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purple hayes
Frightened Inmate #2
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 14462
Location: ON YOUR LEFT!
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 Posted: 10/15/02 - 08:54 Post subject: Job opening
Looks like my company is going to hire someone for a new position that they are creating.
Here's a list of important qualifications each potential applicant must meet:
Do you like to get off from work at noon of Fridays?
Do you like to have a kitchen stocked full of free food?
Do you like an extremely relaxed work atmosphere?
Do you like having a low pressure job?
Do you like having off every major holiday including 2.5 days for Thanksgiving and up to 12 days at Christmas/New Years?
How about unlimited sick days?
Would a pay check that is double what you would make doing the same work elsewhere be OK with you?
If your employer paid for 75% of your health insurance would you be OK with that?
And if you employer paid 50 cents on the dollar for your 401(k) would you be satisfied?
Totally unfiltered internet access?
If you answered yes to at least two of the above questions, I may have just the job for you.
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runswithscissors
Member
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 8797
Location: In a badger state of mind
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Posted: 10/15/02 - 08:56 Post subject:
Yes, but, what kind of experience must one have? I can make a mean map!
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purple hayes
Frightened Inmate #2
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 14462
Location: ON YOUR LEFT!
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Posted: 10/15/02 - 08:57 Post subject:
| runswithscissors wrote: | | Yes, but, what kind of experience must one have? I can make a mean map! |
Are you familiar with outdated software (i.e. Office 97)? Can you answer a telephone?
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runswithscissors
Member
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 8797
Location: In a badger state of mind
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Posted: 10/15/02 - 08:58 Post subject:
Cell phone? Yes. Telephone? Um...
I do have the mad skills on the commodore 64!
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purple hayes
Frightened Inmate #2
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 14462
Location: ON YOUR LEFT!
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Posted: 10/15/02 - 08:59 Post subject:
| runswithscissors wrote: | Cell phone? Yes. Telephone? Um...
I do have the mad skills on the commodore 64! |
That's another perk. Free company cell phone! I'm still waiting to use it for official company business.
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keltic63
the kilted one
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Joined: 17 May 2002
Posts: 8574
Location: under the weather
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Posted: 10/15/02 - 09:01 Post subject:
| purple hayes wrote: | | runswithscissors wrote: | | Yes, but, what kind of experience must one have? I can make a mean map! |
Are you familiar with outdated software (i.e. Office 97)? Can you answer a telephone? |
we're running 2000 here, but I can answer a phone! plus I'm good at making it look like work has been done when all I've really been doing is surfing the net.
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runswithscissors
Member
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 8797
Location: In a badger state of mind
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Posted: 10/15/02 - 09:01 Post subject:
Any chance I could telecommute? If so, I am IN!
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copteacher
Adjunct
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Joined: 08 Jun 2002
Posts: 20588
Location: Teaching in the Halls of Justice
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Posted: 10/15/02 - 09:09 Post subject:
i can use a calculator proficently
and am real good on phones
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shelflifers
Member
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Joined: 10 Jun 2002
Posts: 18633
Location: Austin, TX
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Posted: 10/15/02 - 09:09 Post subject:
Resume is already sent down. I can answer a phone. I can make a mean pot of coffee and I rarely ever exhibit violence in the workplace...I'm a shoe-in.
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TriBob
Member
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Joined: 29 Aug 2002
Posts: 5771
Location: Lost in Transition
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Posted: 10/15/02 - 09:11 Post subject:
If they double my salary, I'm be down in a few weeks 
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runswithscissors
Member
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 8797
Location: In a badger state of mind
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Posted: 10/15/02 - 09:12 Post subject:
| shelflifers wrote: | | ...I rarely ever exhibit violence in the workplace.... |
Huh? What about all of those trinkets and knicknacks you have on your desk that you use to pummel the other employees?
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akern
Member
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Joined: 31 May 2002
Posts: 17149
Location: CTU
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Posted: 10/15/02 - 09:12 Post subject:
I can do basic math like adding and subtracting! That was actually in the help wanted ads for the company I work for recently.
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shelflifers
Member
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Joined: 10 Jun 2002
Posts: 18633
Location: Austin, TX
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Posted: 10/15/02 - 09:18 Post subject:
| runswithscissors wrote: | | shelflifers wrote: | | ...I rarely ever exhibit violence in the workplace.... |
Huh? What about all of those trinkets and knicknacks you have on your desk that you use to pummel the other employees? |
ahhh...you know me so well! Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go barrage a sales rep with this handful of keychains...
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runswithscissors
Member
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 8797
Location: In a badger state of mind
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Posted: 10/15/02 - 09:19 Post subject:
| shelflifers wrote: | | runswithscissors wrote: | | shelflifers wrote: | | ...I rarely ever exhibit violence in the workplace.... |
Huh? What about all of those trinkets and knicknacks you have on your desk that you use to pummel the other employees? |
ahhh...you know me so well! Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go barrage a sales rep with this handful of keychains... |
Sure hope you aren't wasting the lighted ones!
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shelflifers
Member
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Joined: 10 Jun 2002
Posts: 18633
Location: Austin, TX
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Posted: 10/15/02 - 09:23 Post subject:
only my special little b.tches get the lighted ones 
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