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elkid
Member
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Joined: 18 Nov 2002
Posts: 8353
Location: hiding out in Philly
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 Posted: 12/06/04 - 13:49 Post subject: Hot Chocolate 15K = PR
Ugh. That sums up the day, and the race. Rose early in high 20 temps; got DD breakfast and then drove to bus stop. Took a bus and 2 subways, then walked 9 blocks to race HQ. I picked up my packet and walked another 12 blocks to race start. IT WAS FREEZING! I couldn't stay warm despite tights, a LS race shirt, 2 fleeces, hat, hood, and gloves. I stripped down to single layer of racing gear at 9:28 and hustled to race start by 9:30. I kept my gloves on to use as tissues. It was 32 degrees and FREEZING! I couldn't get it together at all for this race, despite a pretty easy course (by NYC standards, anyway). .5 mile flat, 2 mile climb, 1 mile down, 1 mile up, repeat + .3 down. By mile 2 I wanted to go home. I kept going, and kept suffering. Physically and mentally, I just never showed up. This entire race was a mental battle to just keep running, despite this being shorter than my average training run. I couldn't feel below my waist for the entire race I was so cold. I eventually crossed the finish line with a big PR, but this "victory" felt hollow and empty. But it was certainly a lot faster than last week's 15K. I'm not sure if it was the dry air, the 56% humidity, possibly still being sick, or a combination of all three, but my usual post race hack was worse than usual. Some poor fellow tried to help me by pounding me on the back, but I screamed "PLEASE DON'T TOUCH ME! DON'T TOUCH ME!" because I felt so dejected and upset. Sorry, dude. 
I lost a few things at the Philadelphia Marathon, and need to reclaim them. I finally see that I'm broken, and need to get fixed. I've lost my ability to compartmentalize, and bad things from one area of my life are flowing over and affecting others. During a rough autumn, I always looked to running as an escape, something in which I could lose myself. My running and racing were off-the-charts awesome. Now I'm continually frustrated with slow times, rough mental battles, and lack of motivation because work and strained friendship stress are spilling over into running. This race exemplified all of these issues. I've had one good run since NYCM a month ago. If NYC couldn't bring me out of whatever this is, I don't know what will. But I need to fix this. Within six weeks, too.
Stats: 1:44:37, 11:14 pace, 3,015/3,232 (beat 7%). No splits, as my watch reset itself when I tried to save them.  Which is fine; I remember them being quite erratic. 15K PR by 6:16. Completing my day - after sprinting up the escalator to catch my bus home and missing it, I was forced to wait a half hour for the next one with screaming children and German Christmas carolers. 
Next up: I return to Central park for my last race of year! Coachie versus The Protege at the NYRRC Holiday 4M on 12/18.
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gretriever
Hipster Doofus
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Joined: 16 Jul 2003
Posts: 19385
Location: A moving target in a firing range.
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Posted: 12/11/04 - 17:37 Post subject:
Kid,
Sorry to hear about your issues. But on the positive side, you did get a PR, and as far as the problems, you know what they are. And that's the first step to beating them.
If you don't come out of a race not learning something about yourself, then it's not much of a race. You did, so you did well. 
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I hope you get out of the funk. Congrats on your PR though, especially in tough race conditions! 
