Is anyone planning on not having kids?
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genie
Master of Prissface
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 Posted: 08/02/03 - 11:02 Post subject: Is anyone planning on not having kids?
Continuing the theme further for those few and rare of us.....
Despite people telling me my whole life that I would be a great mom because I'm so good with kids, I really have never had the burning desire to have them. When I was in my 20's, people told me, you're just young, you'll change your mind. Wait til your friends start having them.  So, my friends started having them.....and I loved them.....but I could also give them back. When I turned 30 and had my turning 30 crisis, people said, don't worry, you have plenty of time left to have a baby.  (it was more about getting old than that but I didn't have the heart to correct them) Now that I'm almost 40 and a lot of my friends have more than one kid, I still love them all to death and have MUCH fun with them whenever we get together, but that proverbial "alarm clock" shows no signs of going off. And personally, I don't feel badly about that, even though people have in the past called me selfish, said horribly nasty things about me being unable to love anyone but myself (which considering the source did little more than irritate me really). I spoil my friends' and cousins' kids rotten and really did enjoy watching The Little Mermaid for the 100th time with my goddaughter when she was little. 
I think parenting is and should be a matter of personal choice. I worked with mentally ill kids and I've seen the product of bad parenting and unwanted pregnancy, and I think, who's more selfish? Me, for knowing I don't want to have that responsibility and not having them, or those parents for having them and not only not wanting them but mistreating them too? 
I have the utmost respect for people who are really, really into their kids, like a lot of you guys here, and I have a couple friends who are SAHM's who just love being able to stay home and raise their kidlets. I think that's great!!! I just know I couldn't do it. What say the rest of you childless-by-choicers?
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keltic63
the kilted one
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Posted: 08/02/03 - 11:05 Post subject:
no more for me thanks!
I love my kids, but the real object of this is not to keep them forever, but to send them out! so the job really is to get them ready for independence, knowing that they will make it without you. it's esp great then when they come back to you for your help or advice!
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Cappy
Excelent
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Posted: 08/02/03 - 12:28 Post subject: Re: Is anyone planning on not having kids?
| genie wrote: | | Now that I'm almost 40 |
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flarunner
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Posted: 08/02/03 - 13:03 Post subject:
Me. For a bunch of selfish reasons, not the least of which is stretch marks.
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kattzoo
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Posted: 08/02/03 - 16:00 Post subject:
Count me in! I admit to being selfish. I love kids as long as they go home to their parents eventually. I'll be happy to play with yours, spoil them, teach them things you don't want them to learn, and then return to my pets. I think being a parent is great, hard work, wonderful, etc... I just realize it's not for me. I have no desire to have kids, never have. I like my stuff, I like traveling, I like going to movies, out to dinner without having to get a babysitter.
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Floridaboiler
POTFH
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Posted: 08/02/03 - 16:19 Post subject:
We are done. Next year some time we are looking at sending me to the doctor to make sure it wont happen any more.
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runaroundsue
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Posted: 08/02/03 - 16:31 Post subject:
I get confused by the nonchild woman = selfish statements......there are alot of mothers (and fathers for that matter) out there that put their children's needs on the backburner...due to their desires.....what could be more selfish??????
Stick to your guns....sounds as if you've put alot of thought into it.....sure you MAY change your minds (it's a woman's perogative, afterall). I don't think that you have to pinpoint reasons for anyone..(travel too much....enjoy my time alone....). Why can't a woman simply state. "I choose not to have children. period.
I can only imagine how much childless couples get the questions. I, a mother of 2 boys, am tired of explaining that I don't need a little girl to fulfill my life.....get over it people
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keltic63
the kilted one
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Posted: 08/02/03 - 16:45 Post subject:
| runaroundsue wrote: | | I, a mother of 2 boys, am tired of explaining that I don't need a little girl to fulfill my life.....get over it people |
they're not telling you that so you can "fulfill" your life. they just think you need the girl to complete your misery, errr, I mean, parenting experience. yes, that's it. you should have a girl because they are soooo different than boys and you would truly enjoy having a girl after having 2 boys. snicker, snicker
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crazyfrog
Kermitologist
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Posted: 08/02/03 - 17:17 Post subject:
im pretty sure that i dont want kids either... when i was still a kidlet myself i spent most of my time raising my little brothers because my a-hole parents (mostly my mother) were putting thier needs and wants before the kids. so from the time that i was 8 till i was about 15, i was a mom; more realistically a single mom because my dad didnt do crap either. i cared for the kids, cooked dinner, cleaned house, and kept up with school
now that im an adult and have had teh experience of haveing kids, i know that i really dont want any of my own. mostly because im scared that i might do the same thing to them that my parents did and i will never, ever wish that on anyone
yes im young and maybe ill reconsider in several yrs, but i really dont think i will
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joplus
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Posted: 08/02/03 - 18:15 Post subject:
me me me! though I think other peoples' babies are fairly cute.
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genie
Master of Prissface
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Posted: 08/02/03 - 19:25 Post subject:
| flarunner wrote: | | Me. For a bunch of selfish reasons, not the least of which is stretch marks. |
 I wasn't going to admit that was one of the perks.....
Hey Cappy....
Wow, there are more of us out here than I thought! And sue, you're right, I never understood the selfish thing either. From my own experience, a woman can't just say "I choose not to have children" because there are too many women out there who are only too happy to tell her that she isn't a "real" woman if she doesn't
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TimRuns
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Posted: 08/02/03 - 20:46 Post subject:
I agree with crazyfrog: definitely no kids for me. I may be young but I now understand how hard it is to bring up and raise children considering that I'm the eldest of 4 kids in the family and I've seen my parents struggling sometimes just to control and feed them. I have also taken some time babysitting my younger siblings and man, it can be difficult at times. Also I would rather have more freetime rather than spending it on taking care of the kids
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kattzoo
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Posted: 08/02/03 - 20:48 Post subject:
| genie wrote: | | flarunner wrote: | | Me. For a bunch of selfish reasons, not the least of which is stretch marks. |
I wasn't going to admit that was one of the perks.....
Hey Cappy....
Wow, there are more of us out here than I thought! And sue, you're right, I never understood the selfish thing either. From my own experience, a woman can't just say "I choose not to have children" because there are too many women out there who are only too happy to tell her that she isn't a "real" woman if she doesn't |
Or what we're missing...how our parents deserve grandchildren, how they're sure our husbands really want kids, but just don't want to push, how you'll never know love until you have one.... Not that anyone has ever told me that. 
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genie
Master of Prissface
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Posted: 08/03/03 - 11:42 Post subject:
| kattzoo wrote: | | genie wrote: | | flarunner wrote: | | Me. For a bunch of selfish reasons, not the least of which is stretch marks. |
I wasn't going to admit that was one of the perks.....
Hey Cappy....
Wow, there are more of us out here than I thought! And sue, you're right, I never understood the selfish thing either. From my own experience, a woman can't just say "I choose not to have children" because there are too many women out there who are only too happy to tell her that she isn't a "real" woman if she doesn't |
Or what we're missing...how our parents deserve grandchildren, how they're sure our husbands really want kids, but just don't want to push, how you'll never know love until you have one.... Not that anyone has ever told me that. |
That one gets me most of all. Puppies are quite capable of unconditional love, thank you.....and they won't keep you up all night worrying when they're out on their first date!
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jrjo
Gone Fishin
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Joined: 15 May 2002
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Posted: 08/03/03 - 11:48 Post subject:
| Floridaboiler wrote: | | We are done. Next year some time we are looking at sending me to the doctor to make sure it wont happen any more. |
 ....and no, there will be no threads about it 
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