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Noley
AZhat
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 Posted: 03/29/05 - 10:19 Post subject:
| Gogirlgo wrote: | At their 25th anniversary party, my uncle toasted my aunt by saying "The first 25 years are the hardest."
o people who spin some old folktale about time frames. Different strokes for different folks.
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That's why I didn't want to continue what I was doing. I kept thinking that 5 years was the hardest...then 6...7...8...9...10...11! Oh my. To think 25 years or the rest of your life like that was mind boggling. That was my reason to get out. It seems selfish to some, but it was not working for either of us. Why be unhappy for that long where there's life to live?
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DCRunningDiva
Look at me!!! ©
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Joined: 10 Oct 2003
Posts: 9344
Location: Washington DC Metro
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Posted: 03/29/05 - 10:26 Post subject:
| Gogirlgo wrote: | | My advice is to not listen to people who spin some old folktale about time frames. Different strokes for different folks. |
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thecatspajamas
kooky dame
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Joined: 15 Mar 2005
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Location: The Back Of The Pack
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Posted: 03/29/05 - 10:28 Post subject:
Thank you everybody. I should have mentioned at the outset that my hub and I are not miserable. I guess it's like any other marriage: One day we're spending as much time together as possible, getting a kick out of small things, and the next day is chinese torture and we feel like we don't know each other at all. We always resolve things, and we have both assured the other that there's never a moment when the love is gone, even during our worst fights, and we would never end. I guess you just have to take each day at a time. I absolutely agree that we are not having kids until I feel like our relationship is on an even coast. I'm already a pessimistic person and feel my husband doesn't pay enough attention to me, without having children and worrying that he doesn't pay enough attention to them.
On a happy note, today is starting off as one of our good days. 
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runswithscissors
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Location: In a badger state of mind
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Posted: 03/29/05 - 10:29 Post subject:
Well, it's gotta depend on the relationship. It will be 6 years this fall for me, and I honestly can't see it getting any easier, or harder for that matter. We are as much in love today than we were 'back in the day'. And if kids are speedbumps, I wouldn't mind hitting a few more! 
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Noley
AZhat
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Posted: 03/29/05 - 10:34 Post subject:
| thecatspajamas wrote: | I absolutely agree that we are not having kids until I feel like our relationship is on an even coast.
I'm already a pessimistic person and feel my husband doesn't pay enough attention to me, without having children and worrying that he doesn't pay enough attention to them.
On a happy note, today is starting off as one of our good days. |
1) Keep that thinking going with not having children until things are resolved. Children do not make things better nor easier.
2) Really look at your comment about your husband not paying enough attention to you. This is a huge red flag to me. I've lived this life. If he doesn't now and doesn't make changes...HE NEVER WILL. Not for you or children. Get the help. It just doesn't get better or go away.
3) HAVE A NICE DAY! I hate to bring your happy day down with such comments to you. I'm just telling you that I know exactly where you're coming from and I now come from a failed marriage.
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MechEngDropout
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Joined: 27 Jun 2003
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Location: Off the grid
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Posted: 03/29/05 - 10:34 Post subject:
| runswithscissors wrote: | | And if kids are speedbumps, I wouldn't mind hitting a few more! |
I wouldn't mind hitting a few kids either.
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MastrBrewr
Saccharomyces cerevisiae
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Joined: 24 Sep 2003
Posts: 6974
Location: outside
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Posted: 03/29/05 - 10:35 Post subject:
| MechEngDropout wrote: |
I wouldn't mind hitting a few kids either. |
<snort!>
just got tea on my monitor....
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robp
Pyromaniac
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Joined: 26 Jul 2002
Posts: 16242
Location: Waiting in line at the beer store...
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Posted: 03/29/05 - 10:39 Post subject:
I don't offer marital advice because I apparently don't know how to keep one together......
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MastrBrewr
Saccharomyces cerevisiae
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Joined: 24 Sep 2003
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Location: outside
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Posted: 03/29/05 - 10:40 Post subject:
| robp wrote: | | I don't offer marital advice because I apparently don't know how to keep one together...... |
And remember kids, the common thread in all your failed relationships is you.
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thecatspajamas
kooky dame
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Joined: 15 Mar 2005
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Location: The Back Of The Pack
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Posted: 03/29/05 - 10:44 Post subject:
Good God, ya'll.
When I started this this morning, I actually was kind of joking (hence the head-banging emoticon). After some serious thought though.....
...yer bringin me DOWWWWWNNNNNN....
J/k. Thanks for the advice.
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jrjo
Gone Fishin
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Joined: 15 May 2002
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Location: Lake Wobegon, MN
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Posted: 03/29/05 - 10:46 Post subject:
| Gogirlgo wrote: | | My advice is to not listen to people who spin some old folktale about time frames. Different strokes for different folks. |
Coming up on 15-yrs for me & the mrs. It started easy and has gotten easier. Children have drawn us closer. Having less money makes it 'easier' for us.
Marriage is kinda like running. For the best results, it's not necessarily about time and distance, but "effort".
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robp
Pyromaniac
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Joined: 26 Jul 2002
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Location: Waiting in line at the beer store...
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Posted: 03/29/05 - 10:46 Post subject:
| MastrBrewr wrote: |
And remember kids, the common thread in all your failed relationships is you.
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Yes I was informed of this fact approximately 8,987 times. I was also informed that, and I quote, "she was the perfect wife and mother".....
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HYPERASHEL
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Joined: 18 Nov 2003
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Location: The South's Sauna, Atlanta
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Posted: 03/29/05 - 12:05 Post subject:
i only made it to 4 years. 
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spongebob
Former FFL Champion
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Posted: 03/29/05 - 12:51 Post subject:
| nolefan85 wrote: |
1) Keep that thinking going with not having children until things are resolved. Children do not make things better nor easier.
2) Really look at your comment about your husband not paying enough attention to you. This is a huge red flag to me. I've lived this life. If he doesn't now and doesn't make changes...HE NEVER WILL. Not for you or children. Get the help. It just doesn't get better or go away.
3) HAVE A NICE DAY! I hate to bring your happy day down with such comments to you. I'm just telling you that I know exactly where you're coming from and I now come from a failed marriage. |
What were you two saying?
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akern
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Joined: 31 May 2002
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Location: CTU
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Posted: 03/29/05 - 13:20 Post subject:
| Runner X wrote: |
What were you two saying? |
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