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andydp
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Joined: 23 Sep 2003
Posts: 8122
Location: Upstate NY near Albany
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 Posted: 10/14/05 - 12:01 Post subject: Married guys: If only this wasn't a fantasy...
Dear Husband: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.
These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either
you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.
P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Your EX-Wife
And the reply ....
Dear Ex-Wife:
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for twenty million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed Rich As Hell and Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
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airehead
Oompa Loofah
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Joined: 12 Nov 2002
Posts: 18788
Location: Between here and eternity...
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Posted: 10/14/05 - 12:17 Post subject:
My fantasy would be that more married couples would be faithful to each other. 
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ShannonG
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Joined: 20 Mar 2003
Posts: 4858
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Posted: 10/14/05 - 13:00 Post subject:
| airehead wrote: | | My fantasy would be that more married couples would be faithful to each other. |
WELL WHERE'S THE FUN IN THAT??????
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airehead
Oompa Loofah
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Joined: 12 Nov 2002
Posts: 18788
Location: Between here and eternity...
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Posted: 10/14/05 - 13:05 Post subject:
| ShannonG wrote: | | airehead wrote: | | My fantasy would be that more married couples would be faithful to each other. |
WELL WHERE'S THE FUN IN THAT??????
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Yeah, I know. Team Prude here to muck up the fub!!!! 
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prohemp
Member
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 7716
Location: in the cradle of liberty
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Posted: 10/14/05 - 13:06 Post subject:
Call me crazy but I don't see having won $20 million as being rich as hell 
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MechEngDropout
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Joined: 27 Jun 2003
Posts: 10474
Location: Off the grid
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Posted: 10/14/05 - 13:07 Post subject:
| prohemp wrote: | | Call me crazy but I don't see having won $20 million as being rich as hell |
Uhhh, what would you consider rich as hell?
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airehead
Oompa Loofah
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Joined: 12 Nov 2002
Posts: 18788
Location: Between here and eternity...
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Posted: 10/14/05 - 13:14 Post subject:
| MechEngDropout wrote: | | prohemp wrote: | | Call me crazy but I don't see having won $20 million as being rich as hell |
Uhhh, what would you consider rich as hell? |
20 million and 1 dollars.
It was good enough for Dr. Evil.... 
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prohemp
Member
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 7716
Location: in the cradle of liberty
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Posted: 10/14/05 - 13:33 Post subject:
| MechEngDropout wrote: | | prohemp wrote: | | Call me crazy but I don't see having won $20 million as being rich as hell |
Uhhh, what would you consider rich as hell? |
$100 million and up
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blue
your favorite weapon
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Joined: 21 May 2002
Posts: 7010
Location: armed and ambitious
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Posted: 10/14/05 - 14:11 Post subject:
i'd say $20 million is pretty good.
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Floridaboiler
POTFH
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Joined: 18 May 2002
Posts: 11322
Location: Jacksonville, Florida
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Posted: 10/14/05 - 19:10 Post subject:
I liked that one!
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