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airehead
Oompa Loofah
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Joined: 12 Nov 2002
Posts: 18788
Location: Between here and eternity...
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 Posted: 10/22/03 - 13:25 Post subject: My brother and his wife
just miscarried. Almost 4 months into the pregnancy. Went in for an ultrasound yesterday, the doctor told them the baby had died. My s-i-l turned 38 last month; they had given up trying to have kids and only had one boy. They were hoping for a little girl. I am heartbroken for them.
What to do? This is the brother that hasn't spoken to me in many years. (He's upset because I refused to take sides in a family fight that was none of my business--although I've mailed gifts and cards and given them our email addy--still no contact)
I am very sad at their loss, but I am at a loss as to what to do.
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shelflifers
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Joined: 10 Jun 2002
Posts: 18633
Location: Austin, TX
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Posted: 10/22/03 - 13:26 Post subject:
I would ignore your 2nd paragraph and just focus on your first, Ang...Send them a nice card and perhaps flowers as well?
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gretriever
Hipster Doofus
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Joined: 16 Jul 2003
Posts: 19385
Location: A moving target in a firing range.
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Posted: 10/22/03 - 13:27 Post subject:
| shelflifers wrote: | | I would ignore your 2nd paragraph and just focus on your first, Ang...Send them a nice card and perhaps flowers as well? |
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brie k
Member
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 5661
Location: where the wild things are
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Posted: 10/22/03 - 13:28 Post subject:
| shelflifers wrote: | | I would ignore your 2nd paragraph and just focus on your first, Ang...Send them a nice card and perhaps flowers as well? |
hugs to your bro & sil. Miscarriage is such a hard thing to get through.
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Noley
AZhat
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Posted: 10/22/03 - 13:29 Post subject:
I'd send them a card as well. A card is a nice gesture and will be appreciated. Oh...how sad. 
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airehead
Oompa Loofah
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Joined: 12 Nov 2002
Posts: 18788
Location: Between here and eternity...
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Posted: 10/22/03 - 13:29 Post subject:
| shelflifers wrote: | | I would ignore your 2nd paragraph and just focus on your first, Ang...Send them a nice card and perhaps flowers as well? |
They wouldn't take it wrong? After so many years of no contact?
(These are ultra-religious people that returned a box of Christmas presents from my sister because my brother doesn't accept gifts at Christmas time. All I'm saying, is he's a little "extreme")
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brie k
Member
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Joined: 15 May 2002
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Location: where the wild things are
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Posted: 10/22/03 - 13:31 Post subject:
| airehead wrote: | | shelflifers wrote: | | I would ignore your 2nd paragraph and just focus on your first, Ang...Send them a nice card and perhaps flowers as well? |
They wouldn't take it wrong? After so many years of no contact?
(These are ultra-religious people that returned a box of Christmas presents from my sister because my brother doesn't accept gifts at Christmas time. All I'm saying, is he's a little "extreme") |
I don't know how they'd take it. Hopefully, you send a card expressing your condolences, and they just take that for what it is: concern & sympathy. Do it.
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coachmarkos
my boys could swim
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 11387
Location: 1st in AFC West
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Posted: 10/22/03 - 13:31 Post subject:
| nolefan85 wrote: | | I'd send them a card as well. A card is a nice gesture and will be appreciated. Oh...how sad. |
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shelflifers
Member
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Joined: 10 Jun 2002
Posts: 18633
Location: Austin, TX
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Posted: 10/22/03 - 13:34 Post subject:
WOWZAS! Sounds ALOT like my sister, Ang. (extreme to the max!).
You do the best you can do. If they for some reason don't accept the card or flowers, that's THEIR problem...but at least you did everything you could...
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Noley
AZhat
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Posted: 10/22/03 - 13:35 Post subject:
| shelflifers wrote: |
You do the best you can do. If they for some reason don't accept the card or flowers, that's THEIR problem...but at least you did everything you could... |
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Pug
The Movie Geek
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Joined: 21 Aug 2003
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Posted: 10/22/03 - 13:38 Post subject:
| nolefan85 wrote: | | shelflifers wrote: |
You do the best you can do. If they for some reason don't accept the card or flowers, that's THEIR problem...but at least you did everything you could... |
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Maddies Wench
Flailing Homosapiens
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Joined: 12 Jun 2003
Posts: 6103
Location: Seeking out the poorer quarters where the ragged people go.
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Posted: 10/22/03 - 13:41 Post subject:
Better to do something and have it rejected than to do nothing.
My  .
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rolling rock
The Pinball
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 16218
Location: unknown zone
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Posted: 10/22/03 - 13:44 Post subject:
very for them.
send your thoughts on a card. and what everyone else said, give it your best and if they reject it, you tried and bless you for that.
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runaroundsue
Member
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Joined: 18 Sep 2002
Posts: 6629
Location: supporting GREENer pastures
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Posted: 10/22/03 - 13:46 Post subject:
I agree with all the others.
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keltic63
the kilted one
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Joined: 17 May 2002
Posts: 8574
Location: under the weather
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Posted: 10/22/03 - 13:55 Post subject:
you do what's right, then you can't worry about how they respond. you have peace; how sad and pathetic they must feel for rejecting tokens of affection and good wishes (they surely feel that way, deep inside) You on the other hand, feel good knowing that you've done the right thing.
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