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JACKED UP
PRESIDENT
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Joined: 06 Jun 2003
Posts: 21238
Location: www.johnnydu.com
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 Posted: 01/27/06 - 14:41 Post subject: I'm taking applications for gym members.
Your application should include the following:
1) Your name n address. Exactly as it appears on your credit card statement.
2) Your 16 digit account #.
3) References.
4) Reasons I would/would not want you as a member of my gym.
5) What type of ass are you? A. Dumb B. Smart C. Jack
6. Are you anal retentive? I hate public gas passers. 
7. How often do you plug the toilet?
8. Can you operate a plunger?
Upon review of the personality committee(ME). Your application will be approved or denied.
Thanks n good luck! 
P.S. Those who prefer BLAZIN' HipHop need not apply! 
Last edited by JACKED UP on 01/27/06 - 15:09; edited 1 time in total
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gretriever
Hipster Doofus
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Joined: 16 Jul 2003
Posts: 19385
Location: A moving target in a firing range.
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Posted: 01/27/06 - 14:43 Post subject:
You should mention the yellow and black carpeting .
(attn Shelf: Stryper colors abound there!)
Question 5: B - you wouldn't have it any other way 
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blue
your favorite weapon
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Joined: 21 May 2002
Posts: 7010
Location: armed and ambitious
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Posted: 01/27/06 - 14:44 Post subject: Re: I'm taking applications for gym members.
| JACKED UP wrote: | Your application should include the following:
1) Your name n address. Exactly as it appears on your credit card statement.
2) Your 16 digit account #.
3) References.
4) Reasons I would/would not want you as a member of my gym.
5) What type of ass are you? A. Dumb B. Smart C. Jack
6. Are you anal retentive? I hate public gas passers.
7. How often do you plug the toilet?
8. Can you operate a plunger?
Upon review of the personality committee(ME). Your application will be approved or denied.
Thanks n good luck! |
is this a paid position?
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airehead
Oompa Loofah
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Joined: 12 Nov 2002
Posts: 18788
Location: Between here and eternity...
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Posted: 01/27/06 - 14:44 Post subject:
Define Jack as opposed to dumb, please.
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JACKED UP
PRESIDENT
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Joined: 06 Jun 2003
Posts: 21238
Location: www.johnnydu.com
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Posted: 01/27/06 - 14:45 Post subject:
| gretriever wrote: | You should mention the yellow and black carpeting .
(attn Shelf: Stryper colors abound there!)
Question 5: B - you wouldn't have it any other way |
APPROVED! 
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rolling rock
The Pinball
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 16218
Location: unknown zone
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Posted: 01/27/06 - 14:47 Post subject:
| airehead wrote: | | Define Jack as opposed to dumb, please. |
very good question, although i prefer to think of myself as a jackass instead of a dumbass and i've no idea why.
and
7. -- NEVER!!!  i'm sayin. above and beyond the call of doooty there JU.
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karlene
Canadian Bacon
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Joined: 17 Oct 2005
Posts: 5563
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Posted: 01/27/06 - 14:48 Post subject: Re: I'm taking applications for gym members.
| JACKED UP wrote: | Your application should include the following:
1) Your name n address. Exactly as it appears on your credit card statement.
2) Your 16 digit account #.
3) References.
4) Reasons I would/would not want you as a member of my gym.
5) What type of ass are you? A. Dumb B. Smart C. Jack
6. Are you anal retentive? I hate public gas passers.
7. How often do you plug the toilet?
8. Can you operate a plunger?
Upon review of the personality committee(ME). Your application will be approved or denied.
Thanks n good luck! |
You should also add:
if you do know how to use a plunger, would you steal it?
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JACKED UP
PRESIDENT
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Joined: 06 Jun 2003
Posts: 21238
Location: www.johnnydu.com
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Posted: 01/27/06 - 14:48 Post subject:
| airehead wrote: | | Define Jack as opposed to dumb, please. |
A jackass would try anything once. A dumbass would do it twice.
Edited cuz some smartass realized I'm a dumbass.  
Last edited by JACKED UP on 01/27/06 - 15:05; edited 1 time in total
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keltic63
the kilted one
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Joined: 17 May 2002
Posts: 8574
Location: under the weather
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Posted: 01/27/06 - 14:49 Post subject:
| gretriever wrote: | You should mention the black & gold carpeting .
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cool! A Steelers Gym!
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shelflifers
Member
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Joined: 10 Jun 2002
Posts: 18633
Location: Austin, TX
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Posted: 01/27/06 - 14:49 Post subject:
| gretriever wrote: | You should mention the yellow and black carpeting .
(attn Shelf: Stryper colors abound there!)
Question 5: B - you wouldn't have it any other way |
TO HELL WITH THE DEVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
having said that, you'll like me. I don't plug up toilets. (truth be told, I don't even use toilets!)
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airehead
Oompa Loofah
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Joined: 12 Nov 2002
Posts: 18788
Location: Between here and eternity...
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Posted: 01/27/06 - 14:50 Post subject:
| shelflifers wrote: | | gretriever wrote: | You should mention the yellow and black carpeting .
(attn Shelf: Stryper colors abound there!)
Question 5: B - you wouldn't have it any other way |
TO HELL WITH THE DEVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
having said that, you'll like me. I don't plug up toilets. (truth be told, I don't even use toilets!)
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Dr Pepper on my monitor. Thanks.
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JACKED UP
PRESIDENT
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Joined: 06 Jun 2003
Posts: 21238
Location: www.johnnydu.com
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Posted: 01/27/06 - 14:51 Post subject: Re: I'm taking applications for gym members.
| blue wrote: | | JACKED UP wrote: | Your application should include the following:
1) Your name n address. Exactly as it appears on your credit card statement.
2) Your 16 digit account #.
3) References.
4) Reasons I would/would not want you as a member of my gym.
5) What type of ass are you? A. Dumb B. Smart C. Jack
6. Are you anal retentive? I hate public gas passers.
7. How often do you plug the toilet?
8. Can you operate a plunger?
Upon review of the personality committee(ME). Your application will be approved or denied.
Thanks n good luck! |
is this a paid position? |
Sure, you can pay me.
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shelflifers
Member
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Joined: 10 Jun 2002
Posts: 18633
Location: Austin, TX
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Posted: 01/27/06 - 14:51 Post subject:
Sweet!
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JACKED UP
PRESIDENT
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Joined: 06 Jun 2003
Posts: 21238
Location: www.johnnydu.com
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Posted: 01/27/06 - 14:52 Post subject:
| rolling rock wrote: | | airehead wrote: | | Define Jack as opposed to dumb, please. |
very good question, although i prefer to think of myself as a jackass instead of a dumbass and i've no idea why.
and
7. -- NEVER!!! i'm sayin. above and beyond the call of doooty there JU. |
I like you, APPROVED! 
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blue
your favorite weapon
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Joined: 21 May 2002
Posts: 7010
Location: armed and ambitious
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Posted: 01/27/06 - 14:52 Post subject: Re: I'm taking applications for gym members.
| JACKED UP wrote: | | blue wrote: | | JACKED UP wrote: | Your application should include the following:
1) Your name n address. Exactly as it appears on your credit card statement.
2) Your 16 digit account #.
3) References.
4) Reasons I would/would not want you as a member of my gym.
5) What type of ass are you? A. Dumb B. Smart C. Jack
6. Are you anal retentive? I hate public gas passers.
7. How often do you plug the toilet?
8. Can you operate a plunger?
Upon review of the personality committee(ME). Your application will be approved or denied.
Thanks n good luck! |
is this a paid position? |
Sure, you can pay me. |
eff that, i can plunge a toilet and look good doing it.
that's worth at least minimum wage.
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