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Phar lap
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Joined: 20 Jun 2003
Posts: 1006
Location: A flawed Utopia
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 Posted: 06/20/03 - 03:40 Post subject: Jogging is a killer
Sad that my first post is to warn all of you over there that Jogging is a killer. Thats right a killer!!! so after 38 years I'm giving it away.
The other night down at our local, this bloke jogs up to the peanut machine a shoves a couple of coins in the slot, held the bag under the hole while jogging on the spot. Mind you he had just bowled over thirty or so stouts, so a few lights started flashing and when the peanuts didn't appear he collapsed . Just like that. When the bartender prised the coins out of his hands and gently tipped the ashtray down his throat to revive him, the joggers last words were: "Jogging, tell them before its too late..... for the love of God" We carried him off to the crematorium and scattered the ashes of his "Tiger Montereals" over the car park of the Skinny Dog Hotel.
I gave up serious racing years ago so any jogging these days is about increasing your heart rate and fitness. So given that it is a scientific fact that when a man drinks fifteen pots of beer , his heart beats like a bl**dy beauty, so my point is that jogging is absolutly and totally futile.
Given that a mans heart beats 300 times a jug depending on who is dipping out on their shout, we know that a man jogging as he drinks will surely expire before he does one lap of the block. If he's on straight rums he probally will not make it to the front gate. He will most likely be found in some council street sweeper's refuse bin - the only thing left a bit of old track suit and a half packet of Quick Eze (antacid tablets)
So who will join me ? Lets give this running /jogging away. 
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keltic63
the kilted one
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Joined: 17 May 2002
Posts: 8574
Location: under the weather
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Posted: 06/20/03 - 07:58 Post subject:
ummm, right....
so who here likes  ????
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rolling rock
The Pinball
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 16218
Location: unknown zone
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Posted: 06/20/03 - 08:05 Post subject: Re: Jogging is a killer
| Phar lap wrote: |
So who will join me ? Lets give this running /jogging away. |
um, i'd sooner give my jugs away. 
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keltic63
the kilted one
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Joined: 17 May 2002
Posts: 8574
Location: under the weather
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Posted: 06/20/03 - 08:07 Post subject: Re: Jogging is a killer
| rolling rock wrote: | | Phar lap wrote: |
So who will join me ? Lets give this running /jogging away. |
um, i'd sooner give my jugs away. |
don't give 'em away. sell 'em on E-Bay!!
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kattzoo
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Joined: 28 Feb 2003
Posts: 3813
Location: Happily at the back of the pack
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Posted: 06/20/03 - 08:12 Post subject:
I blame the faulty peanut machine.
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AlaninTX
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 6582
Location: Austin, Texas
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Posted: 06/20/03 - 09:02 Post subject:
Welcome aboard, though I have to give your post a 
I will admit there have been times on my runs when I pondered the charms of my college days where much alcohol and little running was involved.
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Laurie Ellen
Queenie
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 11286
Location: The Dark Side of the Moon
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Posted: 06/20/03 - 09:06 Post subject:
These shennanigans have to be expected when Daddy's away.
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monk25
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Joined: 25 Jun 2002
Posts: 3922
Location: The Beautiful South Shore of L.I. NY
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Posted: 06/20/03 - 09:18 Post subject: Re: Jogging is a killer
| keltic63 wrote: | | rolling rock wrote: | | Phar lap wrote: |
So who will join me ? Lets give this running /jogging away. |
um, i'd sooner give my jugs away. |
don't give 'em away. sell 'em on E-Bay!! |
I will need pictures before I bid... 
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shelflifers
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Joined: 10 Jun 2002
Posts: 18633
Location: Austin, TX
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Posted: 06/20/03 - 09:25 Post subject:
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genie
Master of Prissface
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 16194
Location: Finding serenity one day at a time
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Posted: 06/20/03 - 09:45 Post subject:
Has MM gone and recruited his cousins now?
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