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kristin31
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Location: Caught in the crossfire of childhood and stardom
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 Posted: 11/26/02 - 20:53 Post subject: Just curious - adults having children but not being married.
Just curious - Do you think that's odd? If two responsible, hard-working fairly successful people to have a child (ren), live together but not be married?
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Soigneur
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Posted: 11/26/02 - 20:58 Post subject:
Its considered pretty normal here, not even remotely odd. Is it not so in the US???
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copteacher
Adjunct
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Location: Teaching in the Halls of Justice
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Posted: 11/26/02 - 21:07 Post subject:
my aunt and uncle have been married over 25 years
no kids
never asked why
some people cannot have kids
or just choose not too
no biggie really
the soceital (albeit wrong) equates marriage with kids
if two people want to spend all their time together and not have kids
that is okay
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AlaninTX
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Posted: 11/26/02 - 21:10 Post subject:
It isn't odd to me now. Times and attitudes change.
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Laurie Ellen
Queenie
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Posted: 11/26/02 - 21:26 Post subject:
I agree with Alan. I don't think people think anything of it anymore.
Thinking about the pitterpatter of little feets? 
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cherylpf
crazy cat lady
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Posted: 11/26/02 - 21:54 Post subject:
No, not odd and actually fairly common these days. One of my sisters did it for a while but broke down and bought the cow or the farm....or, oh geez, whats the old saying?? i dunno. But I think that a child with two loving caring non-married parents is probably better than one with some of the dead beat do-nothing husbands (or wives for that matter) that are out there. And I can think of a few right off the cuff that are basically husbands for show.
Yes, good point LE, inquiring minds...babies??? Little Kris's and Kristens??  I love babies!
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AlaninTX
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Posted: 11/26/02 - 22:03 Post subject:
| cherylpf wrote: | No, not odd and actually fairly common these days. One of my sisters did it for a while but broke down and bought the cow or the farm....or, oh geez, whats the old saying?? i dunno. But I think that a child with two loving caring non-married parents is probably better than one with some of the dead beat do-nothing husbands (or wives for that matter) that are out there. And I can think of a few right off the cuff that are basically husbands for show.
Yes, good point LE, inquiring minds...babies??? Little Kris's and Kristens?? I love babies! |
"Why by the cow when you are getting free milk" is the saying you are looking for.
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AlaninTX
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Posted: 11/26/02 - 22:07 Post subject:
| Soigneur wrote: | | Its considered pretty normal here, not even remotely odd. Is it not so in the US??? |
I have a confession...I haven't asked because I thought sooner or later someone would say something revealing. Now I am dying of curiousity.
Soigneur, I have no idea where you are from.  All I know is we are on opposite sides of the International Date Line New Zeland? Australia? Somewhere I missed something 
However,  and 
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cherylpf
crazy cat lady
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Posted: 11/26/02 - 22:15 Post subject:
| AlaninTX wrote: | | "Why by the cow when you are getting free milk" is the saying you are looking for. |
Aahh...yeah...definitely what I was struggling to get to, not quite the meaning I was going for...
glad my sisters don't check this forum!!
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Soigneur
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Posted: 11/26/02 - 22:48 Post subject:
| AlaninTX wrote: | | Soigneur wrote: | | Its considered pretty normal here, not even remotely odd. Is it not so in the US??? |
I have a confession...I haven't asked because I thought sooner or later someone would say something revealing. Now I am dying of curiousity.
Soigneur, I have no idea where you are from. All I know is we are on opposite sides of the International Date Line New Zeland? Australia? Somewhere I missed something
However, and |
back at you Alan  . I'm in NZ  . And i have no children..
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Cappy
Excelent
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Posted: 11/27/02 - 07:27 Post subject:
I think it is okay too. Its not nearly as taboo as it was many years ago. A lot of couples are living together now anyway. Responsibiliy is the most important part.
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rolling rock
The Pinball
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Posted: 11/27/02 - 08:39 Post subject:
well, i know for a fact it isn't accepted in Nigeria. i saw an Amnesty Intl blurb on TV recently about a young woman sentenced to death by STONING for having a child out of wedlock. they are waiting till the baby girl has finished nursing to carry out her sentence 
God Bless America.
i know of traditional families where everything is going wrong. a marriage certificate does not make for good parenting, believe me.
just be there. that's all. married or not, it's the longest run of your life.
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Sahara
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Posted: 11/27/02 - 10:20 Post subject:
I don't think that it's odd, at all.
The only issue I see is one not really related to the children part, but ...
I insist that my children call adults by Mr. so-and-so or Mrs., or Ms., Miss. When they aren't married, my children sometimes stumble over the Mrs./Miss/Ms. thing. They also aren't sure which last name to use. Not a problem at all, just a related tidbit.
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Lord Vader
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Posted: 11/27/02 - 11:15 Post subject:
I don't think it's unusual. Some people just want to keep their options open and not commit to the institution of marriage. Nothing wrong with that.
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akern
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Posted: 11/27/02 - 11:53 Post subject:
I see nothing wrong with it either. Do what ya gotta do. I'm all about the happiness.
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