|
|
|
|
airehead
Oompa Loofah
|
|
|
Joined: 12 Nov 2002
Posts: 18788
Location: Between here and eternity...
|
| Back to top
|
|
 Posted: 07/31/03 - 12:49 Post subject: Ethics ? question...
I don't want to start a political/religious debate AT ALL, but I would like to know would you donate/sell your eggs/sperm in order for another couple--unknown to you--to conceive?
Is that even considered in the realm of ethics?
Mr Aire and I were discussing this and really not sure.
|
|
|
|
|
elkid
Member
|
|
|
Joined: 18 Nov 2002
Posts: 8353
Location: hiding out in Philly
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 07/31/03 - 12:52 Post subject: Re: Ethics ? question...
| airehead wrote: | | I don't want to start a political/religious debate AT ALL, |
Too bad you just did. 
My opinion? Why not. I'm not using that stuff, why shouldn't someone who wants/needs it take advantage?
|
|
|
|
|
Cappy
Excelent
|
|
|
Joined: 16 May 2002
Posts: 27367
Location: Spreadsheetylvania
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 07/31/03 - 12:53 Post subject:
Yes I would.
|
|
|
|
|
monk25
Member
|
|
|
Joined: 25 Jun 2002
Posts: 3923
Location: The Beautiful South Shore of L.I. NY
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 07/31/03 - 12:56 Post subject:
No. I wouldn't want to father kids I couldn't father. (you know what I mean?)
|
|
|
|
|
jrjo
Gone Fishin
|
|
|
Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 16449
Location: Lake Wobegon, MN
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 07/31/03 - 12:58 Post subject:
With so many unwanted children, I think adoption is the way to go. No, I wouldn't donate. I couldn't sleep at night knowing my genes were out there somewhere.
|
|
|
|
|
elkid
Member
|
|
|
Joined: 18 Nov 2002
Posts: 8353
Location: hiding out in Philly
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 07/31/03 - 13:05 Post subject:
| monk25 wrote: | | No. I wouldn't want to father kids I couldn't father. (you know what I mean?) |
You wouldn't be fathering them ... the male recipient of your donation would be. Just because you create a child does not mean you father them. But I do see what you mean, viewing it from your perspective.
I was adopted. I would never consider my biological parents, should I ever meet them, to be my parents. Ever. Whatever their reasons, they gave me up. That wasn't just for back then, but forever. In terms of who is my parent, those that expected me cannot be, those who selected me will forever be.
Then again, my older brother was adopted, too, and he would consider the biological tie - very strongly as well. Interesting.
|
|
|
|
|
monk25
Member
|
|
|
Joined: 25 Jun 2002
Posts: 3923
Location: The Beautiful South Shore of L.I. NY
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 07/31/03 - 13:09 Post subject:
I guess what I am saying is that I couldn't give up my kids, born or unborn. JRJO is exactly right, too. There are a lot of babies out there who need parents, first take care of them.
|
|
|
|
|
elkid
Member
|
|
|
Joined: 18 Nov 2002
Posts: 8353
Location: hiding out in Philly
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 07/31/03 - 13:17 Post subject:
| monk25 wrote: | | I guess what I am saying is that I couldn't give up my kids, born or unborn. JRJO is exactly right, too. There are a lot of babies out there who need parents, first take care of them. |
I know you feel that way, particularly because you define yourself as a father - that's why I said I saw what you were saying earlier. Just to make it more interesting....
1) I'm a nonparent, others here are. I'm curious how the various groups feel about both perspectives (do most nonparents have my view, or the opposite, etc.)
2) Would it make a difference if you knew the recipient? For example, your best friend was infertile, their spouse was not - would you "let" yourself or your spouse donate if you would know the child as it grew up?
3) Adoption is often a very time-consuming, expensive process. Does anybody know the time and financial differences between surrogacy, adoption (domestic and abroad), and anonymous donation?
Fascinating topic.
|
|
|
|
|
kristin31
Member
|
|
|
Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 8045
Location: Caught in the crossfire of childhood and stardom
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 07/31/03 - 13:30 Post subject:
1) I wouldn't have a problem donating an egg anonymously. I don't have children right now, although I may want one in the future. Perhaps not having a child right now influences my view somewhat, and I don't know if it would change or not if I had one.
2) Donating to someone I know would actuallyseem a lot more bizarre and I'd be less inclined to do that. Again, I don't know why; I am not a selfish person but I can just see some issues down the road. I'd like to say I could but I can't. I think it would kill a friendship.
3)I have no idea of the costs involved with any of those options. At some point, whether or not I give birth to a child we'd like to adopt an older child. Obviously, this would be when we both feel we can be responsible parents who are willing to invest the time and love necessary. There seem to be so many children in this country who get bounced around from foster home to foster home that never have a permanent sense of family because a lot of people want to adopt babies. There a ton of great children out there who need a home and stability and if it's possible I'd like to help at least one.
|
|
|
|
|
purple hayes
Frightened Inmate #2
|
|
|
Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 14461
Location: ON YOUR LEFT!
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 07/31/03 - 13:30 Post subject:
| jrjo wrote: | | With so many unwanted children, I think adoption is the way to go. |
But you mentioned selling your 'goods'. How much money are we talking about here?
|
|
|
|
|
airehead
Oompa Loofah
|
|
|
Joined: 12 Nov 2002
Posts: 18788
Location: Between here and eternity...
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 07/31/03 - 13:34 Post subject:
| purple hayes wrote: | | jrjo wrote: | | With so many unwanted children, I think adoption is the way to go. |
But you mentioned selling your 'goods'. How much money are we talking about here? |
It's $5k for eggs and $20k to be a surrogate mom.
I'm not sure about the sperm, though.
The $20k sounded really good until Mr Aire reminded me I would have to give birth. $20k isn't enough at that point.
I think donating to a stranger would be less bizarre than someone I knew.
Unless I had a sister I was super-close to, then I would donate to her.
|
|
|
|
|
purple hayes
Frightened Inmate #2
|
|
|
Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 14461
Location: ON YOUR LEFT!
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 07/31/03 - 13:42 Post subject:
| airehead wrote: | I'm not sure about the sperm, though.
|
With the availability of sperm, I'm guessing about $5/qt.
|
|
|
|
|
cherylpf
crazy cat lady
|
|
|
Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 17304
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 07/31/03 - 13:54 Post subject:
| airehead wrote: | It's $5k for eggs and $20k to be a surrogate mom.
|
Wow, its gone up. It was $2k in college (I know because some desperate friends were looking into it)
I have no children and I think thats why I say I couldn't. I would also always wonder about my genes that are out there living...and someday I want children and if I gave up my one chance to have a child that would upset me. However, that turns the tables doesn't it? If then I couldn't have kids I would definitely do everything in my power to adopt. I've seen some people have absolutely wonderful families because of adoption.
For my sisters though? Probably. Interestingly too, I'd be more willing to serogate than to donate.
|
|
|
|
|
jrjo
Gone Fishin
|
|
|
Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 16449
Location: Lake Wobegon, MN
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 07/31/03 - 14:05 Post subject:
| elkid wrote: | 3) Adoption is often a very time-consuming, expensive process. Does anybody know the time and financial differences between surrogacy, adoption (domestic and abroad), and anonymous donation?
|
I know a handful of people involved in both and from what I see, time-wise and cost, the fertility treatments cost tons more and take longer than adoption.
As for surrogacy, I think the last stat I saw was even for all the talk about it, there are only about 1,000 surrogate births a year in this country. And the legalities of it are far from cut and dry. Pretty scary if you ask me.
|
|
|
|
|
elkid
Member
|
|
|
Joined: 18 Nov 2002
Posts: 8353
Location: hiding out in Philly
|
| Back to top
|
|
Posted: 07/31/03 - 14:10 Post subject:
| jrjo wrote: | | I know a handful of people involved in both and from what I see, time-wise and cost, the fertility treatments cost tons more and take longer. |
Did insurance cover some of that? I've had only one friend who went the fertility route, so my understanding is quite limited. She had to pay a lot for the initial tests, but once it was determined she would "have problems" her insurance company picked up half (but her half was pretty expensive). So she paid for the diagnosis and half the treatment; I can't imagine this is 'normal'?
|
|
|
|
