How to be politically correct describing men and women

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HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK"
She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER"
She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."

3. She is not "EASY"
She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE"
She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

5. She has not "BEEN AROUND"
She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

6. She is not an "AIRHEAD"
She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."

7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY"
She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED."

8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS"
She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

9. She does not "NAG" you
She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

10. She is not a "TRAMP"
She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."

11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS"
She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."

12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER"
She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT"
He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER"
He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME"
He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

4. He is not "BALDING"
He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER"
He prefers "GENERATIONAL v. DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."

6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK"
He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."

7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS"
He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG"
He has "SWINE EMPATHY."

9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT"
He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."

10. He is not "HORNY"
He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."

11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants
It's "REAR CLEAVAGE

PRESIDENT

6. She is not an "AIRHEAD"
She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."

you may get your ass cracked for that one. teehee

Good stuff. Mr. Green

How to be politically correct describing men and women

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