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andydp
Member
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Joined: 23 Sep 2003
Posts: 8122
Location: Upstate NY near Albany
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 Posted: 02/19/04 - 11:16 Post subject: Martian Death Flu Update
hey gang !!
Guess what happened this AM about 0200 ? Yep, you guessed it !! The Martian Death FLu has landed.
Some of you asked about the Martian Death Flu - I'm adding a couple of paragraphs from the article by Dave Barry:
An Invasion from Mars: Get your feet up - and don't move
By Dave Barry
We have the flu. I don't know if this particular strain has an official
name, but if it does, it must be something like "Martian Death Flu." You
may have had it yourself. The main symptom is that you wish you had
another setting on your electric blanket, up past "High", that said:
"Electrocution."
Another symptom is that you cease brushing your teeth because [a] your
teeth hurt and [b] you lack the strength. Midway through the brushing
process, you'd have to lie down in front of the sink to rest for a couple
of hours, and rivulets of toothpaste foam would dribble sideways out of
your mouth, eventually hardening into crusty little toothpaste stalagtites
that would bond your head permanently to the bathroom floor, which is how the police would find you. You know the kind of flu I'm talking about.
The rest of the article can be found at:
http://www.cs.unc.edu/~davemc/Humor/signs.txt
Now you know. Excuse me I have to go RIGHT NOW !!
Andy
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Maddies Wench
Flailing Homosapiens
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Joined: 12 Jun 2003
Posts: 6103
Location: Seeking out the poorer quarters where the ragged people go.
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Posted: 02/19/04 - 13:44 Post subject: Re: Martian Death Flu Update
| andydp wrote: | hey gang !!
Guess what happened this AM about 0200 ? Yep, you guessed it !! The Martian Death FLu has landed.
Some of you asked about the Martian Death Flu - I'm adding a couple of paragraphs from the article by Dave Barry:
An Invasion from Mars: Get your feet up - and don't move
By Dave Barry
We have the flu. I don't know if this particular strain has an official
name, but if it does, it must be something like "Martian Death Flu." You
may have had it yourself. The main symptom is that you wish you had
another setting on your electric blanket, up past "High", that said:
"Electrocution."
Another symptom is that you cease brushing your teeth because [a] your
teeth hurt and [b] you lack the strength. Midway through the brushing
process, you'd have to lie down in front of the sink to rest for a couple
of hours, and rivulets of toothpaste foam would dribble sideways out of
your mouth, eventually hardening into crusty little toothpaste stalagtites
that would bond your head permanently to the bathroom floor, which is how the police would find you. You know the kind of flu I'm talking about.
The rest of the article can be found at:
http://www.cs.unc.edu/~davemc/Humor/signs.txt
Now you know. Excuse me I have to go RIGHT NOW !!
Andy |
Ummm yeah....you can stay in NY for a while...mkay?
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andydp
Member
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Joined: 23 Sep 2003
Posts: 8122
Location: Upstate NY near Albany
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Posted: 02/20/04 - 10:39 Post subject:
Happy to report 90% of the Martian Death Flu has gone away. Just don't ask for any strenous physical action right now. Also make sure I have rapid accees to a potty...
I miss my coffee !! Heck, I miss my food !!
Have a GREAT weekend all !!
Andy
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andydp
Member
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Joined: 23 Sep 2003
Posts: 8122
Location: Upstate NY near Albany
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Posted: 02/22/04 - 17:35 Post subject:
This Just in:
Son returned from raucous rock and roll/Mardi Gras weekend in Burlington VT and guess what ? He has contracted the Martian Death Flu. Signs of life are apparent though limited mobility is evident.
Film at 11.
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