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Gogirlgo
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 Posted: 03/03/04 - 16:01 Post subject: Ethics of this situation
Maybe you've heard of this story already http://www.philly.com/mld/philly/news/8090223.htm, in which a baby was stolen by a woman and raised by her until last week. The real mom found her and she's likely coming back to live with her actual mom.
From the way it's described in the paper, the life the girl led with the bogus mom is a better one, materially, than the one she'll be leading with her actual mother, and she and her real mother don't speak the same language.
So the question to ponder is: what happens if the woman who did a monstrous thing to get a child could give her a better life than the mom who thought she'd died as an infant? Keep in mind that in going into the new life, the child has a new name, new siblings, a different school, the language barrier, and the only one she ever knew as "Mom" is gone.
I can't think how overjoyed the actual mom must be, or what a monster the kidnapper is. But I feel terribly for the little girl caught in the middle.
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elkid
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Posted: 03/03/04 - 16:15 Post subject:
Interesting predicament, especially because the girl was four when she was kidnapped. I'm sure she must remember her mother on some level. I'd like to say have the girl decide, but how the kidnapper tried to cover up her tracks was pretty awful.
I was adopted at two weeks old. I have no interest in meeting my biological parents. I firmly believe that when they gave me up, they gave me up for good. I had a wonderful life with wonderful, loving, giving parents. But had I been in this situation, I think I'd want to go back from whence I'd been taken. Because it hadn't been the parents' choice.
Regardless of what happens, however, that girl's gonna be screwed up for life.
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cherylpf
crazy cat lady
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Posted: 03/03/04 - 16:18 Post subject:
This reminds me of several other cases of switched at birth or birth parents seeking to retrieve their child adopted out, etc. I remember vividly some footage of a child about 3 years old in a case where a family had given their daughter up for adoption, then changed their minds. The case went around in the courts for years as the adoptive parents were allowed to keep her. So she's growing up knowing only these people as parents. The courts granted the birth parents custody and the scene of her leaving her adoptive parents, the only ones she's ever known to go live with these people, albeit her birth parents but complete strangers to this toddler was heart wrenching.
In this case there is at least a clear bad guy. The kidnapping monster should not have this little girl or any other children. Legally she was never granted to this woman and I see no reason why she should stay. I agree with the mother, if she can take this baby and set fire to a house, she is certainly capable of it a second time. And rather than foster care I think she should be with her birth mother, but what a rough situation for the girl. Thats hard. YOu have to wonder if she'll resent her birth mother or what other ramifications will play out in her life. 6 years old is pretty far along.
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purple hayes
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Posted: 03/03/04 - 16:21 Post subject:
| elkid wrote: | | Interesting predicament, especially because the girl was four when she was kidnapped. |
| the article wrote: | | Carolyn Correa, the Willingboro woman accused of snatching a 10-day-old girl six years ago and raising her as her own. |
Not according to the article. It says she was only 10 days old. (unless you're talking about some other case)
| Quote: | | I'd like to say have the girl decide, but how the kidnapper tried to cover up her tracks was pretty awful. |
"I'd like to go live with my arsonist, kidnapping mother in prison?"  I'm not familiar with PA law, but I'm guessing a 6 year old won't have much of a choice in this matter.
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cherylpf
crazy cat lady
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Posted: 03/03/04 - 16:24 Post subject:
I don't see why the kidnapper wouldn't go to prison. Rather than staying with her 'father'/husband of kidnapper she should be removed from the home. But the upside to this is rather than foster care, she can be place back with her birth parents.
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coachmarkos
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Posted: 03/03/04 - 16:24 Post subject:
I heard about this on the news.
Unbelievable. I don't care if she could give her the sun, that woman does not deserve that girl.
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akern
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Posted: 03/03/04 - 16:27 Post subject:
I've heard about that on the news. There's a lot of missing information I think. (Or I just haven't heard). Wasn't it a bit suspicious when there was not a body found at the fire? How did the woman who stole the kid end up at the same place as the mother? Don't you think she'd try to avoid that?
Poor kid. 
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elkid
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Posted: 03/03/04 - 16:28 Post subject:
| purple hayes wrote: | | Not according to the article. It says she was only 10 days old. (unless you're talking about some other case) |
My bad. There was indeed a similar case earlier this year in NJ. Still, I'd want to know. No, there are no laws in PA where you get to pick and choose, but what I meant was I'd like to see children have more of a say of where they want to live, particularly in divorce cases.
| cherylpf wrote: | | This reminds me of several other cases of switched at birth or birth parents seeking to retrieve their child adopted out, etc. I remember vividly some footage of a child about 3 years old in a case where a family had given their daughter up for adoption, then changed their minds. The case went around in the courts for years as the adoptive parents were allowed to keep her. So she's growing up knowing only these people as parents. The courts granted the birth parents custody and the scene of her leaving her adoptive parents, the only ones she's ever known to go live with these people, albeit her birth parents but complete strangers to this toddler was heart wrenching. |
This is why there needs to be stronger, less dilutable adoption laws. Adoption is a very sensitive, emotional process for all parties involved. But there has to be more respect for the sanctity, privacy, and PERMANENCE of the decisions made. If both the child and the parent want to find each other, fine - breach the privacy. But if one wants to know and the other doesn't, I say no way. I'd refuse to meet my biological parents. I'd be pissed if they tried to find me anyway, and feel violated. Both parties have rights.
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coachmarkos
my boys could swim
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Posted: 03/03/04 - 16:28 Post subject:
| akern wrote: | I've heard about that on the news. There's a lot of missing information I think. (Or I just haven't heard). Wasn't it a bit suspicious when there was not a body found at the fire? How did the woman who stole the kid end up at the same place as the mother? Don't you think she'd try to avoid that?
Poor kid. |
you need to read the article.
That woman is a psycho. 
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Ms. Jenn
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Posted: 03/03/04 - 16:29 Post subject:
| coachmarkos wrote: | I heard about this on the news.
Unbelievable. I don't care if she could give her the sun, that woman does not deserve that girl. |
Ditto.
Heinous act.
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Gogirlgo
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Posted: 03/03/04 - 16:35 Post subject:
Yes, the fact that it was determined the supposed body was consumed by the fire makes me wonder if the fire people or police people won't somehow be involved.
What a nightmare.
Incidentally, this wasn't the kidnapper's first brush with fire to cover up something else. She managed to squid out of that with some community service.
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jrjo
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Posted: 03/03/04 - 16:51 Post subject:
I'm missing the ethical question... Are some people in Philly actually thinking the girl should stay with the kidnapper?
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camelia bedelia
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Posted: 03/03/04 - 16:57 Post subject:
I’m surprised they are aren’t doing a slower introduction to her new home – maybe having her live with a familiar adult in a foster home until she can bond with her mother, learn the same language, etc. I sure hope Social Service, or someone will be around to help with the transition. The poor little girl. 
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Cappy
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Posted: 03/03/04 - 16:57 Post subject:
It’s a no brainer lock the kidnapper up forever, return the child to its natural mother. Open and Shut case.
What part of the kidnapping statute is unclear here
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Gogirlgo
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Posted: 03/03/04 - 16:58 Post subject:
No, the ethics of it is: what if the girl is better off in terms of living in a nicer house, private school etc. with the kidnapper who by all accounts treated her well, as opposed to her going back to the shoddier neighborhood with more kids and a mom who doesn't speak her language?
Probably no one else in Philly is giving this a second thought.
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