Hi, my name is Genie & I am a re-newbie (LONG)
|
|
 
|
|
|
|
|
|
genie
Master of Prissface
|
|
|
Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 16194
Location: Finding serenity one day at a time
|
| Back to top
|
|
 Posted: 05/07/03 - 14:41 Post subject: Hi, my name is Genie & I am a re-newbie (LONG)
I just had to share this most profound and bizarre thing that happened to me on my lunchtime run today.....since we're all runners I thought you'd understand what a humbling breakthrough this was. Length warning: you might wanna grab a snack....
Did my first run since I got hepatitis in March today, with no expectations whatsoever, although I did take my watch because I forgot the GPS this morning and I didn't want to be out too long. First mile, went out nice and easy and picked up pretty strong, fighting the urge to look at the watch to see what time it was, as that is always what destroys a run for me if I am not going fast enough. Legs started twingling in weird places that they don't usually hurt, and I thought, what the??? And then it hit me....I had grabbed an OLD pair of retired shoes that I usually wear to the gym today instead of the new pair--- me. I knew the run was likely shot from there, since my legs were still hurting, so I just decided at that point I was staying out for 50 minutes, in whatever combination of run/walk that it took to get back to work. (First premonition)
I had the Walkman with me, which I never do, I got that beat into me by the running snobs at Kick way back  but for some reason today decided to take it. (Second premonition) I really enjoyed just being out in the sun, listening to our local classic rock station and plodding along. I thought back to my newbie days when this was my every "run" and found myself thinking, I never really enjoyed it back then because I was too worried about getting faster.....and THEN IT HIT ME!!!
After all the crap my body has been through in the last year (triple stress fracture, CFIDS flare up, major surgery, hepatitis) I am lucky to be outside putting one foot in front of the other in any fashion. I know many of you have told me that privately, but for some reason, out in the sun with flowers blooming and dogs barking and Led Zeppelin jamming in my ears, it dawned on me: the only way I am ever going to get over the mental devastation of being benched last year when my running was at its all time high is to bury that person as if she died and start completely over. (Third and most important premonition.) I didn't learn this lesson 8 years ago when I first got sick, and I have spent most of that time trying to recapture the glory days when I was a really good athlete, instead of accepting myself and my body at where I am now and starting from that point.
It finally dawned on me that I am getting a second chance right now to do over everything from the time I started back running three years ago, but that I absolutely HAVE to let go of the old Genie, the pre-CFIDS star athlete, and the overzealous newbie who was making such great strides before The Bone Scan. Needless to say, I bawled the whole last half mile because I have been struggling with this since last April. I can't even begin to explain how emotional this is for me, and I know despite the length of this post that words will not do it justice.
I made the decision to delete ALL my old running logs, every last statistic, including all the race PRs, training PRs and comments. It's all gone, every bit of it, except the one I have at home and that is history tonight. (I can hear PH cringing now hehe) I'm buying a new pair of running shoes to celebrate the occasion, and it is with absolutely no hesitation that I say to you all now:
Hi, my name is Genie, and I ran for the first time ever today. I wasn't real fast and I didn't go real long, but I really enjoyed it and I can't wait to go out and do it again tomorrow!!! I hope you'll all come along with me on my journey to discover who I am as a runner....and maybe as a person! 
Last edited by genie on 05/07/03 - 15:05; edited 1 time in total
|
|
|
|
|
runswithscissors
Member
|
|
|
Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 8797
Location: In a badger state of mind
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 05/07/03 - 15:04 Post subject:
Welcome to runningforums, Genie! I think you will fit in here quite well.
Seriously, G. That was a huge step you took today. I'm very proud of you!
|
|
|
|
|
RachelK
Member
|
|
|
Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Posts: 63
Location: Houston, Texas
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 05/07/03 - 15:37 Post subject:
Wow Genie,
Quite a post. Sounds like you went through a lot in the last year. I am glad you enjoyed your 'run' today. I wanted to wish you peace and happiness on your new journey. It sounds like you are off to a good start.
Rachel
|
|
|
|
|
TriBob
Member
|
|
|
Joined: 29 Aug 2002
Posts: 5771
Location: Lost in Transition
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 05/07/03 - 15:42 Post subject:
PH, could you pleae reset her post count. We want a clean start 
Genie, thats great. A clean start mentally and physically and nothin' but PRs in your future.
|
|
|
|
|
Dancer
Member
|
|
|
Joined: 21 Nov 2002
Posts: 2518
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 05/07/03 - 16:08 Post subject:
Genie that's awesome! And welcome to the world of running.
(don't worry, PH will get over it!)
|
|
|
|
|
Cappy
Excelent
|
|
|
Joined: 16 May 2002
Posts: 27368
Location: Spreadsheetylvania
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 05/07/03 - 16:23 Post subject:
Great post Genie. You positive can do attitude is great.
|
|
|
|
|
pokychick
Member
|
|
|
Joined: 02 Oct 2002
Posts: 5640
Location: City of Dis
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 05/07/03 - 16:27 Post subject:
Welcome Genie! Great positive attitude.
In case you have forgotten re-newbie never race in your race tshirt.
|
|
|
|
|
Sandy Cheeks
Member
|
|
|
Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 4605
Location: in the city that never sleeps
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 05/07/03 - 16:45 Post subject:
Wow! What a breakthrough!
Welcome to running. 
|
|
|
|
|
kattzoo
Member
|
|
|
Joined: 28 Feb 2003
Posts: 3813
Location: Happily at the back of the pack
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 05/07/03 - 16:47 Post subject:
Great attitude Genie!!! You are more than welcome to hang out with me and the rest of the slow folks. We enjoy the company, and sometimes, the view ain't so bad either!
|
|
|
|
|
genie
Master of Prissface
|
|
|
Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 16194
Location: Finding serenity one day at a time
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 05/07/03 - 18:01 Post subject:
Thanks everyone!! I knew you'd understand....even if you don't know me that well. It's not like I was terribly fast before either, but starting over just really knocked it out of me because I was doing so consistently well for so long. I had really considered never running again because I was having so much trouble, but I really love running and was reminded of that today, even with the walking in between. I just didn't want to push it too hard in those crappy shoes. I'm gettin' me some new Mizuno's!!
What was nice about the music was....it distracted me mentally and drowned out those inner running demons who are always yelling "is that the best you can do? God, you suck...look at that last split, pitiful!" which was really ruining my every run. It was all I could do to get out the door today, knowing it was going to be like that. What a great surprise instead!
|
|
|
|
|
shelflifers
Member
|
|
|
Joined: 10 Jun 2002
Posts: 18633
Location: Austin, TX
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 05/07/03 - 18:16 Post subject:
I think you've always put that unnecessary burden on your back (since I've known you) by trying to compete with your early self. I'm very happy and excited to hear that you've confronted these demons, wiped the slate clean and are ready to start over, g!
Congrats on the memorable run!
joel
ps. make out your membership fee to me, please
|
|
|
|
|
airehead
Oompa Loofah
|
|
|
Joined: 12 Nov 2002
Posts: 18788
Location: Between here and eternity...
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 05/07/03 - 18:44 Post subject:
You had a little bit of each one of us out there with you today. For good and bad!
I am so happy for you! This is such a great day and I hope you do mark this down as an "epiphany" day to be remembered each year.
You're the only you we've got, and we think you rock even if you ran slower than I do. (Which, I get paced by elderly people with walkers  ) We'd love you even if you never ran another step.
Just remember this, YOU ROCK!!! (Said in my best Will Ferrell/Old School voice)
|
|
|
|
|
genie
Master of Prissface
|
|
|
Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 16194
Location: Finding serenity one day at a time
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 05/07/03 - 22:08 Post subject:
Just made the first entry in my new running log! It reads: what a great day to be a runner! Yep, I'm keeping this one. I didn't even flinch when I hit delete.
Ahhhh.......
|
|
|
|
|
Pebbles
Member
|
|
|
Joined: 21 May 2002
Posts: 2947
Location: Bedrock
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 05/07/03 - 22:19 Post subject:
Genie you are the  est! I am soooooooooooo proud of you!!!!!!!!!!!
And I truely admire you. 
|
|
|
|
|
Happy2tri
Member
|
|
|
Joined: 02 May 2003
Posts: 1003
Location: Boston, MA
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 05/08/03 - 08:29 Post subject:
So great!!! That is what it is all about!!
Enjoy every step you take and lets always keep it moving forward
|
|
|
|
| |
All times are GMT - 4 Hours
|
| Page 1 of 2 |
Related topics: | |
|
|
