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Phar lap
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Joined: 20 Jun 2003
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Location: A flawed Utopia
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 Posted: 10/12/03 - 01:38 Post subject: In conversations
Do you tend to listen or talk more?
What are you looking for when you converse with people?
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blue
your favorite weapon
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Joined: 21 May 2002
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Location: armed and ambitious
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Posted: 10/12/03 - 01:55 Post subject: Re: In conversations
| Phar lap wrote: | Do you tend to listen or talk more?
What are you looking for when you converse with people? |
well i'm a good listener, but sometimes i like to talk to. i mean i listened to everything they said, but then i might just want to get my two bits in. so i'm trying not to do that so much.
i enjoy all kinds of conversation. conversing in general is fun. i'll be serious, or downright silly. it doesn't really matter as long it doesn't make less intelligent. 
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airehead
Oompa Loofah
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Location: Between here and eternity...
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Posted: 10/12/03 - 02:04 Post subject:
I learn a lot about people by how they say things or from what they don't say.
I seek to learn about a person's inner being. You can learn a lot by watching and listening and asking the right questions.
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blue
your favorite weapon
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Joined: 21 May 2002
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Location: armed and ambitious
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Posted: 10/12/03 - 02:31 Post subject:
| airehead wrote: | I learn a lot about people by how they say things or from what they don't say.
I seek to learn about a person's inner being. You can learn a lot by watching and listening and asking the right questions. |
sometimes you learn too much by watching and listening... 
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Laurie Ellen
Queenie
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Posted: 10/12/03 - 06:34 Post subject:
My thoughts run very fast. So a lot of them are immediately transferred to my tongue, and I tend to talk a lot. For a long time I had this problem... I would be there in a snap and finish people's sentences, or interrupt them. Michael has really helped me. We devised a way of his subtley letting me know when I do it when we're out or have company, and he lets me know when I'm doing it to him by completely shutting up and folding his arms and looking the other way.
In consequence I listen more and try to focus on what someone's saying, and I let them finish it out... no one likes to have their thought spoken before they get a chance. The kids have helped, too... a kid will take 10 minutes to tell you that they dropped the toilet paper roll in the toilet trying to change it. They've helped me to wait until they get it out in their way, and that requires a lot of patience.
As far as conversation goes, I'm not ever looking for a debate. I really used to like to debate. Then I just stopped caring. I don't really care. I've got too much in my own life to take care of... I find that the older I get the less I want to discuss things I have no control over. There's too much going on every day in my real life.
I'd rather talk about how things are going, what's been happening, how the person I'm talking to is feeling, etc., just learn more about people I care about, and let them know I care by showing them I'm interested in them. I like to talk to Michael best, and my friend Taryn, and you guys. I like to be entertained and I like to hear funny stuff, and I like to talk about things I've been thinking. Michael likes to tell me stuff, bounce things about work and football and what he's thinking off me, and I like to listen.
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copteacher
Adjunct
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Joined: 08 Jun 2002
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Location: Teaching in the Halls of Justice
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Posted: 10/12/03 - 07:56 Post subject:
I have listen a lot in the job, figure out what is going on then talk in a few simple words
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Cappy
Excelent
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Posted: 10/12/03 - 08:00 Post subject:
I think I do both effectively
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genie
Master of Prissface
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Posted: 10/12/03 - 10:35 Post subject:
| Laurie Ellen wrote: | | My thoughts run very fast. So a lot of them are immediately transferred to my tongue, and I tend to talk a lot. For a long time I had this problem... I would be there in a snap and finish people's sentences, or interrupt them. |
I do that a lot too, and taking these counseling classes has really made me more aware of that tendency and I am working really hard on it. It's tough though. I have had people tell me that I am a good listener, and I think for the most part I am, because like you said, I am interested in what's going on with the people around me, but I am also a fixer by nature and want to jump in and help right away. Sometimes that's not what a person needs most, they just need a sounding board and a shoulder.
| Quote: | | As far as conversation goes, I'm not ever looking for a debate. I really used to like to debate. |
I love the intellectual stimulation of a good debate, as long as it stays focused on education and doesn't deteriorate into mudslinging or judgment of someone else's viewpoints.
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BamBam
Member
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Posted: 10/12/03 - 12:37 Post subject:
unfortunately I talk a lot
I can't get from here to there very easily ---I tend to go off on tangets which seems very logical in my mind--but tends to muddle stories
Pebbs is a great listener--she has to be to put up with me
and any time I begin to shoot off on one of my ever present verbal goose chases---Pebbs yells "tippy -toe tippy-toe"
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kattzoo
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Posted: 10/12/03 - 12:43 Post subject:
I'm more of a listener. I think you learn so much by listening to others. Then again, maybe I never have anything intelligent to say! 
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BamBam
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Posted: 10/12/03 - 12:44 Post subject:
listening is much more important---I just never learned to keep my mouth shut......must be the coffee
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pbello
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Posted: 10/12/03 - 13:35 Post subject:
I get into moods. It depends on the conversation too. Sometimes, I don't feel like I can really contribute anything to the conversation, and I would rather hear what other people have to say. There are other times when the subject matter is really very touchy, and I'm sort of sick of having heated debates on morality, politics, religion, etc... I went to Cal (UC Berkeley), and I'm sort of jaded when it comes to these types of conversations. I'm just more content to sit back and let people duke it out, get their feelings out, and exercise their right to free speech. Playing it safe, but I'd rather do that than get all riled up trying to convince someone why I'm right & they're wrong. It just doesn't work when it comes to personal (really personal) beliefs.
Other times I chatter on and on about absolutely nothing  .
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Pug
The Movie Geek
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Posted: 10/12/03 - 14:53 Post subject:
I tend to listen more, especially around people i don't know, but sometimes my girlfriend tells me that I'm "just talkin and talkin", so probably both. I am fairly reserved and quiet, though...at least that's how i view myself.
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TimRuns
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Location: Coquitlam, British Columbia
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Posted: 10/12/03 - 14:57 Post subject:
I tend to listen more and I don't do very well in participating in class discussion groups. I just don't get how some people can actually have so much to say in such a short span of time. I usually need time to think before i say something or express my opinions about an issue..
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jrjo
Gone Fishin
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Joined: 15 May 2002
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Location: Lake Wobegon, MN
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Posted: 10/13/03 - 12:23 Post subject:
| kattzoo wrote: | | I'm more of a listener. I think you learn so much by listening to others. Then again, maybe I never have anything intelligent to say! |
..goes along with the motto "It's better to say nothing and be thought a fool, than open your mouth and prove it so". 
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