marry again...I will take that man's name without a question.

For myself I believe that if I'm going to marry and share life with someone...I'm going to take his name too. That's what I believe. I just want the consideration of being able to decide this for myself. Not being TOLD to.

Frightened Inmate #2

My wife was glad to take my last name. Her old last name had more Ys and Zs than you could shake a stick at.

Member

My first wife, took my last name. When we divoriced, she kept it. She kept it because professionally she had made a name for herself and changing it would have bought about a lot of attention.

When I got remarried in October we followed the Mexican tradition for apellidos (last names) Her name changed from Father's family name Mother's family name to Father's family name de my last name.

I.e. Rosario Martinez Domingez would change to Rosario Martinez de Smith. The children then take both last names as Father Mother. I.e. José Smith Martinez.

I like this arrangement, but the only issue I will have with it will be when my son, RBito, comes to the US many people here will confuse his name and refer to him by his maternal last name.

Member

Master of Prissface

I remember you talked about that before, Paul....and the fact that he has both an American name/middle name and Mexican name/middle name. Interesting custom though, I wondered about the "de Smith" thing before.

I was engaged at 20 (first mistake) and my ex was a lot older than I was and had been married before, so he was all traditional about me taking his name. I fought that, mainly because, like Noley said, I wanted the choice and probably would have ended up taking it anyway if he hadn't been such an azzhole about it. Besides, I LIKED my Italian name better anyway.

Second one, I had caved into hyphenating and probably would have done that because our two names fit well as a hyphenate. Not everyone's does. The first would have looked real stupid hyphenated.

Now, if I decide, (God forbid) to get married, I've established myself enough professionally that I will likely either keep my name or hyphenate it. If I'm published before I get married, I'm definitely not changing it. Of course, this could all change, depending on who I meet too.... Wink

I think all my issues with giving up my name really had to do with the fact that I really never wanted to get married though.

My friends Howie and Jill hyphenated in a cool way: they both took the "Smith-Jones" combo and use it for their last name. I thought that was neat of him.

Member

When I got married it never occured to me to do anything different than take his name. I think he would not have been happy if I'd have wanted to keep my own. There are still many people that I've known for a long time that will call me by my maiden name. He didn't make a stink out of it, but I know it bothered him for awhile. It's weird but when I think of myself I'll always be akern. That's just who I am. dunno

The Movie Geek

At first the idea that Sandy might not take my last name really bothered me. Like, a lot. It's tradition, but it also felt like if she didn't it would be a rejection of sorts.

Compromise: She takes my last name and we both have her last name as a middle name.

Somehow between that decision and the wedding we decided that we'd take both last names. No hyphen, two words, all last name.

Now I can't always remember if this account has both last names or just mine. It honestly would have been easier if we did one last name, either last name.

Now a year and a half into the marriage I can say that it doesn't matter whatsoever what last name she has because she comes home to me. I would be just fine if she kept her old last name. Wouldn't make a difference in the relationship.

Fresh, Hot & Wild

I've taken the name both times because I wanted to be a part of him and being a part of him includes having his name.

Member

Pyromaniac

I wouldn't care if she wanted my name or not. And I'm not changin' my name, ever, for anyone. I'd never remember I changed it.

my boys could swim

Grunt

Names and marriage

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